I Just Want You - Bam Margera
by Jewelann13
Summary: Karli Bates meets Bam Margera and his Jackass crew through her bestfriend & Ryan Dunn's sister, Brittany. Karli & Bam instantly fall for eachother while Ryan and Karli soon become close friends. But will Karli & Bam make it through cheating, drugs, lies and distance with their strong love?
1. Chapter 1-43

I Just Want You. Chapter One.

This chapter is the worst out of all of the chapters, but is also necessary to read. Don't just read the first and think the rest will suck as much as it does. Thanks. :)

I woke up late. Which wasn't normal. My alarm usually went off at 8. It was 9. I quickly walked to the bathroom. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, put my make up on, and brushed my hair. I walked to the tall dresser in the left side of my tan colored room. I pulled out a dark ripped pair of skinny jeans and a red tank top. I looked in every drawer for a jacket. Normally, I didn't wear one. But, it was supposed to rain.

I heard my phone ring from under my pillow. I ran over to grab it. "Hello?" I said, sitting down on the bed. "Karli! Where the hell are you!? Were supposed to be leaving in twenty minutes!" I put my head down. "Shit. I'm really sorry Brittany." I jumped up to grab my bags. "If we're going to be living together, this shit has to change. We have to get to Pennsylvania soon, my brothers waiting for us." I threw them by the door. "Your brother? I didn't know you had a brother." I heard rain hitting my window. 'Dammit' I thought. "His names Ryan. He lives there. He bought me the house. We we're really close when we we're kids. Until I moved out. He's going to be living next to us with a bunch of his friends. Maybe you've heard of him." I was confused. "What's his name?" "Ryan Dunn." I plopped down on the bed. "Oh my god! Ryan fucking Dunn is your brother!? And you never told me?" I had been watching Jackass for ever. I loved Ryan! But, Bam Margera was always my favorite. "Sorry. It never really came up. But, just get your ass here, now." I smiled. I was meeting the guys from Jackass, ME. "I'm coming! I'll be there in 10 minutes." I hung up the phone.

The only jacket left in my closet was a jacket, from my last boyfriend. "Fuck," I mumbled. "Screw it." I took the jacket and threw it in the trashcan next to my bed. "I'd rather die," I mumbled grabbing the rest of my stuff and running to catch a taxi.

* * *

**Chapter Two.**

It took me 15 minutes to get to where Brittany was. The look on her face could tell me she was mad. "I am so, so, so sorry. My alarm didn't go off this morning, and-" She interrupted, "Just don't let it happen again." I could see her seriousness breaking with a smile. "I missed you Bear!" I smiled hugging her. "I missed you too." She said laughing. "Now," She pulled away and opened the door to her truck. "Get your ass in, we're going on a road trip!" She smiled. "Let's go!" I laughed.

It was going to take two-and-a-half hours to get to Pennsylvania from where we were in New York. And me and Brittany planned on drinking as soon as we got there. So, I figured we'd talk for half-an-hour, I'd sleep for an hour, and stay up with her and talk for an hour.

"Have you ever, met any of the guys fromJackass?" She smiled. "My brother is Ryan Dunn. We're not as close as we used to be, but I've met all of them. I knew Bam before Jackass was even thought of. We grew up with him. Me, him, and Ryan were the closest kids could be." My jaw dropped. "What?" She laughed. "You've met-" I choked. "You've met Bam Margera!?" She laughed. "Hell yeah! I love that kid." I put my head down. "Not like that, Karli. He's like my brother." I put my head back up and looked over to her. "Ooo. Do I see a celebrity crush?" I bit my lip. "I won't even deny it. He has been my favorite ever since the first Jackass I ever saw!" She laughed really hard.

"Awh. You guys would be adorable. I can already see it. Him, sneaking out to your room every night and you two sleeping together,-" I interrupted. "Brittany!" She looked over, "What!? I didn't mean it like that." I sighed. "Good." She laughed looking back to the road. "The occasional fucking." I looked back, "Brittany!" She laughed even harder this time.

"That's it, I'm taking a nap." I giggled. "I'll wake you up soon." She said turning on the radio. Brittany liked country music. I preferred Heavy Metal. But, I was going to sleep, so I figured I'd let her have her time.

—

She woke me up in the parking lot of a Dunking Donuts. "Hey, do me a favor, go in and get some coffee. There's no drive through at this one." I yawned and opened my door. "What do you want?" I looked back at her. "Black coffee. That's it." I jumped out of her old red chevy that still drove like it was new.

I ran in through the rain. A bunch of guys starred at me from a table in the back. One of them stood up and began walking towards me. He waited behind me in line, until I ordered me and Brittany's coffee. "Hey, beautiful." I rolled my eyes. "Can I help you with something?" I said not looking directly at him. "Don't remember me, do ya?" I took a closer look at him. "Oh my god, Jake?" I jumped up and hugged him. "Ha, I knew you would." He smiled at me.

"Where are you goin' little missy?" He winked at me. Jake had been my bestfriend, until we parted ways on graduation. "Pennsylvania. I'm moving there with my friend Brittany." He looked at me up and down. "Well, we gotta keep in touch. Can I have your new number?" I smiled as he winked at me. "Sure, Jake." He pulled out his phone, and I gave him my number. Jake knew all we were was friends. Strictly friends. I grabbed my coffee and hugged Jake goodbye. "Now Karli, if you ever need anything, a ride, a place to stay, a guy who needs his ass wooped by some country boys, or just someone to talk to, you call me, alright?" I giggled. "Thanks Jake, you've always been my bestfriend." I hugged him again and ran too Brittany's truck.

"I ran into Jake in there." I said 5 miles down the road. "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen him in forever! Why didn't you tell me?" She looked over and back to the road. "Brittany. Bam fucking Margera and Ryan fucking Dunn are waiting for us to get to Pennsylvania. We need to go, fast." She laughed, again. "Well, turn up the fuckin' music and let's go!" She smiled. I turned on my station with my heavy metal music.

We'll be in Pennsylvania in less than forty-five minutes. Well, I'm going to do my make-up. I winked. She laughed and turned up the music. "I thought you didn't like this kind of music?" I said rummaging through my make up bag. "I don't prefer it. But, if we're going to be living together for the next couple of years, I'm gonna have to deal. Besides, Bam's pretty into it." She winked. "Seriously?!" I grinned. "Yup." She winked back.

"30 minutes," she mumbled. "I've already found things we have in common." I smiled. I didn't have to wear much make up to look nice. Just some foundation and some mascara. But, I looked just fine without any. Hopefully Bam likes me with and without it. Or either. "About 10 minutes." I quickly applied my mascara.

* * *

**Chapter Three.**

We arrived at my and Brittany's new home. The moving truck had already arrived. Ryan was telling them where to put everything. Brittany stepped out of the car and looked over at Ryan. She whistled. He looked over. He eyes got really big and he began to walk towards her. She opened her arms wide and began running through the grass towards him. She jumped up and hugged him as he spun her around.

I got out of the car and smiled at him. "Now, this pretty little thing must be Karli?" He looked over to Brittany. She nodded. "Well, Hello Karli." I smiled and put my hand out. "No you don't." He laughed picking me up and hugging me." I hugged back, of course. "I'm Ryan." He said putting me down. "Well, Ryan, I can see me and you will be pretty close." We all laughed.

We were right next to Bam's parent's house. Brittany had told me they we're on vacation for the Summer.

I saw a tall, dark haired guy walk out of the house next-door. "Aw. There's my brother." Brittany smiled as he walked towards her. It was Bam. It was really him.. He was even more gorgeous in person, even more.. eyes were indescribably beautiful. He came over and hugged Brittany. She looked over to me. "Bam, this is my bestfriend, Karli. Karli, this is my, sort of, brother Bam." He smiled, I smiled. He didn't offer a hug, like Ryan did. But, he did offer a hand shake.

"Bull shit." Ryan yelled. "This is how ya do it with pretty girls, my boy." He took Bam's shoulders and pushed him towards me. He grabbed his hands and put them on my waist, then taking mine and putting them around his neck. "Now, that. That is how you do it." I blushed. He pulled away after a few seconds. He didn't make eye contact with me. Every one was silent. "Uh, Ryan, why don't you help me take our bags up to our rooms?" He nodded and winked at me and Bam.

He came over and whispered to Bam, "She's my sisters bestfriend, so I can't have her. But that doesn't mean you can't." He was either terrible at whispering, or wanted me to hear. He ran away dodging Bam's attempt to hit him in the face. I giggled, and Bam made an awkward laugh. "Ha, uh, I'm sorry about, uh, Ryan. He's an idiot." I smiled. "Don't worry. It's fine." We stood there for a minute. "Well, since you and Brittany are probably going to be over a lot, do you want a tour of my house?" He grinned. "Sure, I'd like that." He grabbed my wrist gently and pulled me toward the front door. "None of the rest of the guys will be here until Wednesday. So, it's just me and Ryan." (it was Monday.)

First, he showed me the kitchen, then the dining room, then the living room, then the two bathrooms, and so on. Then, we went upstairs. He showed me the tv room, Ryan's room, Johnny's room, April & Phil's room, and the rest of the guys room. And then we got to Bam's room. We walked in. I starred at everything. Posters of him and the rest of the Jackass guys, his King-sized bed with two empty beer bottles near the foot and head board. He had a mini fridge next to his closet, full of beer, I'm guessing. He pointed to the back, "And that's another bathroom." Good to know. I half smiled.

"And that is my house." He smiled. "It's really nice." I smiled back. "Eh, it's okay. But, hey, if Brittany and you ever get into an argument or some shit, she can stay with Ryan. You can stay with me." I smiled. "Thanks." He took out his phone. "Hey, do you think I could like, get your number? Just in case." I smiled. "Sure." I gave him my number and watched him put his phone in his back pocket of his black jeans.

"So, you ready to party tonight?" He put his hand around my waist. "Hell yes!" I smiled. I already knew we'd end up drinking..

* * *

**Chapter Four.**

Bam drove his Hummer to the liquor store with Brittany. While me and Ryan set up the picnic table outside. "So, Ryan," I swallowed. "Do you know if Bam is, um, seeing anyone?" He smiled. "Yes!" I put my head down. "Oh." He grabbed my shoulders. "Wait, no. He's not. I'm just stoked you guys are going to end up hooking up and falling in love and shit." My eyes opened wide. "Ryan!" I laughed. "It's true. Bam has a thing for you." I bit my lip. But on the inside, I was screaming. "How do you know?" He gave me a weird look and crossed his arms. "I've known Bam since we we're kids, he's always been my bestfriend. I can tell." I smiled.

"Well, do you think you could ask what he thinks about me? Because I like him, so far." He jumped up smiling. "Hell yes, I will." I smiled and stood up to hug him. I heard Bam and Brittany pull up. "I'll ask him before he starts drinking, once he starts, you never know what he'll do." They walked in through the gate door.

They had a couple bags filled with liquor and beer. "Ryan, go get the shot glasses." I bit my lip. "I hate being a lightweight." Brittany mumbled. "Your not one, are you?" I shook my head. "Not usually, depends on what I'm drinking. Well, we all are tonight. I got some pretty heavy shit." Bam put his arm around me, "Hope you can handle it." He smiled, "Oh, I know I can. I'm just a little worried about you." We laughed. He walked back to the picnic table when Ryan came back with the shot glasses. "You guys ready?" Bam said grabbing out some really heavy stuff with a Mexican name I couldn't pronounce. He had 8 shot glasses. 2 for each of us.

Before he could pour it Ryan grabbed him. "Wait. Bam, come in the kitchen with me really quick." He said pulling the slide door open. Brittany sat down at the table after me. "You like Bam, right?" She smiled. I looked over. "Of course!" She smiled. "Good, he wanted me to ask you." I was shocked. "Really!? Why?" I spit out. "He likes you, too!"

"Oh my gosh, Ryan's asking him the same thing in the other room right now." This was completely, and utterly perfect. "Ryan! Bam! Get your asses out here." Brittany yelled. They came walking out, Bam with a big smile on his face. Ryan winked at me when Bam was pouring our shots. We all began taking shot, after shot, after shot. Then, we got into the two 24 packs of beer. The rest of the night was a blur.

—

I woke up the next morning with the sun glaring in through the curtains. I looked under the blanket to see I was only wearing a bra and underwear. Someone's arm was under my neck and the other hand was on my waist. They were really close to me. I looked over to see it was Bam. He was still sleeping. When I looked under the blanket I saw he was shirtless with just a pair of grey boxers on. My back pushed against his chest. He was still sleeping.

It was possible me and Bam had had sex last night. But, there was no point in waking him up to find out, when I could easily just find out when he woke up. I turned back over, and fell back asleep. I felt safe, and comfortable sleeping in his arms. I liked it, and I never wanted to leave. But, I knew eventually I'd have to.

* * *

**Chapter Five.**

I woke up again in another hour to Bam kissing my neck. Up and down. It gave me chills. I looked over smiling. "Hey, beautiful." He smiled back at me. "What happened last night, Bam?" He looked down my body and but his hand on my hip. "Well, you were drunk before we even opened the beer. Like, really drunk. And by the time you had four beers, you were falling over, you couldn't walk two steps by yourself and there was no way I was letting you and Brittany go home. So, Brittany slept in Johnny's bed, and I carried you in here." I bit my lip. "Where did our clothes go?" He laughed. "Well, I always always sleep with my shirt off. And you watched me take it off, so you decided you'd take yours off, too. And then you took my pants off. And then your own pants off." I covered my face. "Oh my god. You must hate me." I felt like an idiot. "No, believe me, I don't." He pulled my hands away and as soon as I opened my eyes, he kissed me. We sat there for a minute, just kissing. It soon turned in to a make-out. He then slid his hand down on my butt, as I pulled my fingers through his soft curly hair. I pulled away.

"I'm sorry." He blurted out. I put my hands on the back of his neck, "Don't be." I said giving him a quick peck on the lips. "I just, I have to know, did we have sex last night?" looked into his eyes. "No." I sighed in relief. I eventually would have sex with Bam, but I had just met him yesterday. I didn't want to rush things. "You tried, but I wouldn't let you, I knew you wouldn't have done it when you were sober." My eyes filled with tears as I covered my face with my hands.

"What-" He mumbled. "What's wrong?" He said pulling my hands away. "You, are the most amazing guy, I've ever met. And, Bam my last relationship, my boyfriend hit me. And, It's just amazing to have found someone like you. I know we're not together. But, just having someone like you in my life, is amazing." He rapped his arm's around my neck and pulled me into his chest.

"Whoever that guy is, he's an asshole, and if I ever see him, he's dead." I whipped my tears. I looked up to him looking back at me. I smiled. "Thank you." I put my head up and kissed him. "Well, Ryan and Brittany are probably waiting for us." I nodded. "Um, where are my clothes?" He laughed. "Your pants are right there. You can wear my shirt because I have no idea where you put yours." I bit my lip. "Thanks." I laughed. His shirt smelled like his cologne.

I waited for him to put his clothes back on before walking back downstairs. I saw Ryan sitting at the island in the kitchen next to Brittany. I sat down next to Ryan. "Well good morning sun shine." I laughed punching his shoulder. Bam smiled walking over to the fridge. "How was he?" Ryan loudly whispered to me. "Ryan!" I pushed him towards Brittany. He didn't move. "What?" He went towards me to whisper. "I'm being dead serious Karli. Did anything happen last night." I looked over to Bam. He wasn't even paying attention. I looked back to Ryan. "We kissed a couple of times. And I woke up just in my bra and underwear. He was in his boxers. But, we didn't do anything like that. I tried, but he wouldn't let me." I whispered. He nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. "Ryan. What?" He shook his head. "I'll tell you when we're alone." I couldn't wait to know what he was going to tell me.

Bam had to go meet one of the producers forViva La Bam,and he was going to be gone for a couple hours. "I'll be back around 6. But, I can't tell you if I'll be here before or after our party starts." We were having a house party. It was Brittany's idea. But, it was at Bam's house, since our house wasn't completely done. Brittany hugged him before he left. "Bring back beer." He laughed. "I always do." He pulled away and looked at me. We just stood there, staring at eachother.

"Brittany, come with me." She nodded and they walked quickly to the house. "Well, I guess I'll see you later?" He half smiled. "Bam."I smiled. "Yeah?" I walked towards him. "Come here." I wrapped my arms around his head and hugged him. He put his around my waist and held me tight. I pulled my head back and gave him a 5 second kiss. "Hurry up. I don't want to fall asleep without you tonight." We smiled. "I don't even want to leave now." He kissed me again. This time it was more of a make-out. "You have to. Just, be home as fast as you can. Okay?" I pulled away and took a few steps back, even though I really didn't want to. He opened the door to his Hummer and drove away. I could hear his music blasting until his car disappeared down the road.

* * *

**Chapter Six.**

Brittany and Ryan got the drinks and everything ready while I was upstairs getting ready. I put eyeliner on at special occasions. And tonight, I considered it a special occasion. I straightened my hair. And put on a sexy outfit, for Bam, of course. I wasn't worried about anyone else. I had only known him for a day and I already felt something about him.

"Ryan. Can you come here?" I yelled. I heard him running up the stairs. "Yeah?" He sat down on Bam's bed. "Can I ask your opinion on something?" I opened the bathroom door. "Sure, what-" His jaw dropped. "Do you like it?" I smiled. "I'm just gonna say, if you weren't my sisters bestfriend, and it wasn't for Bam, I'd do you." I laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment." I kissed his cheek. "What were you telling me in the kitchen earlier." He looked down. "Karli, I've never seen Bam like this before. He's never this nice to people. He really likes you. I can tell. And I know all this is moving quick. But, by the end of the month, you and Bam are going to be dating and you'll have had sex. I already know. And by the next month, you'll already be sleeping in the same bed everynight. I know it. So, please, don't break his heart." I smiled. "Ryan, I wouldn't even consider it." I hugged him.

I looked out the window in Bam's room. Cars were pulling up and people were walking up the driveway. "Well, let's go." Ryan stood up and walked down the hall and down the stairs. Brittany was opening the door and me and Ryan started pouring the drinks.

—-

It was 7. The party started at 6, when Bam was supposed to be home. His phone was off and I hadn't heard from him for hours. I got up off the couch and walked towards Ryan. "Have you heard from Bam?" He could barely hear me. "No. Not since earlier. Don't worry, he'll be here." I walked back over to the couch.

A tall guy wearing a dark grey hoodie walked in with two other guys. I got a pain in my stomach. He walked towards me. "Well, look at this." I looked up. I couldn't see his face. But, I recognized his cologne. "Karli Bates. Long time no see." He laughed. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" I stood up and walked to the other side of the room before he could answer.

I stood next to the stairs, waiting for Bam to come through the front door. He walked up to me again with the guys who walked in with him. They all had a shot in each hand. They put them on the table next to me. "If you can take all these in under a minute, we'll leave." I didn't want them there. I didn't know who they were, but I had a terrible feeling about them. "Fine." I began taking shot after shot until they were all gone. It was the Mexican liquor I had been drinking the night before. I didn't realize until I saw it in the second guys hand. "Damn you" I mumbled.

He put his hood down, "Jason." I mouthed. "Get the fuck out of here, now." He pushed me against the wall to where I couldn't move. "Aww. You don't want that." He kissed my neck. "It's been a while. You.. You look good." He put his available arm on my butt. "Now, how about we take this upstairs?" He continued to kiss me up my neck until he got to my cheek. "Get the fuck off of me!" I screamed. The music was so loud. No one could hear me.

"Ryan!" I yelled. He came running. "What the hell, man?" Jason pulled me to where he was holding me up against him. "Get off of her, dude. Now." Jason laughed. "How about, no." His friends walked outside to there car and drove away. He obviously still had his piece-of-shit dodge truck. He walked close to Ryan. "Now, theres a gun in my pocket. So, if I were you, I'd back up. I'm taking her back to New York." Brittany ran up. "Jason! What the fuck are you doing here? Get the fuck off of her and get out." She walked closer to him. Ryan grabbed her. "What the fuck Ryan?" She yelled. "Brittany, he has a gun." Her eyes opened wide.

Jason opened the door and began to walk out. He walked down the front stairs and through the grass, towards his truck. I struggled to get out of his grip. "Jason! Please, let me go." He laughed. "You really think I'd do something like that?" He kissed my forehead. "I would." a voice from behind said. "Bam!" I yelled. Tears ran down my cheek. Jason's grip was getting tighter and he was really hurting me. I could barely breath. If he got me into that car, I wouldn't live another month. Jason turned around and Bam hit him in the face. His grip loosened, and I got away from him. Ryan was standing on the drive way. I ran towards him and hugged him. He held me.

I didn't want to see Bam fight, but I had to watch. I never expected him to act like this. He hit him, really hard. He was so mad. His facial expressions were indescribable. He wasn't acting like the funny guy from TV. Or the sweet guy I'd grown feelings for.

* * *

**Chapter seven:**

Someone at the party had called the police. Once I talked to them, they didn't take Bam to the police station, but Jason did go to jail. I hadn't seen Bam since I talked to the police. Ryan had everyone leave the house before me and Bam went back inside.

Brittany went upstairs to sleep in Johnny's room again. Ryan went upstairs to his room, and I had no idea where Bam was. I sat on the couch, and I broke down in tears. I could have gotten Bam killed. It was my fault. I put my face in my hands. I lied down, but I couldn't sleep. Not only did I feel terrible for what had happened, but I had no idea where Bam was.

After 20 minutes, I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text from Bam. Come upstairs. Please. I whipped my tears and ran to the bathroom. I took off all of my makeup. I slowly walked up to Bam's room. As soon as I opened the door, he hugged me. We stood there, with him holding me while I cried. He whispered, "Don't cry. Please, I'm here for you. And everything's gonna be alright." I let go. "Can we lie down? I don't want to drink anymore. But, I don't want to sleep either." He nodded and kissed my forehead.

I lyed down on the right side of the bed while Bam took his shirt off. He got on the left side and lyed down next to me. He put my arm behind his neck, and his other hand on my waist.

"Bam, I am so sorry. This-" He interrupted me. "Don't be." He leaned in and kissed me. "No, I do. It's my fault." He shook his head and kissed me again. "No. It's not. It's that assholes fault for ever fucking touching you." He looked towards the window. I could tell he was getting mad. "Bam." He looked back at me. I leaned up and began to make out with him. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me over to where I was sitting on his waist.

I was ready to have sex with Bam, but I wanted to wait. I pulled away and lyed down on the left side of him. We were really close. He had one hand behind my neck and the other on the right side of him. I had my left hand on his chest. I kissed him one more time and tried to fall asleep.

* * *

**Chapter Eight.**

I woke up the next morning with Bam next to me. "Finally." He laughed. "Sorry." I smiled. "Don't worry. I like watching you sleep, but don't take that wrong. It's not a weird thing, you're just really beautiful. But, I like you better when you're awake." I leaned in to kiss him, "Thank you." It was just a quick kiss at first, but turned in to a make out, as usual. His phone vibrated and he pulled away. "Uh, I should take this." I nodded, kissing him before he walked out of the room. I figured it was just someone from Viva La Bam, so I wasn't really worried about it.

Brittany texted me: The rest of the guys from Jackass are coming here today. We're going to have to start getting our house ready to live and sleep in.

'Dammit,' I thought. I really did like sleeping with Bam, but I knew we'd work something out. I got up and changed into my dark jeans and black Heartagram tank top.

I walked downstairs and sat next to Ryan on the couch. "So." He looked at me winking. "So, what?" I asked with a confused look on my face. "So, did it happen last night?" I shook my head. "No. And believe me, I'm ready for it to happen, but I want to wait and see what happens with us." He nodded.

"Well, soon Brittany's going to be living alone, I guess." He put his feet up on the coffee table. "No, why would she be?" I bit my lip. That was a habit of mine, Bam loved it though. "You and Bam already sleep in the same bed every night. It won't be long before you're not living next to us, but living with us." He was right. "You do have a point there, but I don't know. Like I said, I don't know how things are going to work out. If they do, yeah I'll probably be living with you guys, but I'll still be with Brittany every day. That was the whole point of us moving in together."

"You're gonna be my sister in law, I have a feeling." I reached out to hug him, "Aw, Ryan." I smiled.

I heard several bangs on the door before they barged in. It was Johnny in front and Steve-O behind him. Ryan jumped up to hug them. I sat quietly on the couch while they greeted each other. "Where's Bam?" Johnny looked over to me.

"Ryan. Who's this?" I stood up. "I'm Karli. Nice to meet you." I reached out my hand as he went in for the hug. "Oh, it's very nice to meet you, Karli." I looked to Ryan. "Johnny." He looked over shrugging his shoulder. "What? Did you already call dibs?" I giggled. "No. B-" Bam walked downstairs. "I did, asshole." I laughed and smiled at him. "See Steve-O? I told you we should have shown up Monday." Bam shook his head.

"Well, I have to go meet up with the other producers, so keep your hands off while I'm gone." Johnny laughed, "No promises." He sat down next to me on the couch. I stood up and walked towards Bam. " You don't have to worry about anything." I kissed his cheek. "Trust me." He smiled. "I do." He leaned down and kissed me, this time on the lips.

I walked back to the couch, this time sitting on the opposite side of Johnny. I watched as Bam walked to his Hummer and drove away.

It was Friday, so we'd be going out tonight, and I really didn't want him to be late again. I really didn't want to go to the bar without him. I didn't trust myself drinking without him there.

Mainly because he's the one that's been there for me before. And because I knew Johnny would be there. And the two of us drunk, something was bound to happen, and I really didn't want it to.

* * *

**Chapter Nine.**

We ended up leaving without Bam. Ryan texted him telling him what bar we were going to, and to meet us there. I wasn't drinking until Bam got there. I promised myself that. Brittany bet me three shots of whiskey that I'd break before he got there. She had a feeling he was going to be really late, and didn't want me to have a bad time.

Johnny opened the door for me and Brittany. "Thanks." I smiled. Johhny actually did seem to be a nice guy.. or maybe I was just mistaking his flirting for nice-ness.

Once we got in the bar, I stuck with Ryan the entire time. I couldn't find anyone else, and I actually enjoyed having a conversation with him.

I was actually having a fun time sober, until Brittany texted me.

Brittany: Hey. Ready to sleep in our own house tonight?

Karli: About that, I am. But me & Ryan talked about it earlier, and we think that if things keep going this well with me and Bam, I'm going to probably move in with them.

Brittany: Are you fucking kidding me? You moved here, with me. You're supposed to be living, with me! And your moving in with fucking Bam?

Karli: Nothing's decided yet. I just thought I should tell you the possibility's. I'd still see you every day.

Brittany: How about you just move in with them now? Fuck it. I don't even care.

Karli: You're drunk. And mad. We can talk about this tomorrow, when we're both sober. I'll stay with Bam tonight if you want me too.

Brittany: No, I don't. But you'd obviously prefer it. So, go the fuck ahead and don't come home. Move in with them.

Karli: Brittany, please. I'm sorry. You've been my bestfriend for years, and I don't want this.

Brittany: Fine. Just stay with Bam tonight and we can talk about this tomorrow.

I didn't even bother telling Ryan about it. There was no point.

"Have you talked to Bam at all lately?" I asked, watching him take another shot of whiskey. He shook his head. "Just fucking drink. Please?" He pushed a shot towards me. "I'm sorry Ryan," I pushed it back to him. "I'm waiting for Bam." He shook his head and grabbed the shot. "Oh fuckin' well then."

I was still sober when I got the worst text I could have imagined at the time. It was 10:44 PM exactly.

Bam: I had so much fun with you.(; It was so worth the two hour drive to Maryland.

I was speechless. I couldn't even talk. Ryan asked me what was wrong atleast 10 times. But, I could never answer him. I got another text. I didn't even want to read it.

Bam: I am so sorry. I meant to send that to my sister. I figured if I'm driving an hour to my producers I'd go see her, since I haven't seen her in two years.

"Ryan.." I swallowed hard. "Karli, finally. What's wrong?" I looked him in the eyes. "Does Bam have a sister that lives in Maryland?" He looked at my phone on the table and back at me. "No. He doesn't have a sister at all." I grabbed my purse from the chair next to me.

I walked up to Ryan and hugged him. "Thank you, for being there for me this whole time." I kissed him on the cheek. "No problem." He hugged back. "I'll keep in touch, calls, text. Maybe we can visit eachother sometime." He was drunk. And confused. "Ryan, I'm going back to New York. I'm gonna stay with my sister."

"Please, don't." My eyes filled with tears as I kissed him on the cheek one more time. "Tell Brittany I said bye, and that I love her. Tell Bam I went home, but don't tell him where I live." I felt sick.

I walked to the door, and took one last look at Ryan. Sitting there, drunk, and confused.

I went back to the house and grabbed all of my things. The dressers and bed I'd have to have sent to me.

I called a taxi. Just before I stepped out the door I remembered I had clothes and make up in Bam's room. I couldn't leave them. I walked up the stairs dreading walking through the door. I slowly opened it. My clothes were all over the room. I quickly grabbed them all And walked out, shutting the door behind me.

Bam: I'll be at the bar in 5 minutes. Can't wait to see you.

I walked outside when I got a call from him. I ignored it, just like I ignored the next 4.

Bam: Ryan told me you're going home. I'm on my way back to the house. Please call me and tell me whats wrong.

Bam: Karli, please call me. Or text me. I just want to know you're alright.

Bam: I'll be at the house in less than 5. Please, wait for me there.

The tears got worse when I got into the taxi, and watched as Bam's blue Hummer drove in front of the house. I watched his car, disappear behind me as we drove farther away...

* * *

**Chapter Ten.**

I didn't make it to my sister house. It was late before I got back to New York. I stayed in a hotel 13 miles from my sisters house. I had turned my phone off after I got into the taxi. I couldn't take much more of the calls and texts from Bam.

Once I turned it on the next morning, I had 23 missed calls. Four from Ryan. Two from Brittany. And the rest were from Bam. I don't even know how many texts I had.

Brittany: What in the hell happened last night? Where are you?!

Ryan: Karli, I was really drunk last night, but I remember everything you told me. Please come back.

Ryan: Bam's freaking out, breaking everything. Just call him.

Ryan: Can you call me and tell me your alright?

Ryan: I can see your phone's off. Please call me when you get this. Please.

Bam: I fucked up. And I can't tell you how sorry I am.

Bam: I'm sorry.

Bam: I don't know what to do. Please call me back.

Bam: Please call me. I can't take not knowing if your okay.

Bam: I can't take much more of this.

Bam: Why is your phone off? Are you okay?

Bam: Karli. Please, just call me. or text me. i need to know your alright.

Brittany: We're all freaking out, please call one of us!

And more, just like them from Bam. I called Ryan. It rang three times. "Karli! Oh my god finally. Are you okay?!"

"Yeah, Ryan. I'm okay. I'm in a hotel in New York." I could hear people talking in the background. "Who was Bam with last night?" I blurted out. "I'm going to be honest with you. And Bam was going to tell you too." He paused. Bam had hooked up with a girl two weeks before he met you. She's been calling him like crazy since. He came to see her, and tell her about you. They started drinking, and she kissed him. They did some stuff, but they didn't have sex. And he regrets it like crazy.."

"As soon as I told him you left he freaked out and drove home. We drove behind him, but we couldn't keep up. When we told him you might not come back, he started breaking shit and throwing everything everywhere. Took us all 5 hours to clean up the mess he made. I could hear him in his room crying all night."

I broke down. "Ryan, I have to go, I'm going to call him." I looked at the clock. It was 1 in the afternoon. "Alright. But, please just consider coming home.", "I will." I hung up.

I dialed Bam's number. It didn't take long for him to pick up. "Karli! Please come home. I'm so sorry about everything. I can't even tell you how I felt when I found out you left. Karli, I am so sorry." You could tell he was upset, and had been crying. "Bam. What you did, had me so upset I can't even tell you. And maybe I went a little overboard with coming back to NewYork. But, what you did... I never thought you of all people would do that to me." He could tell I had been crying, too.

"Karli, please don't cry. Please." I whipped my tears from my cheek.

"I was drunk. It will never happen again. I regret it more than anything." I put my head down. All I wanted to do was see him. But, I knew it wasn't that easy. I couldn't be mad. We weren't dating, It's not like he cheated on me.

"Please, come home." I bit my lip. "I don't have any money. I spent it all last night on the taxi here." I grabbed my purse and threw it at the wall. I was mad. Really mad.

"I'll come get you. Right now." I looked to everything that was in my purse, all over the floor. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to. I want to see you. I want to hold you. And I want to tell you how sorry I am.", "You already have." (In several voicemails and messages.) "No. I need to tell you to your face. You deserve that." I stood up and grabbed my bags. "I have a credit card. I'll go to the bank and I'll call a taxi with that money." i stood up and walked into the bathroom to grab all of my things. "Are you sure?" I walked back out. "Yes, Bam. I'll see you tonight."

"I'll come outside when you get here.", "Alright." There was a silence. "I-" He paused. "I love you, Karli." I dropped everything in my hands besides the phone. I was in shock. I just stood there. "I love you too, Bam." I bit my lip harder than usual. "Good. I'll see you when you get here." He breathed. I hung up the phone and dialed my sisters number.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven.**

"Hello?" She answered. "Hey, can you take me to the bank?" There was a silence. "Yeah, where are you?" I told her my hotel name and she told me she'd be there in "twenty minutes."

I got the rest of my things ready. And walked down to the lobby. While I was waiting outside, I figured I'd call Brittany. "Oh my god." She answered, "Hey." I mumbled. "Karli! Don't ever leave again! I saw our messages from last night when I woke up this morning. I am so sorry. You can still live with me, just come home!" I smiled, "Brittany, I didn't leave because of you. I left because-" She interupted me, "I know, you left because of Bam.. Ryan told me." I wasn't surprised.

"Well, I'm coming home tonight. I just have to go to the bank first.", "Good." I could see my sisters car pulling up. "My sisters here, I'll see you tonight." I hung up.

"Hey!" She ran out of the car to hug me. "Hi!" I laughed. She helped me get all of my bags into the back of her yellow Jeep. "So, why did you come back to New York for the night, just to leave in the morning?" I told her about Bam last night. "He apoligized. And he was drunk. He didn't have sex with her, and even if he did, we're not dating. I can't be mad." She looked over to me. "Well, I'm glad you said that. Because I wasn't going to."

My sister was the one of the few people I trusted with everything. Brittany and Ryan being in that few people. Bam, too.

-

We went to the bank, and she insisted I come and visit her boyfriend and my niece. It was 5 by the time I finally left and got a taxi back to the house. I texted Ryan to let him know I was on my way.

Karli: I'm coming home now. Only tell Brittany.

Ryan: Hurry up! I fucking hate it here without you!

Karli: I want to see everyone. But, could you get everyone out of the house tonight? Me and Bam really need to talk. Alone.

Ryan: Oh. Are you going to... you know?

Karli: No. I highly doubt that. I just think we need to talk.

Ryan: Well even though I really want to see you, fine. For you.

Karli: Thanks. I'll be home in two hours. Can everyone be out by then?

Ryan: If they can't, I'll make them be out by then.

Karli: I love you, Ryan. (:

Ryan: I love you too, Karli. (:

I figured since I didn't get much sleep since I was crying all night, that I'd get some sleep on the way there.

-

I woke up to the driver pushing on my shoulder. "Oh my gosh. I'm sorry." He smiled. "It's alright." I payed him and got all my bags out. It was raining, so I hurried up. I got half way through the drive way when Bam came running outside. I dropped my bags.

He stood on the front steps and slowly walked down to see me. He stopped about 10 inches away from me.

We stood there, in the pouring rain. He was looking down at the ground.

I put my hands on his cheeks and pulled his face towards mine. "Bam," He looked at me, shocked. "Yeah?" he mumbled. "I love you." I pulled him in and began kissing him. He wrapped his arms around my waist while I put mine around his neck. He picked me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pulled away. "What?" I was confused. "I don't deserve you. Or this." He looked away and put me back down. "But," He shook his head. "Can you go upstairs? Please. I'll be up there in a minute to talk to you."

He rejected me. I was angry. I grabbed my bags and ran inside. He was already behind the house by the time I opened the front door. I threw my bags in the front room. I put my hands on my face and screamed.

I slowly put my head up. I saw picture frames with the glass broken out of them on the table in front of me. There was a notepad on the ground. It was a note from Bam to Ryan:

When she comes back, I want everything to be perfect. I want the night to be the best night she's ever had. I don't know if we'll actually have sex, I want to, but I don't know about her.. But, if we do, can you keep everyone out of the house for a few hours? I need to let her know how sorry I am, and how much I care about her. -Bam.

I couldn't help but break my anger with a smile. I couldn't be mad at Bam. He was an amazing guy, despite what he did. And I cared about him, a lot. And I was going to show him. That night.

_

Chapter Twelve.

I walked upstairs to Bam's bedroom. It was a mess. There were clothes everywhere. Beer cans all over the bed and the floor. I walked to the bed and pushed everything on top of the blanket, off. I planned on cleaning his room tomorrow. Since he made all of the mess because of me.

I took off my shorts and my jacket. I was only in my tank top, bra and underwear.

Karli: Come up stairs. Please.

Bam: Ok.

I got under the covers, so all he could see was my tank top. I could hear him quickly walking up the steps. He opened the door and sat next to me. "Karli, I'm so sorry. You have no idea h-" I interrupted him. "Bam, you don't have to be." He shook his head, "Yes!" He yelled. I jumped back. He had never yelled at me before. "Yes, I do. I got drunk. She kissed me, and we-" He paused, "I made you cry… And I never wanted that to ever happen."

He put his head down facing the blanket. I gently touched his face and pulled it close to mine, "I over reacted. I shouldn't have left. We're not dating.. I can't be mad." He put his hands over mine, "Still." I pulled him down to where he was lying down on the bed and I was sitting on top of him. "All I care about, is that I'm here. Right now. With you.. And I'm happy." He smiled, "That's what I want." I leaned down and kissed him. I lifted him up to take off his shirt. I took off my tank top and began to unbuckle his pants. He grabbed my hands to stop me.

"Are you sure?" He breathed, "I want this more than anything." We smiled.

—-

I woke up the next morning almost on top of Bam. I was wearing the shirt he had been wearing the night before, and only that. I slipped out from under the blanket trying not to wake him up. I put all of my clothes back on from last night and sat back on the bed gently to check my phone. I had a few texts from Ryan from about an hour ago.

Ryan: I heard you last night. It was pretty entertaining. Remember, my room is right next to Bam's.

Ryan: You guys did it for hours. I don't mind though, it's kinda like free porn.

Ryan: I can't imagine you guys when your drunk. Haha! This is gonna be fun for the three of us!

I couldn't help but laugh at Ryan's strange since of humor.

I walked downstairs to the kitchen. But, I ended up walking half way in before someone called my name from behind. "Karli-i-i." They said lengthening the "I". I turned to see Ryan with his legs crossed and his arms folded. "Ryan!" I smiled. He jumped up hugging me tight. I was able to get out, "I missed you." Before he picked me up. And spun me around a few times.

He put me down and pulled me to the couch next to him. He grabbed my hand. "How was he?" I laughed punching his shoulder. "Hey! Just a question." He followed me into the kitchen. "That needs to be answered," He added.

"Ryan, it was amazing. The best in my life." He smiled, "And how many other guys had the pleasure of knowing how good you are?" He joked. "A few." He laughed, thinking I was lying. I sort of was. But, if you count the people who actually meant something to you, mine was one. Bam. "Oh, and Ryan, I have to tell you something." He put his hands together under his chin, "Well go on ahead," We laughed. He poured himself a shot and waited for me to finish.

"Yesterday, the thing that got me to come home, was that Bam told me he loved me." He took down the shot before I was done and spit it out everywhere. "Oh my god, Ryan!" I yelled. He dried his beard. "I'm sorry! That's a big deal!" I was confused. I knew telling someone you love them is a big deal, but Ryan was taking this way too serious.

"Karli, Bam hasn't told a girl he loved her. Except in highschool, but he didn't mean it." I bit my lip. "Why?" He poured himself another shot. "I guess he's never really felt that way about someone." I couldn't help but smile. Bam thought he didn't deserve me, when it was really the other way around.

"When do you think he's going to wake up?" He took his shot. "Why? You planning on picking out wedding rings?" He laughed. "Not yet," I winked. His eyes got big. "Just kidding." I laughed, "I'm cleaning up the mess he made in his room because I left." Ryan shook his head. "Don't." I followed him into the living room.

"If Bam wanted the room clean, it would be clean. He obviously wants beer cans and shit everywhere for now." I nodded. I heard someone walking downstairs.

It was Johnny and Steve-O. I looked at Steve-O's giant tattoo of himself on his back when he turned to walk into the kitchen, "You look like such a freak with that on your back." He walked back and looked at me. "I don't know about you, but I've never seen a freak look this good." He joked. We all laughed. Steve-O was a freak. But he was attractive. I didn't see him like that though.

Bam was all I wanted. And i knew that.

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen.**

"Where's Brittany?" I looked over to Ryan. He shrugged his shoulders. "Probably in that house you two are supposed to be living in." He grinned.

"We need to go shopping for food. I'm hungry as shit. Wanna come?" I nodded. He stood up and walked towards the bathroom. "Twenty minutes?" I asked. He put a thumbs up.

I changed into a tight black t-shirt and black skinny jeans. I didn't put any make up on, since I looked fine without it. I slipped on my black shoes and waited for Ryan. I walked out to the car as Bam opened the front door of the house. "Where are you guys going?" He yelled. "Shoppin'. We'll be back in a hour 'r two." We both walked to the middle of the front yard. "Don't let him drive too fast. Okay?" I was confused. "Okay.." He leaned towards me and kissed me. Gently, but it was intense. "Love you," He mumbled as I walked away. I began walking backwards, smiling, "I love you, too." He smiled back.

"Do not drive fast with her, Dunn." He put a thumbs up and drove off at about 90. "Ryan!" I yelled. He slowed down, "That was just to piss Bam off." He smiled. "But, on the way home I will be showing you about how fast this baby can go." I bit my lip.

Bam: Please, don't let him go fast with you. He's crashed that thing plenty of times. If anything happens to him, I don't know what I'll do. If anything happens to you.. he's dead.

Karli: Bam, don't worry. I won't let him. I love you.

Bam: Okay. I love you too.

I had to tell him I loved him. I was scared I'd never be able to again. We went to the store and got a bunch of food. A few fans came up and got their picture with Ryan.

_

When we were done shopping I followed Ryan to his Porsche. We put the groceries in the back and walked to the front. "You ready to see how fast she goes?" He asked. I buckled my seatbelt. "Not really. But I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I replied.

"Please put your seatbelt on." I breathed. He rolled his eyes and buckled up. "Ready now?" He asked. I nodded and took out my phone to text Bam.

Karli: We're leaving now. We'll be home in like 10 minutes. Love you.

I knew I had to tell him I loved him incase anything happened.

He drove off the highway and onto a back road, the long way back. My phone went off, it was Bam.

Bam: Good. I love you too. Can you call me? Ryan's an idiot when he's driving and I don't trust him with you enough to drive safe. If I'm on the phone, he won't do anything stupid.

Before I could reply, Ryan went up to 105 mph. "Ryan!" I screamed. He laughed and took it down to 100, which didn't change much. "Who're you texting?" He asked looking at me. "Bam. He's going to call me." He raised an eyebrow. I laughed at his facial expression. We both finally looked back at the road. "Ryan!" I screamed.

It was too late. The road had turned without Ryan noticing. We drove into the trees and slammed into one about 10 feet into the woods.

Ryan's airbag had come out but mine hadn't, it must have been stuck. I hit my head hard on the dash and everything became blurry. I looked to Ryan who, despite his airbag, had become knocked unconscious.

My phone began to ring. It had to of been Bam. My side of the car had been damaged much worse than Ryan's and I was in the position that I couldn't even move my arms. I heard my phone ring two more times back to back until I too had become unconscious.

_

I was sure I was dead until after what felt like an eternity I woke up in the hospital.

I looked around with my blurred vision. I looked to the calendar next to my bed when I realized I had been asleep for three weeks. I looked at the bruises scattered on my right arm and fading ones on my left. I had IV's in me and I was on a heart monitor.

I looked down at my left to see my hand placed securely in Bam's. He had his head in my lap and he was asleep. I thought of letting him sleep but I missed him more than words could explain. I was weak, and I could barely speak or move, but I managed.

I gently touched his shoulder three times. "Johnny, I'm not leaving her. Not until she wakes up. Get the fuck out." He murmured without moving his head. "Bam." I smiled. His head sprung up. "Kar- Oh my god!" He threw his arms around my neck pulling me in gently. He quickly pulled away to face me. "I've missed you so much. Oh my god. You're alive. You're really fucking alive!" He said kissing my forehead twice and then he came down to my lips.

"I can't-" He began. "Shh." I smiled pressing my index finger to his lips. I looked into his deep blue eyes trying to not pay attention to the dark bags underneath them. "I'm here. And I'm never leaving again. I promise." We smiled though we both had tears in our eyes. "I love you." I put my hands on his cheeks and pulled him into my lips. We kissed for minutes but it felt like hours.

I began to think about Ryan. I didn't want to stop kissing Bam but I had too. Despite what happened Ryan was and always would be my best friend. I pulled away and looked at the ground. "What's wrong?" He asked taking my hands in his lap. "Where's Ryan?" I asked. His smile faded.

"He was in the hospital for about three days. He was right over there," He pointed to the bed next to mine. "Everyone came and saw him. He tried to talk to me but I wouldn't answer him. On the third day I woke up after about an hour nap and he was gone. I guess he's at the house, I have no idea." I raised my eyebrow.

"Bam, how long have you been here?" I asked. "You've been asleep for three weeks, so about three weeks." My jaw dropped. "You haven't gone back home at all?" I mumbled. "No. Johnny's been bringing me clothes and food from the cafeteria. I sleep three'r four hours a day. I wanted to be the first thing you saw when you woke up, but of course it happened when I was sleeping." I leaned in as far as I could.

"I couldn't have woken up any better." I smiled and kissed him deeply.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen.**

After the doctor left, Bam and I spent hours of talking and explaining what happened. Until we were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Not waiting for a reply, someone walk in with their face covered with 'Get Well Soon' balloons, a bouquet of pink flowers and coffee. I looked to the floor to see black high-top Converse and jeans and I immediately knew it was Johnny.

He stood at the door for a minute. "Hey Bam, you like your coffee black, right?" I smiled that he couldn't see me so he couldn't know I was awake. "Yeah," Bam laughed. "Put the stuff down, Knoxville." Johnny handed Bam his coffee and placed the flowers on the table next to the several others. Once his hand was free, he moved the balloons from his face and looked down at me. He let the balloons float to the ceiling and his jaw dropped.

He was silent for a second. His face was priceless. "Oh. My. God." He said spacing out his letters with no expression in his voice. "Karli!" He screamed leaning down to hug me. He kissed me on the cheek and brought himself back up. "When did your ass wake up?" He smiled. I looked to Bam. "A few hours ago." He replied smiling, not taking his eyes off me.

"The doctor said I can leave tomorrow afternoon." I said taking my eyes of Bam and towards Johnny. "Wait," I frowned. "If you've been here the whole time, what are you guys doing about Jackass?" I mumbled. "Well, we talked to Jeff and he said since this affected not just Bam but me, Steve-O and Ryan, that we could wait until you were awake and back on your feet."

"That's so sweet." I blushed. "Brittany and everyone will want to be seeing you. Care if I call them?" Johnny asked. I smiled and nodded. "Do you care?' I asked Bam. "Of course not." He smiled.

"I'm going to get food. You two want anything?" He asked. We shook our heads. He began dialing someone's number as he walked out the door.

_

Half an hour had passed by. Me, Johnny and Bam talked until the door swung open. It was Brittany. She ran over to my bed running into Johnny as if he wasn't even there. She didn't say anything at first. She just hugged me and cried on my shoulder.

I then remembered that I and Brittany hadn't seen each other since the night at the bar before I left for New York. "I'm so fucking sorry." She cried. "It's okay. Really." I said smiling through my tears. She kissed my cheek hard and pulled back. "Well, for someone who's been sleeping for three weeks, you look amazing." She said whipping her tears away.

"Brittany came here every day and brushed your hair. She always made sure you were clean too." I blushed and smiled. I looked past Brittany to see Steve-O at the door. "Hey beautiful." I smiled as he leaned in to hug me. He kissed me on my cheek nearly brushing my lips with his. I didn't pay much attention to it and hugged him without a word. "Where's Ryan?" I asked as Steve-O pulled away. Bam frowned and everyone looked at Brittany. "He's downstairs. He really wants to talk to you alone." Bam coughed and wrinkled his forehead.

"Why?" He asked sarcastically. "Bam." I growled. "What Karli? Really? I mean the guy nearly killed you and himself. And I warned-" I interrupted him. "He's my best friend." I paused. "And no matter what he's yours too. I forgive him. And so should you. Anyway, I was talking to him." I said taking his hand in mine. "But-" I interrupted him again. "But nothing." Now, I'm going to talk to Ryan, alone. And then you're going to come in, and we're all going to talk. Okay?" He nodded.

I put my hand behind his head and pulled him in for a kiss. "Tell him to come upstairs." I said to Brittany. Everyone gave me a hug and walked out. "Are you sure?" Bam said without moving from the chair next to my bed. I nodded closing my eyes as he leaned in to kiss me.

He got up and walked out looking back before he closed the door behind him.

I waited about five minutes until Ryan finally came to the door. He wore a white V-neck t-shirt and blue jeans. I noticed a fading cut on his left forearm. He quickly walked over to me and hugged me tighter than anyone else had.

He didn't loosen his grip and soon began to cry onto my shoulder. I had never imagined I'd see Ryan cry, and the thought made me cry as well.

"Karli, I am so sorry." He pulled away slowly. He took both of my hands in his. "Ryan, don't be. Really, it's not your fault. I-" He interrupted me. "Don't say that. It is my fault. I was driving, I wasn't paying attention and I crashed. Look what I did to you." He looked to the other side of the bed to the heart monitor and the IV's in my arms. "Shut up." I said loudly. "I forgive you. You're my best friend and I love you. And I'm not going to let this shit come between us."

The room was silent for a second. "This isn't shit. This is serious. Believe me Karli; I want us to go back more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. But I can never allow myself to hurt you again."

I reached my hands on his cheeks and pulled him towards me. "Ryan Matthew Dunn, this was not your fault. I don't blame you. No one does. I want us to be best friends until the day we die. If either of us gets hurt from now until then, it won't be the other or anyone else's fault. It'll be our own. Because we are letting ourselves get out there knowing the possibilities. As soon as I leave this hospital tomorrow, I want this forgotten. Please." He nodded and leaned in to hug me. I took out my phone and called Bam. "I'm coming." He answered. I hung up immediately and smiled mischievously at Ryan.

"Oh my god. What are you doing?" He asked. "Nothing." I said smiling way too hard for him to believe me. "Karli. Tell me." I opened my mouth but before I could say anything Bam walked in. Ryan's face went pale and blank as he sat in the chair next to his where Johnny had sat before.

"So, let's get started." I smiled looking at them both refusing to look at each other.

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen.**

"Now, I'm gonna start this off. Okay?" They rolled their eyes. "Okay. So, how long have you two been best friends again?" Bam began to open his mouth but just turned his head the other way. "Ryan?" I asked biting my lip. "Since high school." He murmured.

"Since high school? Damn. And you two are going to let this stupid shit ruin your friendship?" They both looked directly at me. "This isn't stupid shit this -" I interrupted Bam. "No. I'm talking and you two are shutting the fuck up." I said without an expression.

Bam starred at me with a confused face. "I'm not going to lecture you. I was going to, but I changed my mind." I paused. "I'm going to tell you something I think you've both forgotten,"

"Once you hit a certain age, you don't remember much. The stuff you can remember is from high school and up. You two have lived through all of that together. You two are brothers. You'll always be brothers no matter what. You've seen each other at your worst and your best and you've stuck together. The accident is nothing and you two mean everything. It would be unbelievably hard on me, but if this all doesn't clear up, I'm moving back to New York." Their heads were low and they were looking at the ground until I said the last sentence.

Their heads sprung up and their eyes got wide. Bam opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Do either of you have anything to say now?" They quickly looked to each other and back to me. The room was silent and still for a second. They quickly reached towards each other and hug. I knew they were only doing it to break the tension and possibly make me laugh and would have just talked it out if I had left the room.

Once they pulled away they smiled and looked at me. "So every things okay?" I asked smiling. They nodded and smiled back.

"Holy shit." I said looked at the clock next to my bed. I hadn't noticed it was already 11. "Despite the fact that I've been asleep for three weeks, I'm really tired." I joked. They smiled a bit and stood up. "I'll see you when you get home tomorrow." Ryan smiled leaning down. He hugged me and kissed my cheek. "I'll see you then." I smiled watching him walk out the door. "Later, Bam." He said walking out the door. "Later, Dunn." Bam smiled looking to Ryan and back to me.

He sat down next to me in the chair Ryan had been in. He took my hand in his and leaned in to kiss me. "Goodnight." He said when he pulled away. "No, Bam." I watched as his smiled faded.

"What?" He asked confused. "You're not sleeping here tonight." He wrinkled his face. "Why?" He said squeezing my hand a bit. "You've slept in that uncomfortable chair for three weeks. You can barely sleep and you're starting to get bags under your eyes. I want you to go home and go to sleep. You can come get me in the morning."

"I don't want to leave you." He mumbled brushing the hair out of my face. "Look at me," I laughed. "Nothing is going to happen. I'll fall asleep as soon as you leave and when I wake up we can leave here and go home." I smiled.

"Okay." He said standing up. He put his hand on my cheek and leaned in to kiss me. The kiss lasted for minutes and when he pulled away, I had wished we weren't in a hospital. "I love you Karli. You really have no idea how much you mean to me." He said with a half-smile on my face and his blue eyes staring down at me. He was beautiful.

"I love you too." I smiled. He began to turn around and our hands fell away from each other's. He looked back another time before opening the door and walking out.

I turned off the lights and put my head down gently on my pillow. I pulled up my black fleece blanket Brittany had brought me my first week in the hospital up to my neck.

I began to smile at my thoughts. Soon I began to cry at them. Happy tears.

I was unbelievably happy at that moment. I was okay after the accident. And Ryan was okay. I had gotten Bam to forgive Ryan, and they were best friends again. I had gotten to see Brittany for the first time since I left for New York, and we too were best friends again. I had the most amazing people who felt like my own family, and they cared enough about me to come to a hospital every day, or sleep next to me in a chair for three weeks. I loved and I was loved back. I knew Bam and I had problems in the past but we worked past them. I knew we'd have problems in the future because there's no such thing as perfect. But I didn't want perfect. I wanted Bam, and every flaw he had. We were going to work out. And we'd have amazing people like Ryan and Brittany and Johnny to be with us along the way.

I soon forced myself to fall into a dreamless sleep.

_

The next morning, I woke up with a note and an outfit with shoes next to my bed. The note read : "Getting coffee for us. Brittany picked out an outfit for you. You can change in the bathroom, or wait for me to help you when I get back." I laughed and picked up the clothes and a bag that was with them filled with a brush and make up.

I put on the dark purple ruffled tank top and gray skinny-jeans. I then slipped on the brown boots and walked to the mirror. My dark brown hair looked so bad I was almost glad Bam wasn't there to see it.

I wet my hair a bit and began to brush it back to its natural straightness. I put eyeliner on and a bit of black eyeshadow.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door and immediately walked to open it. "You couldn't wait for me?" Bam frowned. I laughed and put my arms around his neck. "Believe me; tonight you'll be doing more than just seeing anything." I smiled and his jaw nearly dropped. "We need to hurry the fuck up then." He laughed nearly pulling away.

"Not just yet." I pulled him back and pulled him down to me for an intense passionate kiss. I pulled away and backed up a step. His eyes stayed close for a brief second. "Okay, now we really need to hurry the fuck up." We laughed and began to get all my stuff from the room.

_

After packing my balloons, flowers and the rest of the things in my room into Bam's Hummer we were finally set to leave. Bam got in the driver's seat and put his hand towards the radio until his phone rang. I got a quick look at the caller ID. The call was restricted. "I have to take this." He said and began to walk out of the car.

Before he was completely out I heard an automated voice say: "Would you like to take a collect call from: Brandon Novak." The voice that pronounced the name was human. I immediately recognized the name from video's with Bam.

I didn't know a lot about Brandon Novak, but what I did know about him, I didn't like.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen.**

Bam walked back to the Hummer with no expression on his face. "Are you okay?" I asked playing with my hair. "Uh," He hesitated. "Yeah. Everything's fine. My friend Brandon Novak is getting out of jail tomorrow and he wanted to make sure I was picking him up." He said starting the car.

"Oh," I nodded. "Where do you have to take him?" I asked turning down the radio. "Not too far away." I was confused. "Well, how long? I mean, I thought we could go out somewhere tomorrow or something." He stopped the car and frowned.

"He's coming to our house." My face got wrinkled and my eyes got wide. "You're kidding." I sat up in my seat and turned so my whole body was facing him.

"I'm sorry, he's just getting out for possession of heroin and he needs some where to stay for a few weeks. Then he's out." I didn't want him around me before and now that I knew he had done heroin I couldn't let it happen. Bam had no idea, but I was hiding a past from him I had been trying to forget.

I sat back in my seat with no expression but my arms were crossed. Bam didn't notice until we were five minutes from home. He pulled the car over and put it in park.

"What are you doi-" He pulled me by my shoulders into a kissed me hard. It lasted about 15 seconds. As soon as he pulled away I could feel myself starting to blush. Without looking at me he put the car in neutral and began to drive. I began to smile.

Bam looked over to me. "What're you smiling about?" I bit my lip through my smile. "Earlier," I paused. "You said 'our house'." We laughed. "Technically it's yours, mine and my parents. But we're living there until they get back." He smiled. "After that we're going to live at the Castle." I smiled but it quickly faded.

"What about Brittany?" I asked as we pulled in the drive way.

"I guess we'll see about that when Ape and Phil come back." I nodded and looked at Ryan, Brittany, Johnny and Steve-O standing next to the garage holding a 'Welcome Home' banner. Ryan and Brittany were holding a bottle of vodka and there were 24 packs of beer scattered around them.

I looked at Bam smiling. "Did you know about this?" He shook his head laughing. "No, but what better way to come back?" I laughed. "True. Obviously tonight we're getting shit faced, but do you think that we could go out and talk sometime soon?" He drove past the house and parked next to Brittany's truck.

"I know you have to get Novak tomorrow and that's fine. But the next day or that night? Anytime?" I added. "Sure." He smiled. Before getting out of the car I pulled him by his jacket and quickly kissed him.

As soon as I stepped out of the car I was greeted by Ryan, Brittany, Johnny and Steve-O. They all hugged me until I got to Steve-O who was hiding something behind his back.

"Oh god. What do you have?" I asked. He took a wrapped box and handed it to me. "Welcome Home." He smiled. "It's from all of us." I smiled and covered my nose and mouth. "This is so sweet. I love you guys." I said smiling and looked at each of them.

Bam walked around and leaned on the Hummer and placed his arm around me. I took my hands away from my face and quickly smiled at him before taking the present.

Took the wrapping paper off and opened the box. It was a bottle of the Mexican liquor and two framed pictures. One of me and everyone that we had taken the day Steve-O and Johnny got to West Chester. And one of me and Bam a few days before I had left for New York.

"Oh my god. You guys are fucking amazing." I smiled and began to tear up. Steve-O hugged me and I hugged everyone else for the second time.

"I loved the 'Welcome Home' banner too." I laughed. "Wait until you get inside." Brittany smirked.

Johnny covered my eyes as Ryan opened the door. As soon as Johnny's hands left my face I looked to nearly a hundred people before me yelling "Welcome home Karli!"

I smiled and looked to every one of their faces and didn't recognize one. I didn't mind, meeting new people was one of the things I loved.

Ryan, Brittany and Johnny began pushing me towards the booze table while my legs were barely moving. I turned back to look for Bam, who was no longer there. I turned back to the table I had finally reached. Bam was there handing me a beer. "How about we open your little present now?" Brittany smiled. "Later. I want to remember atlas the beginning of this party." I laughed taking the beer from Bam and taking a giant drink.

"God I missed this." I smiled. "Missed what?" Johnny smiled back. "Drinking!" I yelled. We all laughed, "And you guys. So much." I smiled at all of them. "To us!" Ryan yelled raising his shot of whiskey. We all looked at each other briefly and raised our drinks to toast. We all then took a shot sized drinks of our beers or actual shots.

_

Many shots of my Mexican present, beers and vodka later I was gone. Gone meaning wasted, shit faced and every other word alike. Ryan was in a bathroom throughout the house while his throw up was all over the back porch. Brittany had taken a random back home. Steve-O was asleep in the chair across from me and Johnny was next to me on the couch sleeping.

We fell asleep sitting down which I normally could never do.

I looked throughout the room for Bam, who I soon realized was nowhere to be found. His phone was under the pillow of my couch. I heard the text-tone ring and couldn't help but read. I was his girlfriend and doubted he would mind.

Novak's bitch – Caroline: 'I hope you know what you're getting into with Brandon. The only thing that can save him is rehab, something he won't do. You wonder why I won't take him back. Bam, you were good to him when he got caught last year. Don't get yourself into his shit again. He doesn't deserve you. Don't let him take advantage of you again.'

Drunk as I was, the message came through. I heard a door open across the hall and immediately put Bam's phone back. I got back into the position I was in and pretended to sleep. He walked up to me.

"Can't believe you fell asleep." He smiled gently kissing my forehead. I pretended to wake up. "Hey." I smiled. He smiled down to me without saying anything and I immediately remembered what I had told him in the hospital room. "I almost forgot." I laughed standing up. He raised an eyebrow but kept the smile on his face as I took his hand and walked up the stairs.

I pulled him down to the bed and grabbed a small bag of clothes and went to the bathroom. "Wait just one second." I walked in and closed the door behind me for about five minutes. I changed into a gray lingerie with black lace covering my average sized breasts and the outline of the lingerie and 4 inch black heels. I wet my hair an scrunched it a bit I towel dried it quickly and fixed my makeup.

I opened the door slowly and looked at Bam who looked back with his jaw dropped and his beer nearly dropping out of his hand. "Holy fucking shit." He mumbled. He put his beer down and stood up.

I took off his tan long sleeve shirt and gently pushed him down on the bed. I began to make out with him as I pulled my hands down his warm muscled stomach. I unbuckled his pants and slid them off of him.

"I missed you so fucking much." Bam half-smiled.

* * *

**Chapter seventeen.**

I woke up the next morning with the blanket over my face and nothing on me. I pushed off the blankets and looked next to me for Bam, who wasn't there. "Shit." I mumbled putting my hand on my head. I wrapped the blanket around me until I could find something to wear.

I slipped on underwear and a bra before putting on a dark blue and black flannel shirt that's arms went to my elbows over a white tank top. I left the top four buttons undone and pulled up low-rise dark jeans and black Vans.

Before going to the bathroom to take an Advil and do my hair someone knocked on the door. "Come in." I breathed. It was Ryan. He was still in the same clothes from last night. "Morning." He smiled. I said nothing but smiled back.

"Well you're just a joy in the morning, even though it's 1." He said sarcastically. "Hangover." I paused. "How are you so joyful after a night of drinking, anyway?" I laughed wetting my hair. "I've been up for hours; my headache went away 30 minutes before I walked into your room."

"Well, I-" I paused pressing my hand over my mouth. I quickly stepped to the toilet only 2 feet away. I got to my knees and began to throw up. "Ry-" I began to say before I threw up again. He quickly ran over and pulled my hair from my face and held it behind my head. I sat back against the wall.

"Fuck me." I whipped my mouth with a towel. Ryan flushed the toilet and sat down next to me against the wall. "Feel like going to get coffee and breakfast?" He asked. I smiled as he stood up and reached down to help me up. "Give me a few minutes to do my hair." He nodded and walked to the bed to sit down. "Oh. And Ryan?" I stepped back to the door so he could see me. "I'm driving." I smiled. He rolled his eyes and laughed.

After I was ready we walked out to Ryan's new car. "I guess the Porsche couldn't be fixed?" I got into the driver's seat and put my seatbelt on. He shook his head and frowned. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." I started the car. "No, don't be. Really." He forced a smile.

"So, changing the subject, where's Bam?" I drove to the stop sign. "Getting shitty fuckin' Novak." I laughed. "What, you don't like him?" He shook his head. "Why?" I drove onto the highway. "He's a heroine shooting, pill popping, cock sucking douche bag." I laughed again. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yes!" He yelled. "Oh, and turn right here." I giggled. "After breakfast, we have to talk." I pulled into the restaurant parking lot. "About?" He asked opening the car door and stepping out. "I'll tell you then. " I said following him inside.

_

When we were done with dinner, Ryan suggested we drove to the woods across from a park him, Bam and Jess went to when they were in high school. We pulled into the parking lot in front of the park and then walked to the middle of the woods.

I followed him until he stopped in an open area between the trees. He sat down on a recently fallen down tree. "Before you start, could I say something?" He asked. I nodded and sat next to him. "I wanted to thank you." He said taking my hand closest to him. "Thank me for what?" I smiled. "Everything," He paused. "If it weren't for you, I'd be dead right now. You told me to put my seatbelt on, and if I hadn't listened, I wouldn't have made it. You saved me from losing my brother. You make me feel like I'll always have someone there for me, no matter what stupid shit I do." I began to tear up. "Ryan, I'll always be here for you. No matter what." I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. "I love you." I breathed. "I love you too."

He pulled away and stood up. "So what did you want to say?" He smiled. "Do you think Novak will still do heroine we gets to Bam's?" I whipped the tears away. "I know he will. He always does." I bit my lip. There was a few seconds where everything was silent except for the birds chirping and the leaves blowing.

"Why do you ask?" I took a step closer to him. "There's a lot about me you and Bam don't know," I began. "Back when I dated Jason, him and his friends would buy and sell pills, pot and heroine. I didn't know until we had dated for 4 months. That was around the time he started hitting me. One day I walked in on him cheating on me and I tried to end the relationship," I paused sitting down on the tree.

"He hit me a few times and put a needle in my arm," I realized I had begun to cry and Ryan was whipping the tears from my face. "I guess he thought I'd forget he'd cheated on me, or forget that he hit me or some shit. But I didn't. I knew if I told anyone the police he had hit me, he'd kill me, or have someone else do it for him. I started doing the heroine with him and his friends until they all trusted me. Even though I did whatever Jason wanted he never stopped hitting me. After a few months I told the police everything, all of Jason's friends got arrested but no matter where they looked they couldn't find him. That's why came after me a few weeks ago."

I leaned into Ryan's shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me. "Now they're all gone in jail, but I paid my own price. I was addicted to the heroine and I had to go through rehab. It took me months to finally get off of it. The bruises finally went away and my life was good again. But nothing in the world has or could ever make me as happy as I am with you guys." I smiled looking up into Ryan's eyes.

"I'm speechless." He choked. "Don't worry. You don't have to say anything." I leaned up to Ryan's face and kissed his cheek. We stood up and he hugged me tightly for at least 3 minutes.

We began to walk back to the car. "I have to tell Bam, don't I?" I asked as we stepped into the car. "I really think you should. Especially with Novak coming." I nodded. "The whole reason I feel the need to tell him is because Novak's coming. I can't be around that shit again Ryan." My phone vibrated:

Bam: I've been home for an hour now. Where are you?

Karli: Out with Ryan. We're on our way back.

"Look, if you talk to Bam and he kicks Novak out, then good. But, Bam's known Novak since he was 13. Bam would obviously choose you over anyone. But let's just say he lets Novak stay as long he doesn't do heroine, what are you going to do?" I started the car as the question echoed in my head.

"I honestly have no idea." I mumbled driving onto the highway. "What do you think I should do?" I asked briefly looking over to him. "I think that you should do whatever you feel." He paused. "But if you wanted to, maybe you and me could go on a road trip." The light in front of me had gone red and I looked over to him smiling.

"Where would we go" I giggled. "Anywhere you wanted." He smiled back at me as the light turned green. I turned on the exit that took me home.

"Here we go." Ryan mumbled as we pulled into the driveway.

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen.**

I walked to the front door of mine and Brittany's house while Ryan walked to Bam's. Walking in the woods had made me feel disgusting and I was in desperate need of a shower.

I looked for Brittany in nearly every room in the house until I found her asleep in the upstairs bathroom. "Britt, wake up." I laughed pushing her shoulder. "Oh my god," She growled under her breath. "Come on," I smiled helping her up and letting her lean on me as I walked her to her room she had decorated in pictures and zebra print accessories.

"I'll make you some coffee. I love what you did with the room." I smiled laying her on her bed. "And a bucket." She whispered as I walked out the door.

After making coffee and getting in the shower, Brittany was feeling better. I changed into a tight t-shirt with a small black heartagram at the right hip that Bam had purposely given me in the smallest size available, and dark jeans. I was pulling up my brown boots as Brittany walked in.

"Can I show you something?" She smiled. I nodded and followed her into a room down the hall. Before opening the door, she stopped and looked too me. "This I understand the whole thing with you and Bam. I'm really happy for you. When Bam moves out of his house, I won't get mad if you go with him, but I've got a suggestion. We could keep this house, rent it out to people and come back everyone once in a while. If Bam's okay with it, and there's enough room, we could all live in the Castle." We smiled.

"Of course!" I hugged her tightly. "Well, until then, this rooms yours, if you ever want to stay here." She smiled opening the door.

The room was white. The pictures everyone had given to me last night were on the wall. My mattress and bed stand from my old house in New York was in the left corner of the room with a black and white bedspread. I had 3 bags full of clothes I had forgotten I had brought with me in the right corner next to a closet and next to my bed was a picture of me and Brittany in the 8th grade, me and Bam the first night we met and me and Bam a few days before I left for New York.

"Oh my god. Brittany this is the sweetest thing you've ever done! Thank you so much." I smiled hugging her again. "Don't thank me. You're my best friend." She paused "Now, I know you didn't get all prettied up for me." She smiled pulling away. "Go see him, I'll be over later." I nodded and quickly walked down the stairs. "It's cold out. Run fast!" She laughed. I smiled down the stairs until my text-tone went off.

Bam: Where the fuck are you?

"What the hell?" I murmured walking out the door. I smiled when I saw Ryan sitting on the steps of April and Phil's house. As soon as I was 3 feet away from the steps he stood up and stopped me from moving any further.

"You don't want to go in there." He said placing his hang gently on my arm. "Why?" I asked backing up. "Just, don't." Suddenly, there was a loud bang from inside the house. We both ran through the door to see what had happened.

We looked to the floor to see Bam, Novak and a random I didn't know. "Oh my god." Ryan said sitting in the recliner in the living room. The three hadn't stopped laughing since we walked through the door. They all slowly stood up. I then realized the Novak was naked. "Well damn. Who's this lovely thing?" Novak laughed looking me up and down. "Mine." Bam laughed. "What the hell did-" Bam put both of his hands on my butt and kissed me hard. His hands quickly went to the bottom of my shirt in an attempt to pull it up.

"Bam!" I yelled pushing him off me. "What?" He said whipping his mouth. "I just wanted to show Novak how sexy my girlfriend is." The two laughed. "I can see from here," Novak said taking a step towards me. "When can I have a go?" Ryan stood up and walked next to me. "Maybe tonight the three of us can-"

My jaw dropped. "Stay the fuck away from me. All three of you." I yelled taking a step back. I looked into Bam's face and immediately knew something was up. He wasn't being himself.

"I knew it," I whispered. "I fucking knew it. I knew when you came here this would happen. You're fucking high, aren't you?" Bam tried walking towards me. "Don't." I whipped the tears from my cheeks.

I took Ryan's hand and walked upstairs to Bam's room. I locked the door behind us and sat on the bed crying. "Please don't cry." He put his hand down to help me up. "Thank you." I wrapped my arms around him. My phone ringing interrupted the moment. It was Brittany.

Karli: Hello?

Brittany: I'm sorry, but I won't be coming over tonight. My Mom had a heart attack. I fell asleep and my sister couldn't get ahold of me so she just came here. I'm on my way to New York now.

Karli: Oh my god! I'm so sorry, I hope she's okay!

Brittany: I really need to stay in New York for a while to be with my family. I'm sorry. I really have to talk to my sister, but I had to let you know. I'll talk to you later.

Karli: Alright. I- Hello? Hello?

I put my phone back in my pocket and packed the rest of my stuff. Ryan carried two medium bags while I carried a medium and small one. I had Ryan go downstairs before me so I could make sure I left nothing at Bam's.

I walked downstairs to see Bam standing by the door. "C'mon Karli. You-" I stopped him and opened the door. "Don't. Just don't." I walked out the door attempting to shut the door behind me. I began walking backwards to hear what he was saying. "Fine then. Go. Leave. But don't expect me to call you and ask for you back." He then slammed the door shut. I turned around quickly and ran into Ryan who was right behind me.

I immediately dropped my bags and cried into his shoulder. He put one of his hands behind me head and the other was rubbing my back. "Let's leave." I whispered. He pulled his head back to look at me. "What do you mean?" I backed up and picked up my bags. "Let's get the hell out of here. Tomorrow. Like you said we would. I don't care where we go, I just want to leave." I walked through the door and dropped my things in the living room and walked to the couch.

Ryan sat next to me letting me lean on him. "Ryan, can you do me a favor?" I looked up to his bright eyes. "Sure." He looked down at me. "Stay up with me?" I asked. "We can talk about anything." He smiled. "I'd love to."

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen.**

I woke up to the sun beaming in between the red curtains Brittany had put up. I blinked my eyes a few times until my vision was clear. I looked down to see a black blanket covering me but not the legs next to mine. I looked up to see Ryan, still asleep. His arm cradled behind my back and my hand gently in the middle of his chest.

I then remembered that Ryan and I had slept together. Not sex, just sleep. In my attempt not to wake him I gently laid my head back on his arm. I smiled as I inhaled his cologne. A few seconds later I realized my attempt had failed and Ryan was groaning and stretching his available arm. I pretended as if I was just then waking up before looking up to him as he smiled down on me. "Morning." He said in a sleepy voice. "Morning." I smiled back.

He stood up and I followed him to the kitchen dropping my blanket on the end table. "You know we had a whole pot of coffee last night?" He laughed. "Seriously?" I laughed watching him fill up the coffee pot. "We we're up 'till four. I'll be surprised if we ever have anything to talk about again." We laughed as I got the coffee cups out of the cabinet.

I sat at the small table in the corner of the kitchen. I took my phone out of my pocket and placed in on the table. Ryan sat across from me fiddling with his cup. My phone lit up and vibrated. I looked up to Ryan.

"You crashed before me and I didn't want that.." he paused. "That asshole who I won't name waking you up." I smiled looking down at my phone. "You know that asshole who we won't name? Yeah, it's him." Ryan pushed his cup away and gave me his full attention as I read the message out loud to him.

Bam: I saw that your lights were on late last night so I didn't want to come over if you were asleep. Johnny and Steve-O told me what I did last night. I want to tell you how sorry I am to your face instead of over the phone. Please come over when you're awake. I love you.

I frowned while Ryan laughed extremely loud. "Show that asshole how you felt last night. Make him feel like shit, cause right now, that's all he deserves." I began to text him back when Ryan stopped me. "Wait until I get my stuff and we're on our way to wherever we're going." I laughed putting my phone down. "I'll make coffee. You can go get your things." I smiled watching him run to Bam's house.

Ryan came back with just a small bag in his hand. "That's all you're bringing?" I laughed. "Hey, this is enough to last me a month." He said taking a sip from his coffee. "I'm gonna get a shower really quick and then we can leave." He nodded finishing off the eggs and bacon I made us.

After the shower I blow dried my hair and put eyeliner on with some black eye shadow and mascara. I changed into a black t-shirt, a navy blue jacket and dark jeans. I was putting on my black skating shoes when Ryan yelled for me downstairs.

"Karli!" He yelled. I opened the door walking two steps down the stairs. "What?" I yelled back. "Some guys are here with your car. They need your signature. I walked downstairs with my left shoe on and the other in my hand.

When I walked past Ryan I tossed my shoe at him before taking the pen out of the delivery man's hand. "Thank you." I smiled. "Can you just back her up into the driveway?" I asked giving him his pen and taking my shoe from Ryan. "Sure. We'll have you check her for scratches before we leave." I sat on the stairs and put my other shoe on. I walked upstairs and got my makeup and hair things.

Ryan helped me bring my stuff outside to the car. As soon as he stepped out the door he dropped the bags and his jaw dropped. "What?" I smiled looking back at him. He picked the bags up and ran to the car. "I guess Bam's not the only one with a Lamborghini on this road." I laughed.

He touched the door of the car. "Yeah, but Bam doesn't have a 2012 Lamborghini Aventador." I laughed looking around the gray car for scratches. "She looks good. Thanks!" I yelled to the man as he got in his car and drove away.

"You've gotta let me drive her." He looked to me putting the bags in the back. "I'll let you drive a mile up the road. You can't go fast though." He shrugged his shoulders. "But you can go fast past Bam's." I winked at him. Ryan revved the car's engine to get Bam to notice the noise. He then backed up out of the driveway and shot up down the road.

Ryan was a good driver; he just drove way too fast. Ryan began playing with my radio until he got to my second CD. "Oh my god, you've got a lambo and you have amazing taste in music?" We laughed turning up the radio. After Ryan had his turn of driving he pulled over to switch seats. "You can text Bam now." He reminded me.

Karli: Don't lie to me. Didn't you tell me last night you wouldn't come apologizing to me? Or maybe that was the alcohol and heroine talking. I can't believe you would say that stuff to me. I can't believe you'd do heroine! You're unbelievable.

Karli: Ryan and I are going on a road trip. Don't ask where, and don't go looking for us. I'll be back in a few weeks and maybe then we can talk. No promises.

I read the message out loud to Ryan while he laughed nonstop for 5 minutes. "He just texted me." He said without an expression. "What did he say?" I asked buckling my seatbelt.

Bam (To Ryan): You're her friend so I'm not gonna get pissed at you. Just please don't hook up with her when you two are drunk or something. Remember, you're my friend too.

Ryan frowned without saying a word. After buckling his seat belt we finally drove off.

_

After we got to the edge of Ohio before stopping at a hotel. "After we leave Ohio, what's next?" I said through the bathroom door as I changed into sweatpants. "I don't want to go far west. Feel like going to Virginia afterwards?" I walked out of the bathroom smiling. "Sure." Ryan got in his bed and I got in mine, turning off my phone in an attempt to ignore Bam's nonstop text messages. I didn't get his messages but I couldn't ignore him. I was happy to be with Ryan away from everything in West Chester, but Bam never left my mind that night.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty.**

The night before I had been thinking about Bam non-stop, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him out of my head until I finally fell asleep. I had no dreams. Everything was black but it sounded as if people were all around me. I heard Brittany's voice, Johnny, Steve-O and Bam's too. They were yelling at him for what he did. Every time they finished all he said was "I'm sorry."

I woke up at 10. My pillow and blanket were on the ground but the sheet was over me. I turned my body over to look for Ryan. His bed was a mess but all that was there was a note.

Gone out to get breakfast. Didn't want to wake you. Be back around 10. –Ryan.

I set the note back on the table and walked in the bathroom for a quick shower.

Ryan had come back just before I stepped out of the shower. I brushed through my hair and towel dried it until it was barely damp. I put on a white top, ripped skinny jeans and brown boots.

Ryan was putting the food on the table when I walked out. "I hope you're hungry." He said sitting down and exposing all of the food he had gotten. "I'm starved. Why so much?" I laughed. "Apparently the girl working at the buffet loves Jackass. She said if I signed something for her she'd double my order. I figured we'd need something for the ride." I smiled sitting down.

"Looks like I'm hanging out with a celebrity." I laughed. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm no celebrity. I just do stupid shit to be funny and apparently people like it."

"By the way, checkout's at 11, so eat quick." He smiled biting into his eggs.

While we were packing our things I figured I'd turn on my phone to see if Brittany had called.

She hadn't. Bam had. 8 times and 23 texts.

Bam: Call me. Please.

Bam: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up.

Bam: I love you more than anything.

Bam: I feel like shit. Can we just talk?

And more just like them. He had only left one voice mail despite how many times he called. I stepped outside to the balcony before listening to it.

"Karli, I know you don't want to talk to me but we do need to talk. I'm realizing through all this how much you mean to me… Karli, I don't think I just love you anymore. I'm in love with you. Please call me."

His accent flowed through every word, making me miss him even more than before. The voicemail really got to me, causing me to actually dial Bam's number.

"Karli?" He answered. "Hi Bam." I mumbled. "Oh my god, Karli!" His voice bounced up. "Bam, I'm calling because of your voice mail." I bit my lip. "It's true. Every word." I sat down in the chair placing my hand on my forehead. "Bam, you've done amazing things for me. But you can't expect me to just forgive you so easily. Last time I left, I came home. For you. Because you told me you'd never hurt me like that again. And here we are. Barely even a month later and where am I? Gone." My lip quivered as I fought the tears from flowing down my face. "It will be different this time. The girl is gone, Novak's gone. I promise." He sobbed through the phone. "That's what you said last time." I mumbled ending the call.

I whipped the tears that had escaped my fight as they gently fell down my cheek. Ryan knocked on the glass door before cracking it open. "You okay?" He asked leaning his head on the door. "Yeah." I nodded faking a small smile.

"It's time to go." He opened the door wide enough for me to get through. We walked down to check out with our bags and left for Ohio.

_

After Ryan showed me his old house, old church and everything else he had enjoyed while he was young.

"Feel like going to a hotel or taking naps as we drive?" He asked pulling over. I had let him drive two miles this time. "I'm wide awake, but we should get coffee and we can both drive until we can't anymore." He nodded turning down the music and closing his eyes.

After we finally reached Virginia Ryan had been driving for two hours and it was time for us both to get some sleep. The sun was starting to come up and we'd only be able to sleep for 3 hours.

I had barely closed my eyes for five minutes when I got a call from Johnny. "Karli? Karli! Oh my god. Where are you?!" He yelled. "Virginia. What's going on?" I mumbled sitting up in the seat. "It's Bam. He's hurt. Get back to West Chester as soon as you can." My heart sank. "Oh my god. I'll be there as soon as I can."

I jumped out of the car and ran to the driver's seat. I pushed Ryan awake. "Ryan, we've got to get back to West Chester now." He scrambled out of the car and quickly walked to the passenger seat. "What's going on?" He asked pushing his fingers through his hair. "Bam." I bit my lip.

Through the trip back to West Chester everything crossed my mind. Bam could have gotten in a car accident. He could have hurt himself or gotten drunk and fallen or gotten in a fight or anything. "Ryan," I mumbled. "What if this is my fault?" I mumbled driving into the hospital.

"It's not your fault. We don't even know what happened yet." He opened the door and quickly got out of the car. We ran towards the hospital and up the elevator to the room Bam was in.

My heart raced with fear and I felt it nearly skip a beat when we finally stepped off the elevator.

* * *

**Chapter twenty-one.**

As soon as we walked onto the floor Bam was on, I was greeted by Johnny, with Steve-O right behind him. I lunged towards Johnny and wrapped my hand around his arm. "Johnny, what happened?" I whispered with my voice crackling. "Come sit down," He turned. "Both of you."  
We quickly followed behind Johnny and Steve-O until we got to the chairs outside of Bam's room where we saw April and Phil. Phil waved to me with a frown on his face. April laid with her head on his shoulder sleeping.  
I sat down with Johnny and Ryan while Steve-O sat next to Phil. I clutched Ryan's hand in mine, expecting the worst.  
"Now tell me, what the hell happened?" I croaked. "Steve-O and I were talking to Bam about how much of an ass he had been to you. When you called him, he ran outside and slammed the door behind him before he answered. We couldn't hear exactly what he said, but through the curtains we saw his phone being thrown on the ground and smashed, so I'm guessing that didn't go well?" He paused. My face got hot.  
"He came back inside and pretended nothing happened. We completely ignored the whole him smashing his phone thing and thought you two had made up. He told us he had an idea for a stunt and that he'd go set it up and come for us when he was done. When he finally did come for us we came outside to see his four-wheeler in front of a ramp in front of a tree." I squeezed Ryan's hand tightly.  
"He told us he wanted it to be a 'Mini Skit' and that we could use one of his cameras. And the rest, I have on tape for you guys to watch. It's really hard to tell you." He handed me the camera and me and Ryan walked to an empty hallway.  
"Are you going to be okay?" Ryan asked turning on the camera.  
I took out my hand and put it in is and nodded.  
He played the video. Bam rode the four-wheeler up the ramp as fast as it would go and rammed it into the tree. The four-wheeler flipped, bark went flying as did Bam.  
I gasped raising my hang over my mouth. I then brought my other hand up and covered my face. Ryan closed the camera and hugged me tight.  
"It's my fault." I cried into his chest. "No. It's not." He whispered brushing his fingers through my hair.  
As I began to pull away from Ryan, Steve-O ran around the corner. "He's up," I whipped my eyes, my heart rate still beating fast. "And he wants to see you." He said pointing at me.  
I took a step back from Ryan as Steve-O walked away. "Go." Ryan half-smiled quickly hugging me again. I smiled back and began to walk to Bam's room.  
As soon as I walked in my heart dropped to my stomach. I first noticed the white wrap around his head with the lowest point on his left eyebrow. My eyes then targeted his leg which was up in a cast, and then his arm that was cut up from the trees.  
I walked over brushing my fingers through my hair and whipping under my eyes one last time.  
I sat in the chair on Bam's right while he starred blank to the plain wall on his left. "Bam," I said taking his hand. He swung around and he starred at me with his baby blue eyes. "Karli!" He squealed as he attempt to sit up.  
He quickly raised his hand to his head and wrinkled his face. "Babe, it's okay." I smiled standing up and gently laying him back down. "I'm so happy to see you." He smiled back. I took his hand in mine.  
"Hey," I paused looking to our intertwined hands and back to him. "You stayed with me for three weeks when I was asleep. I think I can stay for a few days while you're awake." I laughed.  
"I need to tell you that I'm really sorry for-" I shook my head interrupting him. "Shhh." I smiled. "I don't want to hear it. We're fine, and it's forgotten." He smiled back at me as I leaned in to kiss him.  
I wasn't pulling away until he was, therefor; the kiss lasted for a long time. It was only interrupted when someone knocked on the door. It was April with Phil behind her, both with smiles on their faces. "Hi sweetheart." She smiled walking over to the left side of him.  
"Hey Ape." She kissed his forehead as Phil stood behind her smiling. "Ape, Phil, this is Karli. Karli, this is my parents." I stood up and reached out my hand. "Nice to meet you." April smiled taking my hand. Phil did the same. "It's really nice to finally meet you guys." I smiled.

After about an hour, Phil and April said their goodbyes to Bam and me before going home. Steve-O and Johnny came in and talked to Bam before also heading home. Ryan was just then finishing his goodbyes.  
"Thanks for taking care of her when I couldn't, Dunn." Bam smiled as Ryan leaned down to hug him. "No problem." He smiled winking at me.  
I smiled and walked Ryan to the door. "Give me a minute." I said to Bam before walking out and shutting the door behind Ryan and me. "Really, thank you." I said hugging him tightly. "When are you gonna realize you're my best friend and I enjoy spending time with you?" I put my head back and kissed his cheek. "Now." I laughed hugging him again.  
I pulled away breathing in deeply. "I'll see you tomorrow?" I smiled. "Maybe." He winked. I watched him until the elevator doors closed in front of him, smiling to myself.  
I walked back into the room to find Bam asleep. I covered him with the home-made quilt April had brought him. I kissed his four head and whispered, "I love you." to him before sitting down and taking his hand in mine as I fell asleep, like he did for me those three weeks I had been asleep.  
Bam had problems, and I did too. We we're working on them. And I was happy. Not just because we'd be working on our problems, but because we'd be working on them together.

* * *

**Chapter twenty-two**

Bam had spent a little over two weeks in the hospital due to his head injury. His scars were gone and his leg was starting to heal. The scar on his head was gone and doctors confirmed that there was no damage to his brain.

Today was the last day me and Bam would be at the hospital. We were going back to Bam's parent's house for a few nights and then we'd move into the castle.

"Karli," I heard someone mumble. "Karli, this is the last- you know what, fuck it." I began to open my eyes to see a patch of white heading straight for my face nearly knocking me out of my chair on impact. I looked back up to see Ryan with a pillow in his hand laughing.

"You fucking asshole." I laughed rubbing my cheek. "Well I've only tried to wake you up ten times." He laughed leaning onto Bam's bed, where I also found Bam laughing. "It's so funny." I raised my eyebrow and stood up.

I grabbed the glass of water next to Bam's bed and raised it so all of the water inside landed on Ryan's head. He put his head down and smiled as the water came down through his hair to the tips of his beard before dripping off onto his shirt. "I deserved it." He laughed holding my close to his shirt.

"Ryan!" I yelled as the water made my shirt soaking wet. "We can leave when I'm done changing." I said taking my bag into the bathroom. "And Ryan, I know you hate hospitals, so I'll take as much time as I can." I winked before closing the door behind me.

I changed into a white tank top covered by a white t-shirt. Thankfully my black jeans had stayed dry.

"Thought you were taking a long time?" Ryan asked as I walked out of the bathroom. "You know I hate seeing my boyfriend in this place." I said putting Bam's things into a bag.

"And I know you do too." I paused. "So, you can help carry all the bags downstairs." I smiled handing him the two heaviest bags I could find.

Once Ryan was out the door I sat next to Bam who was still half-asleep. "You okay?" I asked opening the red bull from my purse. "Yeah, I just got out late last night." I took a drink and handed it to him. I quickly stood up to kiss him before he took a drink.

"So, who will be living with us in your house?" I said sitting back down. "Let me start by letting you know it's our house." He smiled watching me blush.

"Just me, you, Ryan, Johnny and Steve-O. For now." He added. "Well, do you think maybe Brittany could live there too?" He wrinkled his face. "Of course, babe." He let out a small smile.

"Until when my leg heals." He said throwing away the empty can. "Wait- what?" I looked over to Ryan coming in and grabbing more bags. "Babe, we've got to go California and a shit lode of other places for Jackass." He said laughing.

"Shit, I forgot." I put my hand on my forehead. "Hey, maybe if Ryan talks to Jeff Brittany can come too." I nodded and grabbed the rest of the bags to take down stairs. "How long will we be gone?" I asked opening the door. "A few months," He paused. "Almost a year." He added.

"Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck." I mumbled as I walked to the elevator.

I met Ryan at the ground floor. "What the hell is your problem, shit fuck?" I bit my lip and put the bags in the back of the Hummer. "Could you ask Jeff if Brittany could come with us for Jackass?" I said slamming the door. "Sure. But if Bam's leg heals soon, I don't think she'll even be able to go."

We walked back to the hospital. "Why?" I stupidly asked calling the elevator. "Her mom?" He said following me into the elevator. "I just don't want her mad if I go. I came here with her and I've almost spent as much time with you and Bam since I've been here than I ever have with her." I stepped onto Bam's floor.

"She'll get over it. You've got to come with us." He laughed putting his arm around me. I looked up to his bright green eyes and smiled. "Alright." I smiled giving in. He stopped me from walking. "You'll come?" He smiled.

"Yes." I laughed as he picked me up and spun me in a few circles. "Ryan!" he laughed putting me back on the floor. "What? I'm excited." He said opening the door.

"She's coming with us to film." Ryan smiled to Bam. "Really?" Bam said smiling back. I kissed him quickly as Ryan and I tried helping him up onto his crutches. "Yes," I smiled as Ryan wrapped Bam's arm around him and helping him to the end of his bed where I was waiting with his crutches.

Ryan slowly drove us home as Bam and I sat in the back.

We pulled up to Ape and Phil's to see Johnny, Steve-O and Phil sitting on the bench out front and April messing with flowers in the garden.

"Ryan parked the car and Johnny walked up to the door to help Bam out. "You better heal up fast asshole. We need to start filming soon." Johnny mumbled to Bam as I handed him his crutches.

"And I expect to see you there?" Johnny smiled to me. "You will." I smiled back. "Seriously?" I nodded. "Maybe we can bring some of the liquor you like and put the videos of you behind the scenes." They all laughed. "I don't like that liquor. I just use it to get shitfaced." I said quite enough for April not to hear me.

"You're finally home." April smiled hugging Bam. "Nice to see you too, Karli." She said hugging me too. April and I had bonded throughout the days Bam was in the hospital.

"Only for a few days." April's smile faded. "I'm finally home to spend time with you and you're leavin' me?" She frowned. "Don't tell me I won't be able to see you either?" I leaned my head on Bam's shoulder. "I'm-"

"She's coming with us." Bam smiled interrupting me. "I'm sorry, April." A small smile showed on her face.

"Don't be sorry sweetie. Have fun, but don't get hurt." I let out a small laugh.

"Aw, we'd never hurt Karli." Bam winked putting his arm around me.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

I woke up at about 9 to my phone alarm going off. 'Bam's Doctors Appt. in 30 minutes'

"Shit." I mumbled under my breath. Had it already been two weeks? I began to put on a dark blue blouse with dark jeans and brown boots.

"Bam." I whispered as I shook his shoulder. "Babe, come on. You get your cast off today." He opened his eyes and wrinkled his face. "Fuck." He groaned.

Bam had been in a pissed off mood for over half of the two weeks he had been home. He couldn't have sex and April wouldn't let him drink his stress off. I sort of understood him, since he was a man. But it wasn't easy for me either.

"Don't be an ass today. April leaves for work in an hour and Phil left this morning. And I'm sure we can do something with Ryan, Johnny and Steve-O to get them out of the house." I smiled handing him his crutches from next to the bed. All of a sudden he woke up completely and for the first time in days I saw an actual smile on his face.

He changed his shirt and wore the same pants. I quickly brushed my hair while he walked to the car. He could now walk down the stairs by himself but he couldn't drive.

I grabbed my jacket and quickly went for the door. "Holy shit." I mumbled running into Ryan as he walked out of his room. "Whoa, are you okay?" He mumbled holding around my wrist. "Yeah, I'm late to Bam's appointment." He nodded and followed me down the stars and walked to the kitchen.

I opened the door before he called my name. "You guys should stop by the tattoo parlor at 1, maybe get yourself something." I smiled and thought my 4 tattoos: Freedom on my inner left upper arm in a 'typewriter font.' A heartagram on my right hip. My Mother's birth and death dates on the back of my neck and "Love's the only war worth dying for –Ville Valo." In small cursive on my lower back.

Though Bam had seen my without clothes on plenty of times, he had never seen my quote tattoo. I was a bit embarrassed for him to see it, considering the two were best friends.

I took Bam to his appointment where he got his cast off but was told to take it easy for a few days. "Guess this means you'll have to take it easy tonight." I winked at him letting him drive us to get coffee. "Don't even tease me like that." He half-smiled driving the car out of the parking lot

"Feel like taking me to get a tattoo? Ryan said to meet him there at 2 if we want too." I smiled as he handed me my coffee from the Starbucks drive through.

"Yes!" He said loudly driving onto the highway. "Why so excited about it?" I laughed. "You need something on you. You have nothing!" he laughed slowing down at the red light. "I have four, and five won't be the end of it." I smiled.

"Babe, you only have three?" He raised an eyebrow. "What are you hiding?" A smile began to grow on his face. "I can't-" I giggled as he grabbed my side. "Come on, babe. Please?" He looked up to me making a 'puppy-dog face.' It was his eyes and his accent that got me.

"Oh, fine." I smiled. I pulled up the back of my shirt. "Oh my god." His face went blank. He looked back to the road to see the light was still red. "What?" I frowned. "That is the-" he paused. "The hottest fucking tattoo I've ever seen." We both smiled at each other. "You think so? I thought you'd think it's weird." He drove into the parking lot of the tattoo parlor.

"As long as you don't like him more than me." He smiled taking out the keys of the car. "Not a chance." I smiled leaning to kiss him quickly before walking inside.

"Hey!" Ryan smiled sitting in the tattoo chair. "You two getting anything?" Ryan said wrinkling up his face as the guy tattooing him hit his ankle with the needle. "I promised Kat she'd do my next tattoo, but Karli is." I smiled.

"What're you gonna get?" Ryan said messing with his jeans to distract him from his ankle pain. "I'm not sure. Bam?" I looked over to him looking through the tattoo books. "Maybe another one about Ville?" He laughed looking to Ryan.

"What?" He laughed. Bam walked over and pulled up my shirt exposing my tattoo. "It's still-" Bam interrupted him. "Hot? Yeah." He laughed.

Ryan nodded and stood up too look at his tattoo. "Why the fuck-" Bam paused falling on the ground laughing. "What?" I walked over to where Bam was. "Why the fuck do you have a fucking dolphin on your ankle?" I laughed leaning on the wall.

Ryan laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "I know what I'm gonna get." I smirked walking to the tattoo chair.

After three hours, Ryan and Bam went to the store to get drinks for when we moved into Bam's house that night.

By the time they came back, I was done getting my tattoo and was putting my shirt back on.

"What did you get?" Bam smiled. I pulled the left side of the shirt over my head gently and then pulled off the right side. The tattoo said: 'And though the end is unknown, I think I'm ready, as long as you're with me.'

The tattoo was on my left upper back. When I turned around I was greeted by Bam's lips pushed hard against mine. "Do you like it?" I smiled. "I fucking love it almost as much as I love you." I blushed. "Good." I smiled walking to the door.

"Shit, my purse." Bam continued to walk to the car as I grabbed Ryan's wrist and pulled him to where my purse was. "It was really sweet of you to do that for Bam." He smiled. "Well," I bent down and pulled off my boots and pulled up my pants exposing a blue dolphin with a pink bow above its eye.

Ryan smiled brightly and hugged me tight laughing in my ear. "That's amazing!" He said backing up as I slipped my boot back on. "So are you, that's why it's there." I smiled. "Thanks for being there for me all the time. I love you, Ry." I kissed his cheek.

"I love you too. Now go. I'll help you guys move into the Castle and I'll get the guys out tonight." I walked to the door. "Thanks Ryan." I smiled running to the car watching him wave as he stepped into his while we were out of the parking lot.

_

We got all of the things we could carry of mine out of Brittany's and Bam's. It took us about an hour before finally leaving to get to Castle Bam.

I had seen pictures of Castle Bam before, but nothing can compare to when you really see it. The sun was setting making the only beams hitting the castle bright orange and pink, giving the brinks an even more flattering tone.

I had driven alone. Bam took his Hummer, I drove Ryan's car and let him drive my lambo to Bam's so we could both see Bam's reaction.

Being alone gave me the perfect moment to smile to myself. Thinking of all the times I had seen the Castle in Viva La Bam and knowing now that I'd be living there was insane to me.

Bam waved his hand out the Hummer window telling me to park Ryan's car in the garage. I walked out and followed Bam to the front yard. He placed his arm around me and sat the 24 pack of beer in the grass.

"Can you help bring in the alcohol, babe? We can bring in your stuff in the morning." I nodded quickly turning around and nearly tripping over my own feet.

"I'm taking one of my bags in." I yelled but realized he wasn't paying attention. I took in my bad and the bad with two bottles of Vodka, two bottles of my Mexican liquor and Miller Highlife.

"I'll bring the drinks in." Bam said taking the drinks from me. I followed him inside and threw my bag on the floor and walked back out to see Ryan just pulling up.

I smiled to him as he pulled the Lambo up to the garage door and parked it. "Bam, get your ass out here!" Ryan laughed closing the door. "Took you a while to get here." I joked leaning on his arm. "Well, I had a little fun." He smiled down to me.

Bam walked outside and looked to the car. "Holy shit!" He raised his hands and opened his mouth and eyes wide. "Ryan, when did you get this?" He smiled walking around her car. "It's not mine." Ryan laughed pointing at me. "No." Bam smiled. "Yes." He quickly walked up to me and spun me around.

"Can I drive it?" I laughed as he held me in the air. "Of course." I barely finished before Bam pressed his lips against mine and put me back on the ground. "But," I paused. "Not tonight." His smiled faded a bit, but stayed on his face.

"Dammit." He said sarcastically walking inside. "Then let's get drunk!" He yelled with his accent showing highly. Ryan and I laughed and slowly walked to the door.

We we're greeted by Raab, Rake, Dico, Johnny and Steve-O, who had already started drinking. After greeting all of the guys I walked to the stairs to get to the Pirate Bar until Bam stepped in front of me handing me a glass worth 3 shots filled with my liquor. "Tour?" He smiled holding out his hand.

After Bam showed me every room downstairs, we went down lower to the Pirate Bar. Ryan almost immediately handed me a beer as soon as I hit the last step. Bam introduced me to Raab, Rake and Dico who were already shitfaced drunk.

"So Karli, why is a pretty girl like you into scum like Bam?" Rake laughed. I smiled looking to Bam and back to Rake. "I don't think he's scum. Maybe an asshole sometimes, but not scum." We laughed. Bam put his arm around me while Dico poured everyone a shot.

An hour later we were all shitfaced. Ryan and I had started to wrestle in the corner of the pirate bar while Bam looked to be having a serious conversation with Dico. Raab joined the wrestling and him and Ryan barely pushed me around.

"Why must you two treat me like such a girl?" Ryan and Raab looked to each other and back to me. "You are a girl." Ryan laughed. "But that doesn't mean when we're fighting you have to treat me like that." Ryan looked to the ground and they both nodded. They looked to me smirking. "Okay." They laughed charging at me.

Raab tripped and Ryan fell on top of me with Raab falling on top of him pushing me harder against the floor. Both me and Ryan screamed and everyone ran over to see what had happened.

"Holy shit Karli, are you okay?" Ryan said standing up next to Raab. I rubbed my head and looked up to everyone with blank faced not moving an inch. "I don't think so," I mumbled standing up. I moved my hand and smiled to Ryan and Raab running towards them and jumping on Ryan's back pulling him to the ground.

"You bitch!" They all laughed. My back was a little hurt from over 200 pounds being pushed onto it, but I was fine." I stood up and walked to the pirate bar. Dico sat next to me as all the guys lied down in the corner.

Dico poured me a shot of Vodka and my Mexican liquor while pouring a small bit of beer into it. "Thanks." I smiled looking to all of the guys then back to Dico. "You know, he really really likes you." I smiled. "I hope so." I leaned my head back and took the shot.

"Believe it. I've known that guy for years, and I've never seen him like this." I nearly blushed. "I've never seen him this happy, either. So don't do anything to hurt him, please." Shitfaced or not, I understood every word Dico was saying. "I won't." I smiled stepping over the beer cans on the floor to get to Bam.

"I think it's time to go to bed." I put my hand out and helped Bam up. "Later dudes." Bam laughed. "Bed? Yeah, that's what the kids are calling it these days." Ryan smiled.

I winked back to him while we walked back up the stairs. Bam nearly fell three times before we were finally up to the first floor. I had to help him up the stairs until we finally got to his bedroom.

He collapsed on the bed while I went to the bathroom. I took everything off besides my underwear. I walked to the back to his bed to find him passed out. "You waited two weeks, and now this?" I mumbled pushing his shoulder. "Bam?" I whispered. "Bam!" I yelled as he finally woke up seeing just me and my bare chest. "Shit, babe." He rubbed his face and looked to me. "I'm sorry." I made a small smile. "Shut up." I laughed pulling him in by his shirt to kiss him.

I pulled his shirt off and laid him down on the bed as he rubbed my chest not breaking the kiss. He soon unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down to his lower thighs. He kissed my shoulder before thrusting himself inside of me. He kissed my shoulder up my neck until he got to my lips sending shivers up my spine.

I let out a moan as he began to go faster until we were both nearly out of breath. He pulled out and fell next to me in the bed. After a few seconds I placed my hand on his chest as he pulled the covers up to our waist as he pulled his pants up.

Bam put his hand on my face and pulled me in for a kiss, slowly moving it down to my waist not breaking the kiss. He gently kissed my neck until we both fell asleep.

* * *

**Chapter twenty-Four.**

I woke up surprisingly early with no signs of a hangover. Without opening my eyes I turned over and began to kiss him until I realized I was kissing his cheek. I opened my eyes to reposition his face to see Ryan asleep next to me in the middle of me and Bam. "Ryan!" I yelled pulling the blanket off Bam and him and covering my body with it as I stood up.

Him and Bam shot up out of bed causing Bam to almost fall off his side. "What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled quickly putting on a pair of my sweatpants and Bam's oversized shirt.

"Well, last night I had a nightmare, and I knew it would be weird if I slept with any of the other guys, so I came in here with you guys." Bam laughed standing up and backing away from the bed. "And you sleeping with us isn't weird." We stood in silence until the three of us began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Get out." I laughed as he walked out the door. I put on underwear and a bra and followed Bam downstairs to the kitchen to find all the guys sitting at the table. "Guys, they had sex last night. The shirt." Dico pointed at me.

I laughed looking down to my shirt and back at the guys. I sat with Bam at the closest two available seats at the long table. "I won't deny it." I smiled while Dico covered his ears.

"Ape should be over soon to make breakfast." Bam said brushing his fingers through his hair. "What are we doing today?" Raab asked standing up. "Let's skate." Bam smirked.

The guys all nodded and ran towards the front door to get to the garage while I stood up and walked to the stairs. I walked up to Bam's room and grabbed my small gold bag and quickly went back downstairs towards the back porch.

I sat down on the chairs in the sunlight looking towards the back yard. I unzipped the bag and pulled out my recently opened pack of Newport's, pulled out a cigarette and quickly lit it.

I starred at the trees and Bam's large back yard as I inhaled and exhaled the smoke.

"I didn't know you smoked?" I jumped out of my chair and covered my mouth to prevent a scream. "Oh my god," I paused. "You scared the shit out of me!" I yelled putting my hand on my stomach.

"You can't tell Bam," I mumbled watching him sit on the chair across from mine. "I won't, but why?" I fell back into my chair. "I just don't want him to know. I've been trying to quit for years, but it hasn't exactly worked out." He put his hand out.

"Feel like sharing?" Ryan smiled through his beard as I handed him a cigarette.

"Bam doesn't care if you smoke." He laughed. "I care." I said quietly with the smoke still in my lungs. "Well we've got an hour before April gets here. I told Bam I'd be going to sleep," I smiled as I ashed my Newport over the railing.

"Feel like watching a movie?" I stood up putting out my cigarette in the ash-tray. Without a word Ryan followed me inside with his cigarette still in his hand.

After 2 more cigarettes each and 45 minutes into the movie, Ryan and I fell asleep. We were woken up an hour later with water being poured all over our heads.

"You fucking dickheads!" Ryan yelled putting his head under the blanket next to mine. I peeked my eyes to see Bam and Raab over top of me with a gallon of water in each of their hands laughing. "Come on assholes." I yelled putting my head back under the thick blanket.

The water almost instantly stopped and the whole room went silent. There was a crack of light coming through the pillow on our faces. We looked to each other and then put our heads out of the pillow to see Bam sitting on the coffee table in front of us and the rest of the guys at the table eating.

"Oh shit." Ryan mumbled jumping up and running to eat. "I'm sorry." We both stood up and I turned with my back faced to him and crossed my arms pretending to be mad. I smiled and winked at the guys who only looked between bites.

Bam put his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. "What if I told you I had a surprise for you?" I turned around to face him while his hands moved to my lower back. "What is it?" I smiled stepping close to him.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it?" He smiled back. "Bam Margera, I don't like surprises." He looked down to me putting his face slower to mine. "Well, you're gonna have to wait." I leaned into kiss Bam until he closed his eyes and leaned his face towards mine when I backed up slowly and ran to the kitchen.

Me and the guys watched to see Bam's reaction when he saw I wasn't there and all almost fell out of our chairs when he nearly fell forwards when my lips were never reached.

I picked up a piece of toast and two pieces of bacon and quickly ate them while standing up. Bam walked over and sat in the big chair at the end of the table close to the guys and far away from me.

I smiled walking over to the chair behind him and pressing my lips hard against his before he had a chance to take a bite of his food. "I like surprises." I smiled pulled back and taking a few steps back from him. "Me too." He smiled as we all laughed.

* * *

**Chapter twenty-five.**

I woke up to see that Bam wasn't next to me but there was a note.

Come downstairs, your surprise is here. –Bam

I smiled placing the note back on the pillow and quickly walking to the bathroom.

I brushed through my hair until it laid flat and put on eyeliner and mascara. I changed into a black off-the shoulder shirt with gray skinnies, a gray beanie and my heartagram necklace.

I was putting on black boots when someone knocked on the door. It was Ryan, who didn't wait for a reply before coming in. "You look nice." He smiled sitting at the end of the bed.

"Thanks," I smiled pulling on my right boot. "Do you know what the surprise is?" I looked in the mirror and walked towards Ryan. "Yes, and believe me, you're dressed perfectly." He smiled standing up and opening the door to walk out.

"Your surprise is downstairs; I'll be down there in a minute." He walked to his room closing the door slowly behind him. "Bam?" I said loudly as I got through the middle of the stairs. I saw someone with dark hair sitting on the couch.

"Um, do you know where Bam is?" I stepped off the stairs and walked towards the couch.

The man stood up and looked towards me. "No. But you must be Karli." My heart skipped a beat as I recognized the man in front of me. "You're Ville Valo." I gasped stepping towards him. "Yes, I'm Ville. Are you Karli?" I swallowed hard.

"Yeah," I paused. "I mean, yes. Yes I am." I smiled shaking his hand. "I am such a huge fan." He smiled back at me. "I know," He pointed to my necklace. "Bam also told me about your tattoo." I blushed. "Oh my god." I covered my face.

"Don't worry," He laughed. "I think it's awesome that you have that." I looked closely into his eyes seeing the bright color they were. "You have no idea how amazing it is to finally meet you." I smiled following him to the couch.

"Well it's great to meet you too." He smiled crossing his legs. At that exact moment Bam walked through the door.

"I see you two have met." He smiled taking off his sunglasses. "Yes, we have. But if you'll excuse me." Ville walked to the bathroom down the hall. The second I heard him close the door I ran up to Bam and jumped on him hugging him and wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Oh my god, Bam." I smiled as he put me on the ground. "That was the most amazing thing- I can't believe it." He leaned towards me and kissed me softly while my arms were still wrapped around his neck.

"I told you I had a good surprise for you." Ryan opened his door and walked downstairs with a bag in his hand. "Where are you going?" I kept my arms around Bam turning my head to look at Ryan. "I'm not going anywhere. Bam's got an interview in Philly. This is his shit." I looked back to Bam.

"You didn't tell me about that." I wrinkled my forehead. His smile faded a bit. "Because I knew you'd want to go." He paused. "It's not that I don't want you to go. It's that this is the only weekend Ville will be here and I want you to be able to get to know him." I smiled up to him.

"I'm so lucky." I kissed him allowing our tongues to intertwine. The kiss lasted until we heard Ryan come back in the house.

"I've gotta leave now." I frowned. "Love you." He smiled. "I love you too." Ville walked back in the room as I quickly kissed Bam before he walked to Ville to say goodbye.

Ryan, Ville and I spent the whole day just the three of us until Ryan decided to invite a bunch of guys and girls over to drink.

Ryan and everyone at the party was shitfaced except Ville who was just nearly there. "Come with me outside?" He whispered into my ear while I was turning on some songs from his Venus Doom album.

I followed him out to the porch where he pulled two cigarettes out of his pockets. "Do you smoke?" He put one in his mouth and handed the other to me. "Sadly." I replied taking the lighter out of my pocket.

"I know what you mean." I looked up to him sitting in one of the chairs. "I've been meaning to quit but I've never gotten around to it." He sat down next to me ashing his cigarette. "How about we quit together?" He laughed. "I'm serious. Right now." He smiled and looked over to me.

"Okay." His smile got bigger. "Let me just add that I'm happy to be sharing this last cigarette with you." I blushed. "Me too." I smiled. I took two shots of vodka and my Mexican liquor from the table and handed one to Ville.

"Cheers." He held his cup over to mine and put them gently together before taking the shot back.

We both wrinkled our faces and began to laugh. "Ville," I paused my laugh fading but my smile staying on my face. "Will you sing to me?" He smiled, staring into my eyes.

"Come here and I will." I squeezed into the chair with Ville with my head on his shoulder as he began to sing The Funeral Of Hearts as if it were a lullaby, whispering it into my ear.

Before he could finish, I felt something come over me that I couldn't control. I gently put both my hands on Ville's cheeks and pulled his face towards mine until our lips met. He didn't fight, either. He put his hands on my neck and kissed me back.

_

I woke up with an incredible headache but I didn't feel sick. I was wearing my bra and underwear, with my bra undone for some reason. I rubbed my eyes and realized I was on the right side of the bed. Bam's side. I looked to the door to see Ryan standing in the door way looking straight past my head. "Ryan?" I mumbled. "Rya-" I looked to my right to see what Ryan had been looking at and lost my breath. "Oh my god." I mumbled standing up and backing away from the bed.

* * *

**Chapter twenty-six.**

I backed away from the bed until my back hit the wall. I stared at Ville, still asleep in the bed. "Ryan, I-" He shook his head stopping me from talking. "Grab your clothes, get dressed and come downstairs." I stood still nodding starring at the ground. "Now." I nearly jumped at the deepness in his voice.

I quietly grabbed clothes from my bag and walked to the bathroom where I changed into a dark blue plain t-shirt, jeans and my usual brown boots.

I walked out of the bathroom to see Ville still asleep and quickly walked out of the room and into Ryan's. "Ryan?" He sat up in the bed and walked up to me. He took one of my hands and sat me down on the bed.

"What the fuck happened last night?" He got close to me being very serious. "Ryan, I don't know." I looked to the ground and back up to him. "How do you not know?" He wrinkled his face. "We were drunk. The last thing I remember is us being outside and him singing to me and-" I stopped putting my hands on my hair-line and looking at the floor.

"And?" Ryan leaned forward. "We kissed." I paused. "That's the last thing I remember." I felt the tear-drops falling from my eyes. "Karli," He rubbed his face. "You realize you two probably had sex, right?" I covered my face again.

"This can't be fucking happening." Ryan walked towards me and pulled my hands from my face sitting next to me on the bed. "It's okay." He pulled me into a hug allowing me to cry on his shoulder.

"If I slept with him- Ryan, Bam's never going to forgive me for this." I looked up to him seeing pity in his eyes. "You two have been through so much already. I'm sure you can get through this."

He stood up helping me off the bed. "He gets here in two hours. If I were you, I'd go get Ville and find out what the hell happened last night." I quickly kissed Ryan's cheek before walking back to Bam's room.

Ville was awake and his clothes were back on. He sat on the edge of the bed scrolling down his phone before noticing I was there. "Ville?" I mumbled stepping towards him. He put his phone on the bed and stood up.

"Karli," He half-smiled. "Are you okay?" He walked up close to me.

"No, I'm not." I brushed my fingers through my hair. "Tell me, what's wrong?" He took my hand and sat down with me on the bed.

"Ville, what happened last night?" He wrinkled his face but kept a small smile. "What do you mean?" He gently squeezed my hand.

"Did we have sex?" Ville covered his face with his available hand and laughed. "I'm serious." I mumbled. "Karli, you're very beautiful-" I stopped him before he could finish. "Thank you, Ville. But that's not what I need to hear right now. I need to know-" He covered my mouth not allowing me to finish.

"Karli, you're very beautiful, and if you weren't with Bam, we would have had sex last night. But you are, and I'd never do that to him, and I know you wouldn't either. We kissed several times, but nothing more than that. The only reason we slept together was because I hadn't spoken to Bam about sleeping arrangements and I wanted to make sure that you were okay." I breathed heavily in relief.

"What do you mean? To see if I was okay?" I wrinkled my forehead. "When I was done singing to you, you started to cry. You began to talk about your parents and your ex-boyfriend, and how happy Bam made you, and how him and his friends saved your life." I couldn't help but smile.

"We didn't have sex, but you did cheat on Bam, and you should tell him." I nodded leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Thank you, Ville." He smiled and pulled me in for a hug.

At that second, the door was quickly pushed open by Ryan. "Karli, Bam's- You've gotta be fucking kidding me." I quickly pulled away and stood up looking at Ryan. "It's not what you think, it was a thank you."

"I don't mean to be rude, Ville, but Karli you need to come to my room now." I looked back to Ville before following Ryan to his room telling him what Ville had told me.

"Bam'll be home in 10 minutes." Ryan's facial expressions had disappeared. "I have to tell him." Ryan nodded barely looking at me. "You're mad." I mumbled. "No, I just never expected this to happen."

I felt myself tear up. "Bam's made you cry before, but there's no way in hell I'll let you cry because of me." Ryan whipped the tears from my cheeks and pulled me in hugging me tight.

"Do you think he'll hate me?" I cried quietly with a slight squeak in my voice. "I've known Bam for years, but I'll never know how I'll react to something." He stopped looking down in my eyes. "But I know Bam will never hate you." He whipped the tears from my face and smiled at me.

"Come on, he'll be here soon and you don't want him to know you've been crying." He gently kissed my forehead and stood up with me. I walked to the bathroom while Ryan walked downstairs.

Once I walked into the bathroom I found Ville in there messing in his bag. "I'll just come in when you're done." I began to turn around when Ville stopped me. "No, you can stay. I'll just be a few more minutes." I walked to my make-up bag and began to apply my usual amount until something pooped into my head.

"Ville," I stopped putting my eyeliner down. "If we didn't have sex, why didn't I have clothes on this morning?" Ville smiled and zipped his bag closed.

"Karli let all of this go. As far as you and Bam know, all we did was kiss last night." He walked past me swiftly as I inhaled his expensive cologne. "Wait, what do you mean as far as I know?" I quickly walked to the door to the bathroom to see Ville walking out Bam's door of his room.

He didn't answer my question. All he did was smile seductively at me as he left the room.

Then it popped into my head.

What if I did have sex with Ville?

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven.**

I put my back against the wall running my fingers through my hair as I tried to remember last night. "Karli!" Ryan yelled my name from downstairs. I pushed myself off the ground to stand up when I heard the door open. I walked from the bathroom to the room to see Ryan.

"He's here." I faked a smile and followed Ryan downstairs. "You okay?" He sat down next to me on the couch. "Just trying to find out what really happened last night." He raised his eye brow and enlarged his eyes.

"I thought Ville told you what happened last night?" In that moment Bam opened the back door. "I'll explain later." I whispered before smiling and standing up to greet Bam.

"Hey babe." I smiled kissing him gently. "Hey baby, where's Ville?" I shrugged my shoulders as we both looked at Ryan. "He got a call from Gas and had to go back to Finland. Something's going on with the album and Ville's got to record a song again." Bam nodded as his smile faded a bit.

"And the guys?" I put my head on his shoulder. "Still asleep." Bam's smile turned into a devilish smirk. "Perfect." He kissed me quickly and walked up stairs to the guys bedrooms.

Bam grabbed milk and eggs from the kitchen and walked with me and Ryan upstairs. On the way up Ryan grabbed the camera and handed it to me to record. We went to Dico's room first, and he wasn't there. Rake wasn't in his either.

We went into Raab's room to find him and Dico together on the bed and Rake on the ground. Ryan turned on the camera and took the milk from Bam.

They counted to three and poured the milk and threw the eggs while screaming at the top of their lungs. "You fucking assholes!" Dico yelled cover his head with Raab's body.

Ryan, Bam and I fell on the ground laughing as Rake struggled to get the eggs out of his hair. I turned off the camera and sat it down next to me.

We were all laughed and having a good time when I had remembered what had happened with me and Ville, causing my smile to almost immediately fade.

"Karli, are you okay?" I snapped back to what was happening and looked towards Bam and the guys who were now staring at me. "Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine." I faked a smile as Ryan helped me up before he walked out of the room.

"I'm gonna go get some air." I walked out of Raab's room shutting the door behind me. I quickly walked to the porch and leaned over the railing. I breathed in and out heavily nearly hyperventilating. I covered my face in an attempt not to cry.

I heard the door open behind me and quickly turned around to see who it was.

Ryan stood there holding out a cigarette in one hand while he lit his. "I thought you might need one." I put a small smile on my face and took the cigarette and the lighter he then gave me.

"Can we go for a walk or something?" Ryan smiled through his thick beard and walked to the front of Bam's house where we walked down the road to the front gate. "Thank you, for this and everything." Ryan smiled taking the last inhale of his cigarette hitting the filter. He kissed my forehead and put his arm around me.

"No problem. I like you living here and being with us all the time. Things are better like this." I blushed tossing my cigarettes on the edge of the road. "Aw, Ryan." I smiled leaning close to him and putting my head on his shoulder.

Bam and everyone barged out the front door and walked towards us slowly.

I felt a drop of water on my head when they stopped twenty feet away from us.

The rain quickly began to fall as we soon found ourselves standing in a storm. Bam, Dico, Raab and Rake all pulled out their own umbrellas from behind their backs while Johnny and Steve-O shared one.

I raised my hands and covered my head from the rain as did Ryan. The guys quickly ran back to the house and shut the door behind them. Ryan and I got an idea of what they were planning before we finally got to the door.

"Fuckers!" Ryan yelled inside through the locked door. The guys sat in the kitchen pointing and laughing at getting soaked in the rain.

I grabbed Ryan's wrist and pulled him to the back porch where the umbrella was for the tables. We sat under it for about half an hour when the rain finally stopped. Steve-O finally unlocked the door for us.

I stepped inside and shook my hair making everything around me (including Ryan) wet. We both sat on the ground waiting for Steve-O to come back with towels for us. I leaned my head on Ryan's shoulder while we both laughed at how fast his beard dried.

A few seconds after I got my towel I heard the door upstairs slam. I saw Johnny, Steve-O, Dico, Rake and Raab in front of me, leaving Bam to be the one upstairs. I quickly dried off as much as I could and walked upstairs to Bam's room.

He was sitting on his bead messing with his beanie in his hand. "Are you okay?" I sat next to him gently putting my hand on his back.

As soon as my hand reached his back he sprung up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom quickly turning around once he reached the door. "I just thought I could trust you." He sarcastically smiled.

"What are you talking about?" I stood up watching him pace in a straight line. "I thought of all people, you'd never let me down, and you were just fucking perfect." He threw his hands in the air.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said louder than before. "You fucking cheating on me!" He yelled louder than me. "Bam, I-" I choked up.

"Don't act stupid. I know all about it." He stood still in front of me. "Bam, I was going to tell you." I paused tearing up. "I've known. I've known for weeks. I watch you two all the time. I can't believe you'd cheat on me, but right in front of my face?! I can't-" I stopped him.

"Whoa, Whoa. Stop. Who are you talking about?" I stepped towards him. "Fucking Ryan!" He yelled loud enough for me to hear but not anyone else. "Ryan!?" I yelled back louder. "You think I cheated on you with fucking Ryan!?" I sarcastically laughed.

"We're friends, dumb ass!" He walked closer to me. "How many times do I have to tell you that?! You're all I fucking want. I love you, Bam! When the hell are you going to realize it?" I wanted to grab him and pull him close to me and kiss him, but I knew I couldn't.

"Then who the hell are you talking about!?" My mind and face went blank. The room was quite you could almost hear my pounding heartbeat.

"Bam, I-" I mumbled struggling on how to find the right words to tell him.

* * *

**Chapter twenty-eight.**

I collapsed sitting back on the bed. I covered my hands with my face crying harder than I had expected to. "Who?" Bam's voice cracked as he forced the word out of his throat. "Ville." I murmured through my hands.

I felt the bed sink in next to me. I cracked one of my fingers and looked to see Bam sitting there, hands together at his knees staring at the wall with a blank face.

"I was drunk," I breathed heavily picking up my head. "I was drunk and sad and Ville was here-" I stopped reaching out my hand but not touching him. "I never meant for it to happen, I'm not even sure what happened?" Bam wrinkled his face and slowly tilted his head towards me.

"How do you not know what happened?" He looked me up and down. "I was drunk," I put my hand on his thigh. "I feel dirty and disgusting and like shit." I winced at the tears falling from my cheeks.

"It meant nothing, and Bam," I paused lowering my head in an attempt to get him to look at me, which, at the time, failed. "You're everything. You're the best I've ever had and I'm a fuck up." He raised his head and looked in my hazel-gray eyes with his piercing blue.

"You're right," I faked a small smile. "I'm not perfect, and I don't deserve you. You deserve the best and you deserve perfection." My smile faded as I looked down to my hand on his thigh and back up to his eyes.

"And that's why I'm leaving." His head and body swiftly pointed in my direction as his face went blank and his mouth opened a small inch.

"I know what you're going to say," I frowned not taking my eyes off him. "I always leave when things like this happen." I looked for an expression but neither his face or body made movement.

"But it's different this time. I'm not going to call you in a few days asking you to come pick me up. I'm going to pray you don't hurt yourself in an attempt to make me come back. And I'm not going to take your best friend with me. This isn't your fault. You're amazing, and you deserve better than me." I paused making another fake and small smile.

"And with me gone, you'll find the person you deserve. I love you, Bam. But that doesn't mean I deserve you." As I stood up I took my hand off of Bam. The second my hand left his body he gently grabbed my wrist and looked up to me.

He opened his mouth in an attempt to say something but it never got out. He let my hand go and it dropped to my side.

"Goodbye, Bam." I faked a smile. I took a last look at Bam through a crack in the door before slowly closing it behind me.

I looked to the guys who were all sitting letting their legs hang off the bottom of the railing for the second floor. They all starred at me with blank faces. Before any of them had the chance to see me break down, I ran to the bathroom and began to cry.

"No." I whispered to myself whipping the tears away. I rubbed off my eyeliner and mascara and took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door to see Ryan waiting for me.

"What happened?" He stepped forward. "I'm leaving Ryan." I faked smiled. "What? What do you mean you're leaving? No the fuck you're-" I interrupted him. "I'll wait until morning to go." I stepped closer to him. "I'll wake you up before I leave, but Ryan, this will be the last time I leave." His expression showed how confused and upset he was.

"But why?" I explained to Ryan why I felt I needed to leave before we were interrupted by Raab. "Pizza's- shit, I'm interrupting. Sorry." He backed up and turned around.

"Thanks, man." Ryan waved him on to walk back down stairs to continue the conversation with me. "Are we still going to talk?" I was silent for a second before forcing a smile on my face and hugging Ryan. "Of course." I kept my arms around him but pulled my head back a little to face him.

"I already told you, no matter what happens, there will always be us." He made a small half-smile. "Where will you live?" The question hadn't been thought of. "Well Brittany's got a small apartment she's living in above her Moms. I guess I could stay with her until I get a job." I stepped back letting my arms fall to my side.

"Well if you ever need anything, money, a friend, a place to stay. You've got my number." I smiled quickly hugging him again. "Thank you." His beard scratched my neck. "He probably won't be coming out any time soon. Hungry?" I nodded and followed him downstairs to get pizza.

After eating, I went with Ryan upstairs to his room. He let me sleep there while he took the floor.

I woke up at 10 while Ryan was still asleep. I heard things moving around downstairs. I looked in all of the rest of the guys rooms to make sure it wasn't them when I finally peaked around the corner to see Bam messing with something on the table.

I took the opportunity and quietly walked into Bam's room and got my things together. Every moment fearing he would walk through the door, with a part of me hoping he would.

Once all my things were together I ran back to Ryan's room and waited to hear Bam go back in his room.

He was down stairs for quite a while before finally walking upstairs and going back to his room.

Without waking up Ryan, I took my three bags and brought them down to my Lambo. Since they were in the garage, Bam's Hummer was unlocked, letting me get the rest of my things I hadn't brought up yet.

I opened the garage door, started the Lambo and backed up into the drive way. I took my brush out of my purse and brushed through my straight dark hair.

Before I could get out of the car, Ryan walked outside with a letter in his hand. "You didn't think you were going to leave without saying goodbye?" I smiled and walked out of the car to hug him as the rest of the guys came out.

I hugged Raab, Rake, Johnny and Steve-O hearing them all tell me to "keep in touch" and that we'd all have to "get together sometime." I finally got to Dico, which besides Ryan was the hardest to explain everything to.

"I'm really sorry." He starred down at me making a faint smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure you two will end up working things out." I smiled back at him knowing we wouldn't. "You and me will see each other again, I hope." He smiled and walked forward to hug me.

I looked up to Bam's window to see his curtains closed. "I guess he won't be coming out so say goodbye?" I pulled away from Dico and backed up looking to the rest of the guys who all shook their heads.

"I told him you were leaving, but he didn't say anything." Steve-O frowned. I nodded hiding my feelings inside. All of the guys went inside knowing I wanted to speak to Ryan alone.

"When will you come back?" I gently leaned on the side of the Lambo. "'Few weeks to get the rest of my stuff." He stepped towards me.

"Can I see you?" I stood up straight off the Lambo. "I wouldn't come to Pennsylvania ever without seeing you." He smiled and walked up to hug me.

The hug was quicker than usual when Ryan pulled away. "This is for you from him." I was shocked, but didn't say anything about it. "He handed it to me on my way out; I'm as surprised as you are." I took the letter and put it the middle console of the car.

"I should get going. It's a long way back to New York." Ryan's smile faded a bit. "I really wish you wouldn't go." I took his hand in mine. "I wish I didn't either. But I want Bam to have a girl as good as he deserves." He wrapped his arms around me tight.

"Call me, all the time." He whispered kissing my cheek. "I'll see you in a few weeks." I pulled away, breaking my heart.

"I love you, Ryan." I smiled fighting back the tears. "I love you too." He smiled back walking back inside.

* * *

**Chapter twenty-nine.**

After Ryan went inside, I starred at Castle Bam for the last time. I paid attention to nearly every detail on and around the castle. Before starting my car, I looked up to Bam's window, hoping he'd open it. Hoping he'd quickly push it open and scream for me to wait. Wait for him to come down and hold me, telling me he loved me and not to leave.

He didn't.

Then I realized I didn't even deserve for him too. I deserved to leave without him saying goodbye or telling me he loved me. I didn't deserve him.

I started the car and drove down the rainbow line out to the gate. I looked down at the lane I had walked with Ryan the day before. The gate opened and with a heavy heart, I drove away.

At first I drove slowly past all of the turns and populated area. I began going fast. Too fast.

I drove down random roads taking random turns until I got to a dead end surrounded by thick woods. I slammed on the breaks and pulled the car over.

I felt everything in my body go weak. I could barely move my arms, or anything else. I was breaking.

It took everything I could to reach over and open the console to get out the letter Ryan had given me. I tried to open it, but I knew if I did, I'd be driving back to Bam's. Instead, I placed the letter back inside the console, got myself together, turned up the radio, and drove to Brittany's.

_

Three weeks had gone by before Brittany's mom was back to normal and she finally felt comfortable enough to leave her in New York while we went back to West Chester.

Those three weeks had gone by happy and fine with her spending time with her Mom.

Those three weeks were the longest and most painful time I had ever gone through. I hadn't gone out to look for a job and I was living off of the monthly money my dad sent, something Brittany and I argued about.

I hadn't left my room except to get pizza and soda, the only thing I would eat. I sat in bed all day, rarely getting up to change my clothes or anything. I had given Brittany's sister my TV, since all I would do is stare at the blank gray wall.

I had barely spoken to any of the guys except Ryan, who I talked to for about an hour everyday despite his calls and texts 24/7.

Tomorrow we were supposed to leave for West Chester to get the rest of our things. I knew today would be my only chance to read Bam's letter.

I reached over to my nightstand and pulled open the drawer pulling out the only thing inside, the letter.

My hands shaking, I ripped the top open and pulled out the folded paper.

_Karli -_

_I know you think you messed up. You also think you're not perfect. And I know you think you're not the one for me and that I deserve better than you. All of those things are insane. Look at me. I'm shit, and you've stuck with me. I've fucked up so many times, yet you've always come back for me._

_You think you're not perfect. You're beautiful, not just your gorgeous face or your incredible body. The way you act, your personality, the way you see people. You see a guy like me, and you fall in love with me because you saw goodness nobody else, including me, could see._

_I've never felt the way I feel about you before. I've never really been in love until you. I didn't think I'd ever find someone who I felt I could be with forever and never get tired of them, and never want to be with anyone else. Then I found you._

_It sounds all sensitive and shit. And you know that's not how I am. I'd probably be too much of a bitch to tell you to your face, which is the whole reason I wrote this in the first place._

_You told me you want me to go out and find someone who I love and who deserves me. The problem is, I already did._

_I don't know when you'll read this, but when you do know I forgive what you did. Don't expect me to ever get like this to your face, because it's not how I can really act in front of someone. Just know it's true. And I still love you._

_-Bam._

I placed the letter on the nightstand. Fighting every emotion that was attempting to come out. I pulled up my knees and curled into a ball under my blanket, letting all of my emotions come out until I fell asleep.

_

Brittany woke me up as she speed-walked around my room looking for something. "Karli, come on. We have to leave soon." I pulled the blanket off and pulled my hair out of my face. "Brittany, I can't." She stopped what she was doing for a split second to stare at me. "What the hell do you mean?" She wrinkled her face and continued to look in the wardrobe.

"I can't go back to West Chester with you. You know I'll just stay there if I see him." She walked over to me and ripped the blanket off my body. "You're not going to see him; we're going to our house to get our things. Then we're leaving. Simple." I stood up and walked to the end of the bed. "I just can't." I squeaked.

"Fine. Whatever. I'm not arguing with you- Where the fuck are your fucking car keys?!" I reached into my pocket and pulled out the Lambo keys. "I'm sorry." I followed her to her room where she pulled on her jacket.

"Don't worry about it. Just come outside with me." She took my wrist and grabbed her purse before calling the old elevator to come up.

I walked downstairs with her and walked towards Brittany's brother's trailer which had the Lambo inside.

I flipped over the numbers until the right code was in when Brittany helped me pull down the door. The second the door opened someone jumped out in front of me causing me to scream. "Holy fucking shit." Brittany yelled jumping back.

I stepped closer towards the trailer to see who was there placing my hand over my quickly racing heart.

* * *

**Chapter thirty.**

Brittany looked over to me and began to laugh. "How the fuck are you laughing right now? Who the fuck are you?" I watched the person step closer to the light in the trailer.  
"Now, did you really think I was going to let you try and not come back to West Chester?" I recognized the voice three steps before they stepped out. "Ryan!" I jumped up, smiling for the first time in weeks.  
I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Whoa, you're starting to smell like me." He laughed wrapping his arms around my waist. "Oh shut up." I turned around to Brittany. "You knew?" She smiled and shrugged her shoulders.  
"He called me last night." I turned around and hugged Ryan again before walking down out of the trailer. "You've got 30 minutes. Shower, change, look hot, you know." I smiled while Ryan helped me close the door to the trailer.  
Ryan and Brittany went downstairs to see Brittany's mom while I got ready. I showered and blow dried my hair when I grabbed my bag of clothes. I dropped my towel and picked out clothes to change. I looked in the mirror at my body.  
I had lost 8 pounds since I had left West Chester, and it was starting to show. My ribs were beginning to stick out while my hip bones stayed the same. My collar bones stuck out more than usual. I still looked healthy, but I was in the process of looking disgusting.  
I looked down my body knowing that if I changed my habits now, I'd be healthy again. I looked myself up and down in the mirror one more time before getting in my bag.  
I picked out a white ruffled tank top, gray pants, brown boots and a gray beanie.  
Before grabbing a jacket, I walked to the side of my bed to grab my purse. I pulled open the drawer and took out the letter from Bam and put it in the side pocket of my bag.  
I texted Ryan and told him and Brittany to meet me downstairs.  
Ryan: You riding with me?  
Karli: Yeah. Tell Brittany she can take the Lambo.  
Ryan and Brittany got downstairs before me and were waiting with the cars.  
"You don't mind, do you?" Brittany smiled and shook her head. "As long as you're safe." We both looked to Ryan as he shrugged his shoulders and started his car. "I promise." I hugged Brittany and walked to Ryan's car.  
We were 5 miles up the road when Ryan turned down the radio and smiled over to me. "What, Ryan what?" He smirked and looked at me keeping his hands on the wheel. "You're staying in West Chester tonight in that house-a-yours."  
The smile that was on my face had faded. "How the fuck do you expect me to do that?" He looked to the road and back to me. "We're going to go out to a bar, get shit faced, drive home and we'll all stay there. Just you, me and Brittany." I sighed laying back in the chair.  
"Unless you want to invite some of the guys. They all really want to see you." A small smile appeared on my face. "I'd love that," I stopped. "But I wouldn't want to take all of Bam's friends away." Ryan laughed.  
"Karli, the guy barely ever leaves his room when we're not filming. I'm sure he won't even notice." I looked down to my purse seeing the letter stick out. Ryan leaned his head over to see what I was looking at.  
"Is that the letter?" I frowned.  
The Letter. The Letter that broke my heart? The Letter that made everything so much harder on me? Did he expect it to make me come back? Why doesn't he just call? I can at least ignore that. Yes. This is The Letter that meant the world to me, yet I regret ever reading it.  
"Yeah." I mumbled ignoring all of the thoughts going on in my head. "Can you read it to me?" Surprisingly, I was happy he asked. He needed to hear the letter, and I needed to hear it again.  
After I read the letter to Ryan, you could tell his mood changed. "So, uh, how did you feel when you read it?" He frowned. "Like shit." I breathed putting the letter back in the envelope and back into my purse.  
"Well I can see why." I checked my phone, even though I knew I hadn't gotten any messages.  
"Changing the subject," He smiled in a deep voice. "How long are you going to be living in that miserable apartment?" I bit my lip.  
"I don't know," I took a two second stop. "It's not exactly like I have anywhere else to go." He rolled his eyes and looked took the exit on the right. "Like I told you, I can make things happen. And I'd much rather have you in Pennsylvania where you can be happy than in New York where you're not." I smiled.  
"And how would you get me to Pennsylvania?" He smiled keeping his eyes on the road. "For you, I'd find a way." I blushed.  
"Well thank you." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.  
The rest of the ride we listened to music and talked about everything and anything. It was noon by the time we got to the house in West Chester.  
I left my things in the car and walked with Ryan and Brittany into the house. I pulled the keys out of my purse and handed them to Ryan to open the door.  
We were greeted by a bunch of guys holding a banner. "Surprise!" They screamed scaring the hell out of me and Brittany. The banner that had once said 'Welcome home' now said 'Welcome Home We missed you!'  
"Ryan, did you know?" He shrugged and grabbed a red solo cup from the table in front of him. I walked closer to the guys and realized who they all were. In front of me were Johnny, Steve-O, Dico, Raab, Rake, Preston, Wee-Man, Ehren and Dave.  
I hugged and was introduced to Preston, Wee-man, Ehren, Dave and Chris before I greeted Johnny, Steve-O, Dico, Raab and Rake.  
While I was talking to Wee-Man and Preston, a bunch of other people came over like they had at the party before when I came home from the hospital. The music was getting louder and so were the people.  
"Can we talk, upstairs?" I tapped on Dico's shoulder. He looked to have hesitated, but finally nodded and followed me out of the room.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-one.**

I took Dico upstairs to my bedroom so we could talk. I opened the door, and let him go in first. I sat down on the bed while he looked around the room. "So, what did you want to talk about?" He said as if he didn't already know.  
"You know." He shook his head and sat down in the bed next to me. "We're not talking about you and Bam right now." I bit my lip. "Why?" I murmured. "Because today, we're getting drunk, having fun, anything we can to have a good time. And you up here crying about Bam won't be a good time."  
"Well," I stopped. "Let's go get drunk." He smiled as I followed him downstairs.  
"Brittany's staying sober tonight." Ryan whispered in my ear once I got downstairs. I looked over to her holding a solo cup talking to Steve-O. "Water. She doesn't want to look out of place." I laughed.  
We drank until dark when Brittany drove most of the guys to a bar in Dave's Van while Steve-O drove Me, Ryan and Johnny in Ryan's car.  
I had changed into ripped jeans, a dark-gray over-sized long sleeve shirt and kept on my same shoes and beanie.  
"Got you something, Karli." Ryan smiled handing me a shot of Absinthe while downing a shot of Tequila. I leaned my head back and took a deep breath before downing it. "Holy shit." I smiled sitting next to him at the bar.  
"Whiskey?" I smiled to the bartender. She nodded, smiling back. She came back with a shot and I downed it the second it hit the bar table.  
"So, Ryan," I slurred. "Nobody wants me to talk about it, but how's Bam-Bam doing?" Ryan put down his glass. "Not that you'll remember this, but not good. He doesn't sleep, and when he does he's on the couch. It's been three weeks and I think he's misses you and is extremely sexually frustrated." I frowned ordering another shot.  
"Why doesn't he go fuck some girl then?" Ryan sarcastically laughed. "Because he doesn't want another girl and refuses to see or be with anyone besides you, dumb ass." I downed my shot making a pout-face.  
"Can I have-" Ryan put his hand up. "No, I think you're done for the night." He quickly drank the rest of his drink and walked towards the car. "I'm taking her home." Ryan yelled over the music to Brittany. She squinted her eyes and got close to Ryan's face.  
"I've barely had anything to drink, I'm fine." He half-hugged her and wrapped his arm around me taking me to his car. He helped me get into the passenger's seat and then got himself in the car.  
I fell asleep half way through the ride home, waking up as Ryan laid me down in my bed. "Did you carry me all the way up here?" He smiled and pulled my blanket over me. "Surprisingly with your height, you're very light." I smiled lying back onto my pillows.  
"Thank you." I smiled. Not for the compliment, but for caring enough about me to leave his friends and take me home.  
"It's no problem. I'll be with those guys for months, and I won't be seeing you." I put my hand to my head. "Oh my god," I mumbled. "I completely forgot. Fuck fuck fuck." I teared up as a result of being completely shitfaced.  
"What's wrong?" Ryan said in a soothing voice sitting next to me in the bed. "I won't be seeing you for so fucking long. What the hell am I going to do?" He smiled through his thick beard. "We'll still talk all the time." It didn't make me feel any better.  
"That's not the same. Damn it, I never would have left for New York if I knew." He took off his jacket, pulled up the blanket and laid next to me. "I've already lost Bam, I'll never get him back after this Ryan. I can't talk to Brittany about this stuff and now I won't be able to even fucking see you." I cried as he put his arm around me and pulled me in tightly to his chest.  
"You haven't lost Bam. And you haven't lost me. You'll never loose either of us. I promise. Us not being able to see each other won't change a thing. It'll just mean so much more when we finally do get to see each other." He pulled me closer as I put my hand in the middle of his chest.  
"It's a year, Ryan. Things change. People change." I stopped. "We don't know how things'll be when you come back." I cried into his side. "Look at me," he smiled. "Nothing is going to change our relationship. Ever. I promise." I smiled through the tears falling down my face.  
He kissed my forehead and laid back in the bed keeping his arm tightly around my shaking body.  
I woke up to see that Ryan was gone. I could hear the guys laughing and talking downstairs. I listened for about 3 minutes smiling to myself before finally getting up and changing.  
I put on a gray ruffled tank top, skinny jeans and gray boots. Someone knocked on my door and cracked it open before I could answer.  
It was Dico. "Can we talk?" He smiled. "Yeah, you can sit down anywhere." He shut the door behind him and sat in the chair across from the side of my bed. I walked to my bed and sat down putting my elbows on my knees and leaning over.  
He leaned over to my night-stand and picked up the framed photo of me and Bam. "You two were perfect." I clenched my fist. "Were." I mumbled as he put the picture back down.  
"Before I went and fucked everything up." Dico frowned and shook his head. "I don't blame you for anything. You promised me you wouldn't break his heart, but I asked you to promise me that before I knew he had already broken yours before." I felt different having a serious conversation with Dico.  
"I left because I had to." Dico shook his head. "You left, because you felt you had to." He was right. "How was I supposed to stay there and be with him, knowing he could be with someone perfect like him?" Dico smiled.  
"Listen sweetheart, Bam and I have been friends for so long now, and just because you love him, and you're talking to me, doesn't mean either of us have to pretend he's perfect. Because he's not." I grinded my teeth.  
"Bam's not perfect, you're not perfect." I looked down at my jeans. "But you two are perfect for eachother." I looked back up to Dico smiling.  
"I don't know how I'll go back to him." Dico laughed loudly. "Call him, believe me, it's not as hard as your making it." I swallowed hard watching him stand up and walk out of my room.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-two.**

A few minutes of standing by the phone, collecting all of the courage I need to dial Bam's number I was finally ready. By the time I unlocked my phone I felt myself running to the bathroom across the hall. I grabbed my hair and held it back as I threw up.

"Fuck." I mumbled flushing the toilet and whipping my mouth. I sat down leaning my back on the wall next to the toilet. I heard someone stepping up the stairs.

"You okay?" Ryan stepped into the bathroom. "Hangover." He laughed leaning his back on the wall and sitting next to me. "You were pretty drunk last night." I laughed putting my left elbow on my knee and putting my head in my hand.

"I still remember our conversations." He rolled his eyes. "The one at the bar, too?" I nodded putting on a small smile.

"You weren't supposed to remember that." He put both his hands to his face. "Well, I do. So spill." He dropped his hands and smiled to me.

"I can't." He faced the ground and shook his head keeping the smile on his face. "You have to." He looked back to me wrinkling his face.

"Or?" He laughed. "Or I'm about to throw up and I have the choice between you and the toilet." I smiled. He busted out laughing.

"You're very persuasive." He smiled. "I know, now go." I laughed. "He's not himself anymore. I mean, when we're shooting, he acts like nothing's wrong, but when he's off camera, it's a completely different story." I put my hand up giving him the signal to keep going. "And?"

"And he just seems really messed up. I know he misses you, and I know he's not getting… you know." He stopped. "What do I know?" I wrinkled my face.

"Manly needs?" He whispered. "Like?" I held back my smile just trying to get Ryan to say it.

"He hasn't had you to have sex with him, and jerking off just isn't the same. Okay?" I laughed leaning on his shoulder. "Ryan, I know." He smiled. "You bitch." I smiled back.

"Have to puke?" He laughed. "No. Why?" He stood up. "Cause we're going out. Just us." I smiled as he put his hand out. "I've got three days left in Pennsylvania with you, and we're making them count." I took his hand and stood up.

I followed Ryan downstairs trying to get the thought of not seeing him for a year out of my head.

"Brittany made breakfast." Dico looked over to me. "I helped." Raab smiled looking like he felt he had accomplished something.

Brittany handed me a plate with eggs, bacon and toast on it. "Thanks." I smiled taking a fork from the drawer.

"You know, if you wanted to, we could move back into- nevermind." Brittany mumbled. "No, I'd love to." I smiled looking over to Ryan and winking. "Are you sure? It's up to you, really." Brittany took a bite of her bacon.

"Brittany, I want to." All of the guys raised their glasses. "To many more breakfasts at Karli and Brittany's." Dico yelled. "To that." Ryan smiled. I raised my glass smiling uncontrollably.

"Guys," Steve-O said through chews looking at his phone. "Jeff says he found some lake a few miles away that he wants us to do some skits at in an hour." I frowned looking over to Ryan.

"Are you kidding me?" Ryan put his fork on his place. Ryan, Johnny, Dico, Raab, Rake and Steve-O's mood changed knowing they left for California tomorrow afternoon and this would be the last day we'd spend together and we couldn't even be together.

After we all finished eating, we helped the guys get their stuff together to leave.

"I really do wish you could come with us." Johnny smiled. "I do to, but it wouldn't be a good idea, considering." I smiled back.

"Well, I love you and I hope we can see each other when filming's over." I blushed. "Of course, Johnny. I love you too." I kissed his cheek and hugged him tight.

Steve-O walked up behind me and whispered in my ear, "I hope we can see each other too." I smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." I turned around. Without a word he opened his arms wide, smiling.

I couldn't help but blush and step up to hug him. "If you're ever in town, call me." I stepped back from the tight hug. "Of course." I kissed his cheek and watched him walk away.

I said goodbye to all of the Jackass guys when just Dico, Raab, Rake and Ryan were left. "I hope things work out with, you know." I nodded to Rake while smiling and hugging him.

Raab stepped up and curled his lip over making a pout-face. "Aw." I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck. I pulled away looking at his now smiling face. "I'll miss that." I stepped back. "What?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Your giant smile." He let out a small laugh. "Well, you'll see it again soon. Promise." I kissed his cheek hugging him again. "I can't wait." He stepped out keeping a smile on his face.

I turned around to see just Dico standing behind me. We stood there, about 5 feet away from each other staring at each other until we both broke in laughter.

I leaned my back on the wall and slowly fell to the floor. Dico, still standing and laugh fading looked down on me smiling. "Why are you laughing so hard?" I put my hand on my stomach. "I don't know," I blurted out between laughs. "I'm so tired," I stopped catching my breath and wrinkling my face. "I'm so tired of always taking things seriously." He put his hand out to help me up.

"You don't take things to seriously," Dico laughed. "You just didn't notice Steve-O put vodka in your orange juice." I put my hand on my head as we both laughed uncontrollably. "I can't even- let's just hug and I'll talk to you later." I smiled wrapping my arms around him.

I looked to my right to see Ryan standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Dico, sensing my sudden movement let go and looked to Ryan.

"I'll leave you two alone." I smiled watching him walk out the door and looked to Ryan.

"I think I'll miss you the most, scarecrow." We smiled as we both slowly stepped closer and closer to each other. "Oh no, we're not doing that." We stopped a foot away from each other.

"Doing what?" I raised an eyebrow. "Saying goodbye." He frowned. "That's tomorrow." I added.

"Not even then. Goodbyes can last forever; we'll always see each other later." I smiled tearing up. I quickly wrapped my arms around Ryan's neck as he wrapped his around my waist. "I love you, Ry." I whispered with my head on his shoulder.

"I love you too." He mumbled back. We stood in the middle of the room holding onto each other for what felt like an hour, but was only for a few minutes.

"You need to go," I frowned pulling back. "I'll be at the airport tomorrow." I kissed his cheek for longer than any of the other guys. "Love you, Ryan." I smiled fighting back the tears. "I love you too." He forced a smile kissing my cheek.

I watched him walk out to the car and them all drive away, taking a piece of me with them.

I collapsed on the couch pulling out my phone from my pocket knowing what I needed to do next. I quickly dialed Bam's number.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-three.**

With my hands shaking, I dialed Bam's number. At each ring I felt a pounding inside of me almost making me hang up the phone and throw it across the room.

I didn't.

For the first time since I had met him, Bam didn't answer the phone.

I breathed in deeply and waited for the beep.

"You didn't answer, but I'm not surprised. I wouldn't really want to talk to me either." I breathed out letting a fake small laugh escape. "I know I told you I wouldn't do this, believe me I wasn't planning on it. But I wanted to know if you could meet me at my house, or have me meet you at yours so we can talk. I know you have some skits to do at the lake, so it's okay if you just want to go to sleep when you get home or something, I just thought you would want to know that-" I stopped myself from saying what I really felt when I realized I had been rambling on.

"Karli, meet me at my house at 9." My heart nearly stopped. Bam must have answered while I was leaving the message. "Okay," I swallowed. "I'll see you then." I sat still breathing quickly and quietly.

"Do you think Brittany could stay at home? I think we need to-" He stopped. "Talk alone?" I bit my lip. "Yeah, but I really need to get going." I breathed in and out deeply. "Yeah, sure. Go. I'll see you later." I hung up the phone quickly and put it down on the couch.

I sat on the couch breathing regularly in an attempt to regulate my heartbeat.

The hours went by slowly as I slept on the couch until 8 when I was awoken by my phone ringing. "Holy shit." I mumbled turning over to grab my phone.

I cleared my through and answered. "Hello?" I coughed. "Feel like going drinking tonight?" I realized it was Ryan. "Oh, uh, Ryan I-" I was interrupted by his laughter. "Dude, I'm fucking kidding." He laughed.

"I know you're going to Bam Bam's tonight." A smile instantly appeared on my face. "Yeah, in- holy shit in an hour." I yelled checking the time on my phone.

"Go get your ass real fuckin' pretty and call me when you leave." I smiled to myself and walked towards the stairs. "I will." I ran up to my room hanging up.

I showered and styled my hair to its usual straightness. I put on make-up in the bathroom before going in my room to change. I put on ripped dark skinny jeans, a tight black t-shirt, black Adios and a gray beanie.

I leaned on the wall slowly sitting down running my fingers through my hair as Bam's voice echoed through my head. I considered canceling on Bam and never making plans to see him again.

"Shut the fuck up." I argued with myself. 'I'm losing my mind.' I thought taking out my phone and texting Bam.

Karli: I'm on my way.

I slipped my phone into my back pocket and pulled on my brown leather jacket. I looked in Brittany's room to find her already asleep.

Not wanting her to be worried, I wrote her a note telling her I'd be at Bam's and to go out and have fun without me.

It didn't take long to get to Bam's house. I let myself in using the code Bam gave me and texted him letting him know I was there.

Bam: Come upstairs to my room.

I took a few deep breaths before grabbing my purse and stepping out of the car. I looked over to Bam's window to see his curtains closed.

I walked to the front door to find it locked. I then walked around the house to the porch and opened the slide door.

I expected to see the house a mess, but instead the only mess was beer cans everywhere, which was normal. "April," I breathed setting my purse down on the couch.

I took off my jacket setting it next to my purse. I felt my heart beating faster and faster each step I took up the stairs and towards Bam's bedroom.

I stood still outside of his room catching my breath and thinking about what I would say when I finally got the courage to knock.

It only took one time for Bam to yell from the other side of the room, "Come in." I took my last breath before I finally stepped into his room.

The second I saw him I felt I was going to collapse on the floor. My heart definitely skipped a beat and I was lost for words.

"Hey," He breathed over throwing things in a suitcase on the opposite side of his bed. "Hi." I smiled closing the door behind me and taking a few steps towards him.

"What're you doing?" I faked smiled. "Packing for California." He mumbled throwing a few more things in the large bag and pushing it to a close.

He breathed heavily and walked over to the side of the bed I was on. "You look-" He smiled stopping himself. "You look great." I smiled back, blushing. "Thanks, so do you." I looked him up and down.

His short hair a mess on his head, yet it still looked amazing. He wore a black t-shirt with white designs, dark pants and black Adios.

"So, you wanted to talk?" He smiled down at me with his eyes sparkling.

"Yeah, uh," I bit my lip. "Don't do that." His smile faded. "What?" I mumbled.

"Bite your lip." He mumbled back sitting on the bed. I raised an eyebrow signaling him to go on. "You know what it does." I opened my mouth and nodded, "Ah. Sorry." I switched my weight to my other leg.

"You can sit down, you know." He smiled again. "Oh, yeah." I smiled back nervously.

"Do you want a beer to relax?" He laughed stepping over to the new mini-fridge he had added to his room since I had left. "Oh god yes." I laughed as he took two out of the fridge and handed me one still smiling.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-four.**

Bam and I were both almost completely silent as we quickly finished our beers, despite the awkward looks between us which we laughed off.

"So Karli," He smiled. "You came here to talk." His accent sent shivers down my spine.

"Yes," I smiled back. "About us." My smile faded. "What exactly do you mean?" He was making me feel ridiculous.

"Well we can start with the letter." He frowned. "Oh, uh, want another beer?" I frowned shaking my head. "Bam, this is serious. We need to talk about that."

"If you really think about it, we don't actually need to talk about any of this. Why don't we do what we want?" He grabbed a beer from the fridge and cracked it open.

"What do you want?" I mumbled nervously. "I want," he paused putting his beer down on the dresser and quickly walking over to sit down on the bed with me. "I want to forget about this," he took my hand in his.

"I want to forget what we both did." I closed his hand in mine. "You did nothing wrong, Bam. I cheated, I left, I messed up. What did you do?" I ran my available hand through my hair.

"I let you leave." He looked up to me with his eyes killing me inside. "Bam, I- I don't know what to say. I, well of course I still- But you, after what I did? I couldn't let you. It would be wrong." Bam laughed letting a smile show on his face.

"Karli, you're the only thing in my life I've ever done right." My heart skipped a beat.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. "I'm still in love with you, Karli." He smiled. "I'll always be in love with you." I felt a shiver down my entire body as if I was being pushed, but didn't move an inch.

"Bam, I can't let you be with someone who's not good for you." I stood up walking backwards towards the door.

"You're perfect with me." He stood up. I stopped and swiftly turned around walking back to him.

"How would it work?" I mumbled. "Come with me to California." He took a step towards me. "The guys love you, I love you. We've been through hell and we've made it work." I shook my head as I took several steps back.

"But you deserve a girl that you don't have to go through hell with. One where it's perfect." Every step I took back, he took one forward until I was up against the wall and he was 2 feet away from me.

"I don't want a girl who's perfect. I just want you." He took another step forward now just a few inches from my face.

"I want you back. I want you with all of your flaws and mistakes. I don't want a perfect relationship because that's no fun and god knows we love fighting because our make-up sex is the best sex there is." He smiled leaning in so his face was 4 inches from mine.

I looked into his eyes, down to his lips and back up again. "I can't do this, if you don't want to." He brought up his hand and put it on the tip of my chin pulling up my face. Sending shivers throughout my body at his touch.

He gently pulled my face closer to his into a kiss. His warm lips against mine made my body feel like it was melting.

Without hesitation, I put my hands at the bottom of Bam's shirt and pulled it off of him. I kicked off my shoes just before he kneeled down and pulled off my pants, coming back up and continuing the kiss.

He pulled of my shirt and dropped down his pants exposing his boxers and my matching black bra and thong.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he carried me to the bed.

_

I woke up in Bam's arms wearing his t-shirt with my bra and underwear. I looked over to him still sleeping with only sweatpants on. I looked over to the clock to see it was 11. "Shit." I mumbled breaking out of Bam's grip.

I stumbled out of bed grabbing my pants first and pulling them up. I stepped into my Adios and slipped on my shirt.

I leaned over Bam's bed running my fingers through his hair. "Bam," I whispered smiling as he slowly opened his eyes. "I was hoping I'd wake up like this." He smiled.

He put his hand behind my neck and pulled me in for a long kiss. "You've got to get up." I jumped up to sit in the bed next to him.

"What time is it?" He mumbled in his sleepy voice sitting up next to me leaning on the headboard of the bed.

"11, you've got one hour." He curled his lip over and made a pout-face. "I'll be at the airport." I smiled leaning my head on his shoulder. "And on Johnny's jet." Bam smiled.

I lifted my head and looked over to him. "What?" He grabbed a gray long-sleeved shirt from his night-stand and slipped it on.

"You're coming." I raised an eyebrow watching him push himself off the bed and walk over to his dresser. "What made you think that?" He pulled off his sweatpants and pulled on jeans.

"Karli, we're back. We're together again; I think California would be great for us. Warm weather, ocean, you in a bikini." He smiled. "I don't know about that." I stood up taking a step back from the bed.

"Look, you don't have to decide right now. Think about it." His smile hadn't faded. "Tell me at the airport." He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me into another kiss.

"Consider it." He looked down at me with his blue eyes giving me chills. "I will." I kissed him again and walked out of his room.

I grabbed my jacket and purse and quickly walked outside immediately dialing Johnny's number.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-five.**

I drove the Lambo to the airport straight from Bam's and waited in the parking lot until 11:40 thinking about the trip to California and how I'd tell Bam. I still had no idea how I'd say goodbye to him and Ryan.  
Ryan: Where are you?  
Karli: I'm coming in now.  
I turned off the car and walked towards the airport.  
The second I walked to the room the guys were in, I felt someone run into my side, causing me to fall over with them on top of me. "What the fuck?" I yelled looking around. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to be the first one to hug you." Raab smiled laying on his back laughing.  
I looked over to all of the guys on the other side of the room laughing. Raab sat up and wrapped his arms around me hugging me tight.  
"You're such an asshole." I put my hand on the back of my throbbing head. He stood up and reached out his hand to help me up.  
He began to walk away when I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. "Jerk-off." I whispered in his ear smiling.  
"You're late." Steve-O joked. "I've been here for over half an hour." I sat next to Ryan in the private waiting chairs. "Why didn't you come in?" Ryan nudged my shoulder.  
"Just thinking. I'll tell you later." Ryan looked over to Bam who had just walked in the room. "Looks like you're not the only one who's late." He pointed to Bam.  
"What happened last night?" I swallowed hard. "We, you know-" I mumbled not wanting the rest of the guys to hear me. "Well, are you back together?" Ryan smiled. "Not exactly." I paused.  
"He asked me to come to California with you guys." Ryan's smile got larger as he got closer to me. "What did you say?!" Before I could answer, Bam was too close for me to say anything more.  
"Where's Brittany?" I looked around the room. "We all went over there this morning 'cause she wasn't feeling good." Steve-O fell back landing in the chair next to Ryan.  
"Where were you?" Johnny smiled. "Oh, I was-" I stopped briefly looking over to Bam. "I had a rough night. I was probably still sleeping." I coughed feeling terrible for lying to them. "I'm sure you were pretty tired after being up with Bam all night." Johnny laughed.  
I smiled looking over to Bam and back to Johnny. "Well in that case, I was at Bam's. Sleeping." I smiled trying to hide my blushing cheeks.  
"Are you two…?" Dico pointed at Bam and me, smiling. "Well," I stopped myself and ignored the question.  
As the time went by I barely talked. I had no idea what I'd say to Bam or Ryan and explain to them how I wouldn't be going to California with them.  
"Guys, it's time to go." Johnny stood up. The rest of the guys stood up with him and walked to their plane entrance. Bam had gone to the bathroom, giving me the chance to say goodbye to the guys first, and explain to him after.  
"Are you sure you won't come?" Raab had a small smile on his face. "I can't. But when you guys come back, I'll be waiting with beers for all of us." I smiled hugging him.  
I said goodbye to the rest of the Jackass crew when only Steve-O, Johnny, Dico and Ryan were left. "Keep in touch." Steve-O smiled hugging me tighter than anyone before him. "I promise." I kissed his cheek.  
"Thank you." I smiled kissing Johnny's cheek before hugging him. "For what?" He smiled kissing me back. "Everything." I mumbled winking at him and stepping back.  
"Now you." I smiled quickly hugging Dico. "I don't even know what to say," He stopped me. "Don't say anything." He smiled. "A year's not that long." My smile slightly faded. "I shouldn't have said that." He frowned. "No, no. Don't worry. You'll be hearing from me soon." I smiled hugging him one more time.  
I looked over to Ryan. "You're obviously not coming." He mumbled stepping over to me. "I'm sorry. I just-" He stopped me. "I get it." He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me in towards him.  
"I'll miss your hugs," I mumbled into his chest. "I guess this will be my last one for a while." He pulled back keeping his arms around my neck.  
"It won't be easy without yours either." I felt myself tear up. "Please don't cry," he mumbled kissing my head. "Don't forget to call me." I whispered pulling him in for another hug.  
"I won't." He put his chin over my head. "Just, don't say goodbye." I looked up to him. "Why?" I stepped back.  
"Goodbyes can last forever, and that's not what this is." He smiled. I walked up fast and hugged him one last time. "I love you, Ryan." I held back the tears. "I love you too." He kissed my forehead a few times before stepping back.  
"I should go, before he comes back." I stepped towards him slipping a letter in his pocket. "It's for Bam. Give it to him a few minutes after you guys take off. It should 'explain some things.'" I kissed his cheek and stepped back as he turned to walk down the aisle.  
I stopped Ryan just before he got too far away to hear me. "Ryan," I smiled. "I'll see you later." He raised his hand waving, and walked out of site.

I struggled to keep the tears down, but I didn't let it show.  
I starred at the aisle which Ryan had walked down for a few minutes waiting for Bam. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist from behind and kiss my neck. "Are your bags already on the jet?" He took my hand and stepped in front of me. I felt a single tear run down my cheek. I quickly whipped it away before Bam could notice.  
"We have to talk." I mumbled. "Alright, make it quick, cause we have to go." He smiled. "Bam, that's the point. We aren't going anywhere. You are." His smile quickly left his face.  
"What are you talking about?" I felt as if I was choking and could barely get any words out. Bam's face was causing me to break inside. "I mean I'm not going to California." He wrinkled his face.  
"What do you mean? What- Why not?" He backed up a step. "I just think every things moving so fast and-" He stopped me. "I get it; you don't want to be together. That's why you left in the first place." I wrinkled my face and stepped forward, only for him to take another step back.  
"Bam, you've got it all wrong. I love you, I just think we should wait until you come back and things will just be easier for the both of us." I quickly stepped towards him touching his arm. "No, don't. Fucking don't." He stepped back.  
"Don't plan on seeing me when we come back." He walked down the aisle towards the jet and didn't turn back.  
I stood there, not knowing what to do or where to go, understanding why Bam acted the way he did, but wished he didn't.  
"Love you too." I mumbled.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-six**.

-Bam's POV-  
I stepped on the jet feeling like something was pulling me back to where I had left Karli. In other words, I felt like complete shit.  
There was a seat next to Ryan, which I considered sitting in, but walked by knowing it was best I was left alone.  
I took my beanie off and rubbed my fingers through my hair. "Damn it." I mumbled pulling my beanie back on. I leaned my head on the window of the jet starring back at the airport, where Karli was probably still standing.  
It took a few minutes for the plane to finally take off and when it did, I felt worse than I had when Karli told me she wasn't coming with me.  
I heard the guys in the rows of seats behind me laughing and fucking with each other. I wasn't in the mood for games.  
About 5 minutes after the plane took off, I felt someone slide into the seat next to me. "Not now, dude." I groaned looking over to see Ryan. "I know you don't want to talk, and I'm not sure what this says, but she said it would make you understand things better." I took the letter and slid it in my pocket.  
"Thanks." I mumbled leaning over looking out the window. Once I felt him get up and go back to his seat, I quickly opened the letter:  
Bam-  
I don't really know how to say this… So I'll just tell you to turn around.  
-Karli.  
I wrinkled my face and put the letter on the available seat next to me. I leaned over and looked towards the back of the jet.  
"Karli?" I mumbled not believing what I was seeing. She stood there smiling in the aisle way of the jet. I quickly got out of my seat and walked back to where she was at. "What are you doing?" I smiled. "You really thought I'd go a year without you?" She smiled wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me down to a kiss.  
I put my arms around her waist and pulled her in closer.  
Karli's POV.  
"Karli!" I heard Ryan yell from his seat. Bam let me go as Ryan walked back to where we were. "What the hell are you doing here?" He pulled me in for a tight hug. "I wasn't about to not be with my guys for a year." I smiled.  
"But how?" Ryan stepped back. I leaned on Bam as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We all turned our heads to see Johnny, Steve-O and Jeff walking towards us. "Him." I smiled pointing at Johnny.  
Johnny shrugged his shoulders smiling. "The fuck?" Steve-O smiled standing a few feet in front of me. "I'm coming." I smiled.  
Steve-O wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me for a quick second. "Jeff, this is Karli. Karli, this is Jeff." Jeff reached his hand out.  
"You seem like a nice girl," Jeff smiled as he shook my hand. "What're you doing with these assholes?" We laughed. "I think it's the other way around." I smiled.  
"Not a chance." Bam kissed my forehead. "Hey Jackass', time to take your seats and buckle up." The pilot said through the jet's speakers.  
I followed Bam to his seat and turned around to talk to Ryan. "Why don't you come sit up here?" I smiled. "I think I'll let you two talk." He smiled buckling his seat belt.  
I turned around to buckle mine when I was immediately greeted by Bam's lips. "I have a question." He mumbled pulling away. "Does this mean we're…?" He pointed to me and back to himself. I nodded smiling and putting my hand behind his neck.  
"Yes?" He smiled. "Yes." I smiled back pulling him in for a kiss.  
With about 6 hours of flying left, I decided to take a nap with Bam. "Karli," I heard Bam whisper in my ear as he pushed on my shoulder.  
I stretched out my arms before opening my eyes and yawning. "Feel like taking some shots?" He smiled kissing my gently. "Yeah," I smiled back, half asleep. "Where's my seat belt?" I mumbled feeling my waist for it but not looking down.  
"You kept moaning about it in your sleep so I took it off for you." He reached his hand out to help me up. "Sorry." I half-smiled taking his hand and standing up. "Don't worry," He whispered in my ear. "I liked it."  
I walked backwards for a second looking at him biting my lip. "You bitch." He mumbled watching me laugh as we got to Ryan and the rest of the guys.  
"Vodka or Karli's?" I wrinkled my forehead. "What do you mean, 'Karli's'?" He pulled out my usual Mexican liquor from the bag. "Since no one here can pronounce this shit, and this is obviously your favorite, why don't we just call it Karli?" I laughed.  
"That makes so much sense. I'll take Karli." I smiled as he poured a shot for all of us. In the end it was only Wee-Man who took Vodka.  
"And we'll toast to…" Johnny stopped looking around at all of us. "Karli and Bam," Ryan smiled raising his glass. "To Karli and Bam, I wish you luck in your relationship." All of the guys raised their glasses. "To Karli and Bam." They all yelled as I raised mine last second. We all downed the shots.  
"I should've had Karli," Wee-Man wrinkled his face. "What?" Bam turned towards him. "That vodka just fucking killed me, dude." We laughed.  
We all took shot after shot until the pilot told us we would soon be landing and to take our seats.  
I dizzily followed Bam back to our seats. "Hey babe," He slurred. "Do you want to go on a date tonight?" I smiled and buckled my seat belt. "I'd love to." I took his hand and leaned as far as I could over to lean on his shoulder.  
"Hey babe," I raised my head looking over to him. I pulled his face close to mine and kissed him allowing our tongues to meet. I pulled back and bit my lip. "How can you do that to me?" He frowned. "You'll get it tonight." I smiled kissing him and leaning back on his shoulder.  
"I love you, Bam." I pushed my cheek onto his warm skin. "I love you too." He kissed my head and leaned back in his seat as the plane began to make its way down to the airport.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-seven.**

Bam helped me off the plane, as we were both falling over. Thankfully Johnny had someone get our bags and take them to our hotel.  
"Be ready for paparazzi." He mumbled taking my hand in his. We were barely inside LAX before the guys were all being attacked by fans as they asked for pictures and autographs. Some even asked me if I would take the picture for them, which I had no problem with.  
"Bam, is this your wife?" Someone asked next to me. "She's my girlfriend." We smiled. "Are you going to marry her?" They got closer to us as another fan asked for a picture. I starred at Bam smiling, waiting for an answer, but Bam ignored the question and took the picture with the fan. Dissapointed would describe how I felt.  
"Miss, can I get a picture with you?" I young teen tapped my shoulder. "Why on earth would you want to do that?" I smiled down at her short body before I let go of Bam's hand. "You're Bam Margera's girlfriend, and you're beautiful." I smiled and took the camera from her pushing it out and taking the picture of us for her.  
"Thank you." I smiled for her compliment. "Thank you, miss." I looked back to her as we were being separated by the many fans. "My names Karli." I yelled back to her. "I'm Jessie." She yelled up to me smiling.

I pushed back and just reached her. "I hope I see you again, Jessie." I smiled. She looked me with a huge smile and blushing red cheeks. We were separated again.  
Wow. I thought to myself. Everything was a bit overwhelming, but I wouldn't mind if I got to meet people like Jessie.  
_Bam's POV_  
I watched her walk through the crowd of people asking questions and taking pictures. She was so kind to all of them.  
I turned my head to take a picture with a fan and just like that, I had lost her in the crowd. "Where the hell did she go?" I mumbled under my breath as I began to retrace my steps.  
I soon found her taking a picture with an extremely short and skinny teenaged girl. She looked so happy and beautiful as she smiled into the camera squeezing close to the girl.  
She talked to the girl for a minute until they were forcibly separated.  
"What was that?" I smiled taking her hand in mine and pulling her tightly close to me. "I'm not sure." She smiled up at me.  
"Fuck me if I'm wrong," We laughed "Or fuck me if I'm right, but I think you just met your first fan." I watched her cheeks turn pink. "Why would I have a fan?" She looked forward and smiled to herself. "They probably feel bad for you, dating scum like me," she shook her head and kissed me. "Or maybe they're realizing how unbelievably amazing you are." Her cheeks went from pink to red.  
I saw bright flashes of lights from cameras as I kissed her. "Let's get out of here." I smiled. "Why?" She bit her lip purposely turning me on. "That's why," I whispered as I pulled her towards the main entrance of the airport and quickly to the limo waiting for us all.  
We waited for the rest of the guys to escape the crowd and get to the car before leaving for the hotel.  
Karli's POV-  
Bam walked with me and the rest of the guys to the front desk. "You two are room 1269." The woman smiled at us handing me the card. "You dirty bastard." I laughed looking at Johnny. "I couldn't help myself." He laughed handing the rest of the guys their room cards.  
"You guys feel like going to the pool bar?" Jeff said sliding his card in his pocket. "We'll be down there later." Bam smiled looking back and me and back to the guys.  
"Have fun." Ryan smiled patting Bam's back.  
We all took the elevator to our rooms; Jeff had rented out the entire twelfth floor for us. "Shit," I covered my mouth almost throwing up from my drinking earlier and the whirl feeling the elevator had given me.  
"Are you okay?" Steve-O leaned over to look at me. "Yeah, I'm fine." I slurred. Bam put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.  
We all walked to our rooms so the guys could change into their swim shorts, and me and Bam could be alone. "You two enjoy yourselves." Ryan smiled unlocking his room door, which was right across from ours.  
"We will," I smiled to Ryan before walking in. "I'll be there in a second, babe." Bam mumbled standing in the hallway. I nodded to him before closing the door and walking to the balcony.  
I looked down at all of the people swimming in the water and running around on the sand. I inhaled the warm air and pulled off my shirt so I was just in my tank top and jeans.  
"Can I help with the rest?" I heard Bam from behind me and felt him wrap his arms around my waist as he kissed my neck. "It's beautiful here." I smiled looking down at the beach.  
"My views looking pretty beautiful too." I turned to see him staring at me. I raised my hands to his cheek and pulled him in for a long kiss. He pulled me into the room and pulled off my tank top.  
I pulled his shirt over his head quickly breaking the kiss. I kicked off my shoes as he pulled down my tight jeans.  
I unbuckled his belt as he pulled his pants down for me. He laid me down on the bed kissing my collarbones as his hands explored my body.

Karli," Bam kissed my neck. I opened my eyes to see him shirtless in his swim shorts. "Shit, we're supposed to go down to the pool." I sat up to find myself naked. "Can you get my bikini for me?" I smiled leaning over to put my hair up in a messy bun.  
Bam looked through my bag for a few seconds before pulling out my small black bikini.  
I slipped on my bottoms and then my shorts before putting the top over my head. "Babe, can you help me with this?" I turned around as he tied the back for me. He put both his hands on my shoulders before kissing my neck.  
"You know you can't do that before we go somewhere." Bam raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Biting your lip every damn time we're in public." He smiled. "Hey, I never said I had a problem being a part of the mile high club." He laughed pushing me against the wall and biting his lip.  
I felt myself shake. "You," I caught my breath. "You should do that more often." I kissed him deeply pulling his warm body against mine.  
"Pool time," He pulled back and walked to the door. "Fucking tease," I smiled slipping on my flip-flops and walking to the door.

* * *

**Chapter thirty-eight.**

We took the elevator down to the second floor to meet the guys at the pool, which had been closed off by the hotel so the guys could enjoy their time without being attacked by fans.  
"It's about fuckin' time." Ryan yelled over to us as he sat at the edge of the pool dangling his legs in the pools warm water.  
"Sorry, we got a little held up." Bam smiled. "We knew that part." Johnny laughed.  
Bam started a conversation with Johnny, while I walked to the chairs and laid down on a towel. "I hope you know you're getting in the water at some point." Bam smiled sitting across from me leaning his shoulders on his knees.  
"I don't plan on it." I smiled pulling off my shorts still lying down. "Oh really?" He smiled. "Really." I looked up at him as he bit his lip. I quickly sat up and pulled his face closer to mine kissing him deeply.  
"Don't play games with me, Bam Margera." I smiled. He quickly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me over to the edge of the pool as he threw me over his shoulder.  
"Bam, don't. I swear to fucking god, Bam. Don't even-" Before I knew it, he jumped off the edge with me still in his arms. I let out a loud scream just before my head went under water.  
Just as fast as he had jumped in, he pulled me back out of the water. He shook his head moving his hair off his forehead. A huge smile spread across his face as he laughed at me. "You fucking suck." I pointed my finger at him as I swam to the edge of the pool.  
"Aw, come on babe." He smiled putting his hands under the water and around my waist turning me around and placing them on my hips. I kept my eyes on the roof of the pool not looking at him as he slowly got closer to my face.  
He looked down at my lips and back up to my eyes several times before I finally looked at him. I bit my lip and he leaned in closer to kiss me.  
Just before our lips met, I pushed down all my body weight silently sinking to the bottom of the pool and swimming to the opposite side of Bam.  
"That was great," Steve-O laughed. Bam looked over to me with a smile on his face. "I'll give you five seconds." Bam put up his hand and began counting down.  
I quickly swam over to where he was and pulled him under the water, intensely kissing him. We both swam to the surface of the water to catch our breaths.  
Without another word, I swam to the edge of the water and sat on the edge of the pool dangling my legs over into the water looking around at all of the guys talking and laughing.  
Bam swam over to the edge of the pool and leaned his head and arms over the side looking up at me. "We've still got out date tonight," he smiled. "Shit," I stumbled to stand up. "What's wrong?" He raised his head from his arms.  
"I've got to get this water out of my hair and get ready," I walked to the chair and dried off my legs with the towel before pulling on my shorts. "When will you be upstairs?" I pulled up the towel to my hair and began to run my fingers through it.  
"9?" I dropped the towel and pulled on my flip-flops. I quickly kissed him and walked to the door. "What should I wear?" I yelled over to him. "Something you can run in," He smiled. I waved goodbye to the rest of the guys and quickly walked to the elevator.  
I took a quick shower before towel drying and curling my hair. I changed into a gray hoodie and dark shorts before putting on my make-up.  
I heard a knock on the door, which I figured was Bam. "Hold on, babe." I slipped on my black Adios before opening the door. I was immediately greeted by Bam's lips before he kicked the door shut. "Ready?" He smiled dropping his hands from my cheeks.  
"Yeah, I breathed walking to my purse and pulling out my phone. Just before slipping it into my pocket, I felt it vibrate.  
Ville: I feel bad for the way I left things with you, can you call me?  
I starred at my phone in disbelief. "Everything okay?" Bam walked over to me. "Yeah, I was just checking my messages." I faked a smile as he walked into the bathroom to shower.  
"I'll be 10 minutes." He yelled out threw the bathroom door.  
10 minutes later, Bam walked out of the bathroom showered, dressed and ready to leave.  
"So, where exactly are we going?" He reached out to hold my hand. "Secret," He smiled. "You'll see." He squeezed my hand as he called the elevator.  
Once we reached the lobby floor, Bam covered my eyes and directed me outside. "Where are we going?" I laughed. "You'll see." He kissed my shoulder walking me about 30 feet before picking me up. "Bam!" I squealed.  
"Just keep your eyes closed," He laughed. I pulled up my hands and brought them to my face to cover my eyes.  
After a few seconds, he gently put me on the ground and walked be a few steps forward. "Okay," He whispered taking my hands from my face and bringing them down to my sides.  
I opened my eyes to see a towel with boardwalk fries and beer. I covered my mouth while I was giggling. "Bam," I smiled walking towards him. He opened his arms and pulled me into a tight hug. "I love you," I mumbled pushing my face into his neck. "I love to too." He whispered back to me.  
I kissed him on the lips before backing up taking his hand in mine. He pulled me back to the blanket as he sat down pulling me with him.  
We sat on the dark empty beach until our beers and fries were gone. "Still hungry?" He smiled taking a sip of his beer. "That was a lot of fries," I laughed wiping the edge of my lips.  
He fell back on the ground laying down on the towel while I crawled over and laid down on top of him. I kissed him gently as he smiled up at me. "I want you to know, I'm never leaving you again." I smiled quickly kissing him again.  
"So, get used to me, cause I'll be here for a long damn time." He brushed his fingers through my hair smiling. "I can get used to that." He rolled me over to where he was on top of me before kissing me.  
He pulled back and bit his lip as he looked down at me before jumping up and running off on the water line of the beach.  
I quickly jumped up and ran towards him jumping on his back and kissing his neck. "I'm tired," I mumbled feeling my drunk ass start to crash. "Let's go get some more beer then." He smiled. I smiled back to him following him back to the blanket and beer.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Nine.**

I woke up at 9:30 to an alarm with Bam's arms wrapped around me holding me against his chest. I looked around to see that we were in the room, which I didn't understand, since we had fallen asleep on the beach. I raised my hand over to turn the alarm off before waking Bam up.  
"Babe," I whispered while I gently turned over. "5 more minutes." He mumbled wrinkling his forehead. "You set the alarm, babe. Not me," I laughed. "What's it for?" He cracked open one of his eyes. "I've got to get ready and get down to filming. It starts at 10:30." He moaned rolling over and falling off the side of the bed.  
"You okay, baby? " I laughed leaning my head over the edge of the bed. I stepped over him and walked to the kitchen to make coffee.  
While it was brewing, I walked over to my phone to check my messages.  
Brittany: Did you make it to California okay? I miss you already!  
Karli: Yeah, we're at a hotel now. I miss you too! I really wish you could've come.  
Brittany: I'll try to make it down to visit sometime. I've got a bunch of job interviews this week and Jake's going to come down soon and keep me some company.  
Karli: You and Jake? I always knew.  
Brittany: Oh please! He's always had a thing for you!  
Karli: Bam's passed out on the floor, I'll call you later.  
I waited a minute for her to reply while I poured the coffee. When my phone vibrated, I expected it to be her.  
Ville: Look, I understand if you don't want to talk. But I want us to be friends; you're a great girl Karli. Don't you want to know what really happened that night?  
Karli: Call you later.  
I realized Bam was up and walking towards me. "Who's that?" He asked brushing his fingers through his hair. "Brittany," I quickly slid my phone into my back pocket. "She wanted to make sure we got here safe." I opened the jar of sugar while Bam got out the cream from the fridge.  
"I'll order breakfast. What do you want?" He pulled on a shirt and stepped into his Adios. "Whatever you're having," I stirred my coffee as I handed him his. "I'll drink it when I get back." He put it down on the kitchen counter and kissed me before he left.  
Ryan: Are you coming to filming today?  
Karli: Of course, what else would I be doing?  
Ryan: Well, Bam said he had something planned for you so you wouldn't get bored.  
Confused, I decided not to reply and walk out on the balcony. I sat down in one of the chairs and dialed Ville's number. "Karli?" He answered. "You wanted me to call you," I replied. "I know, I just wanted to make sure it was you and not- nevermind." He paused. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the other night," His deep voice and Finnish accent made me shiver.  
"What really happened that night?" I mumbled. I waited a few seconds, waiting for him to reply. "Nothing," He finally breathed. "Everything you remember, the kissing and the sleeping together, that happened. But we didn't have sex." I let out a sigh of relief.  
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I half-smiled, happy Ville and I hadn't slept together. "At the moment, I was having feelings for you, and I knew I couldn't have you. So basically, I, being the fucking moron I am, I figured I'd keep you confused and go back to Finland and write a song about it." I frowned, but a smile was fighting its way out of me.  
"You wrote a song about me?" I continued to fight the smile. "No one can know, of course." I bit my lip. "Of course," I replied. "It hasn't got a name, but it's just about me wanting you, and not being able to have you, despite the few things that happen between us." I checked the room to make sure Bam hadn't come back.  
"Sing it to me," I let a small smile show on my face. He began singing the song in his beautiful deep voice before Bam came back to the room. "It's beautiful," I let a large smile show on my face. "I can't believe you actually wrote a song about me." I said astonished.  
"You're a great girl, Karli. Don't be surprised." I blushed. I heard Bam knock on the window causing me to jump. "Bam just got back," I paused. "We can talk another time." I smiled. "Bye, Ville." I smiled. "Bye, Karli." I hung up the phone and slid it into my pocket before walking back into the room.  
"Who was that?" Bam asked while I closed the door behind me. "Uh," I smiled to myself. "Ville, actually." He looked up to me with a blank face. "It's not what you think," I smiled walking up to him and gently kissing him.  
"Nothing ever happened," I looked up to him. "Really?" He smiled. I nodded and got on my tippy-toes to kiss him. "Great," He smiled, not reacting how I thought.  
"So, what exactly am I supposed to do today?" I opened my egg, sausage and cheese sandwich Bam had gotten me. "What do you mean?" He took a sip of his coffee.  
"I know you've got something planned today." He sat his coffee down and rolled his eyes. "Ryan?" He frowned. "Yeah," I smiled.  
"It's a surprise. Just wear something," he paused looking for the word. "Dark?" He mumbled.  
I changed into jet black pants, a red tank top and black heels. I straightened my hair and pulled on my heartagram necklace.  
"Is this okay?" I walked into the living room to see Bam watching TV sipping on a beer. "Perfect," He smiled pushing himself off the couch. "Perfect timing too, I'll drop you off at her house." He opened the door for me as I swiftly turned around to face him. "Who's house?" I grabbed my purse.  
"It's a surprise." He smiled walking with me to the elevator. I thought of many people who I could possibly be hanging out with, before I finally brought it down to one person.

* * *

**Chapter Forty.**

It only took a few minutes before Bam and I reached a large house with an interesting antique door. I looked over to Bam, who was putting the Lambo, which he had delivered, in park.

"Ready?" He smiled. I smiled back to him and nodded. I waited for him to open his door and step out before I opened mine.

Before we reached the door, a tall dark haired tattooed woman with a dark colored sphinx. I immediately recognized her. Kat Von D.

I quietly inhaled and exhaled deeply to keep myself calm and not seem like the huge fan I really was. "Hi," She smiled exposing her perfect and bright white teeth. "I'm Kat." She held her cat tightly against her chest with one arm while she wrapped the other around my back pulling me in for a hug.

"I'm Karli," I smiled back at her. "It's great to finally get to meet you," She pushed her bangs from her face behind her ear.

"Bam's told me a lot about you." We looked over to him. "Good, I hope." She hugged Bam the same way she had hugged me. "Of course," She laughed with her famous squeak.

"I've got some beer inside if you guys want some," She pulled her cat towards her now holding him with both arms.

Bam shook his head, "I've got to go film," Kat curled her lip over. "I'll see you guys later." Bam kissed Kat's cheek and gently and quickly kissed me before walking away. "Bye." I looked back to him as Kat waved.

The moment I stepped into Kat's gigantic home, I was amazed. Paintings and old-time photo-graphs scattered the room, along with her dark-Vampira theme. "This is so beautiful." I smiled as I went in a circle looking at all of her beautiful creations and buys.

"Thank you." She walked into the room with two beers in one hand, and her cat in the other. She handed me one of the beers as she put her cat firmly on the wooden ground.

I squatted down to pet the cat as he rubbed his neck against my shoes. "I think he likes you." Kat looked down smiling at me. "He's adorable." I smiled standing up. "What's his name?" Kat fell back another one of her antique buys, a dark red leather office chair.

"Piaf," He jumped up on onto the chair with her and cuddled up in her lap. "From the singer." She added.

"He's incredible." I smiled, talking about the cat. "So, what are we going to do today?" She sipped on her beer. "I don't really know much about LA, whatever you'd like." She checked her phone for a second while I took a seat on the couch across from her chair.

"Shit," She breathed. "What?" I set me beer on the nightstand next to me. "I completely forgot I have an appointment today." She frowned. "That's fine, do you want me to call a cab or can you drive me to the hotel?" She smiled as she stood up and set Piaf on the ground.

"You can come, if you want." I smiled back at her as I stood up. "I'd love too!" She grabbed her keys and let out her squeak laugh.

"Come on, dude." She picked up her purse and grabbed Piaf before walking out the door.

Once we reached High Voltage, I was even more amazed. Of course I had seen the tattoo parlor before on TV, but in person, it was bigger and even more beautiful.

Kat introduced me to everyone before her appointment arrived. As she started preparing her tattoo gun and ink, I noticed her client was staring at me.

"Hi," I smiled turning around and looking back to her. Without saying a word, she just looked me up and down and smiled at me.

I turned my head around slowly to look at her and see if she was still looking at me. She quickly turned her head to make it look as if she hadn't been looking.

I walked over to sit next to her in the couch. "I'm Karli." I smiled as she looked over to me. "I'm Angie." She half-smiled back.

"That's beautiful," I pointed down to the picture of a young woman she was getting tattooed on her. "Thank you. It's my Gran." She smiled. "I'm getting it on my back for her birthday." She handed me the picture, not taking her eyes off of it.

"She'll love it." I studied the photograph of the young woman, who's olive skin would know be pale and wrinkled, due to the date on the photo.

"Yeah, I wish she could see it." I looked up to her as she kept her eyes on the photo. "She passed a few months ago." She faked a smile as she looked up to me and I handed her the photo. "I'm so sorry," I raised my hand to her shoulder.

"Don't be," Kat began to walk over to us. "She was ready." Her lip quivered as she fought the tears back from flowing down her face. I quickly wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "Are you ready?" I pulled away as I heard Kat's voice.

I looked over to Angie and smiled as she stood up and walked to Kat's table. "It was really nice to meet you, Karli." She smiled. "You too, Angie." I smiled back at her as she turned around and laid down on Kat's table.

By the time Angie's tattoo was done, it was 12:30. "Again, it was great to meet you. I hope we can hang out again." She smiled as Kat covered her tattoo on her back. "Of course!" I smiled back at her. "Can I have your number before I leave?" She pulled her phone out of her pocket as Kat finished covering her tattoo.

Once I gave her my number, she paid Kat for her tattoo, said goodbye, and left. "Will I be seeing you tomorrow?" Kat smiled as she packed up her tattoo kit. "Definitely! I don't think the guys are filming tomorrow, so Bam could come, too." I smiled back.

"If we drink, which knowing Bam, we will, you guys can stay in the guest room." She walked to her 'office-room' and waved me in. "Sure, we can be over tomorrow at about 8-ish." She grabbed her purse as I followed her back out of the room.

"Rad!" She squeaked as we walked to her car. I pulled out my phone to text Bam as I slid into the passenger's seat.

Karli: Feel like staying at Kat's tomorrow night?

Bam: Will there be drinking?

Karli: Of course.

Bam: Then yes.

It was all so unbelievable. I was dating Bam Margera, my best friend was Ryan Dunn, Ville Valo wrote a song about me and I'd be staying at Kat Von D's tomorrow night. Almost a year ago I'd never had believed any of this was even possible, and now I'm living it.

* * *

**Chapter Forty-One.**

Kat drove me back to the hotel, knowing filming was over early today due to the rain. "I'm really glad we got to hang out today. Even if it was just for a little." Kat smiled as she parked her car. "Me too." I smiled back.  
"Maybe I can tattoo you next time." I grabbed my purse and stepped out of the car. "Dude, I'd love that!" I smiled as she squeaked. "Alright, well I'll let you get upstairs." I raised my hand and waved to her as I looked through the open car door.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled closing the door as she backed out of the parking space and drove out of the lot.

I began to walk towards the hotel when I saw Ryan waiting at the elevator. "Long time no see." He smirked. I walked up and quickly hugged him. "Feel like having dinner tonight?" I smiled as I took a step back.

"So I can be the third wheel?" Ryan laughed. "Who said Bam was coming?" We stepped onto the elevator and clicked our floor. "Are you sure he'll be okay with that?" I shrugged my shoulders as Ryan laughed.

"We can go out for a bit before, too." I added as we reached our floor. "15 minutes?" He let me step off before him. "I'll meet you here then." I smiled as we walked to our rooms which were directly across from each other.

I felt my phones text-tone go off twice.

Angie: Just thought I'd let you have my number! – Angie xx.

Giordyn (Sister): Haven't heard from you in a while now, how is everything?

"Who's that?" Ryan looked over. "A girl I met at the tattoo shop." I slipped my phone in my pocket, forgetting to reply. "Speaking of that, how is Kat?" He digged in his pocket. "I've only just met her. But from what I've seen, good. She seems really happy." He nodded with no expression.

"Why?" He wrinkled his face, not wanting me to ask. "Well, last time I talked to her she-" He was interrupted by the guys loudly walking out of Johnny's room.

"You missed a hell of a time." Chris slurred walking to his room wearing only a speedo and bunny ears.

"It's only 3?" I laughed looking at Ryan. "It started raining, so the guys came back and got shitfaced." I laughed louder. "And you?" I asked forgetting about what Ryan had said before.

"I took Bam's lambo for a drive." He smiled before unlocking his door and walking inside. I stepped into the room expected Bam to be out partying, but instead found him passed out on the bed.

I smiled to myself before walking to the nightstand next to the bed and getting out the pad of paper and pen from the drawer.

Bam – Going to dinner with Ryan. I'll probably be out late. Love you – Karli.

I sat the note and pen back on the nightstand before slipping out of the room. I silently shut the door behind me, and walked towards the elevator.

Instead of getting on, I decided to sit on the bench facing the 12 story high view of the palm trees and many people walking along the beautiful and puddle-filled streets of LA.

I soon saw a blurred reflection in the window of someone standing behind me. I then noticed the long beard and turned around. "Ready?" I smiled as I stood up and walked around the bench. "Yup." Ryan replied calling the elevator.

_

Ryan and I took his new Porsche and drove a few minutes just listening to music, not speaking. "So, where are you taking me?" I smiled breaking the silence. "You'll see." He smiled back turning down the radio.

"What's with it with you jackass' and surprises?" I joked. "We're jackasses." He laughed back as he pulled into a medium sized bar with 'HENNIGANS' on top of the doors in black letters.

"Not the most expected place for dinner." Ryan laughed opening his door and stepping out. "It's actually just got beer and fries, but some damn good beer and fries." I laughed back as I stepped out of the car and followed him inside.

Once we stepped through the door, I almost felt my body shake. Either because of the men yelled over the baseball game playing on the TV, the many men fighting throughout the bar, the loud music, or just all of the yelling. But I liked it.

"It's an Irish bar." Ryan smiled, yelling over the music. "Couldn't tell." I sarcastically said back. Ryan reached his hand back to me, which I took willingly, and began guiding me through the many men to a booth

Once we got to our booth, I had never felt more pushed around and stared at in my life. "You okay?" Ryan pretended to be out of breath. "Yeah, I'm fine." I laughed.

Soon after we sat down, a short woman with blonde hair and a green outfit came to our table. "Sorry for the wait, what can I interest you in?" She said in a fake Irish accent. "Cheesy fries and two beers." Ryan looked over to me as I nodded, agreeing with the order.

"For now." I added as she skipped away.

It didn't take her long to come back with our order, before again skipping away from us.

I looked over to Ryan as he began to eat the hot cheesy fries, as I smiled to myself. It was the first time Ryan and I had been alone together in weeks.

"Well don't make me eat the damn things myself!" He laughed taking a sip of beer once he finished his steaming fry.

"Ryan, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?" His eyes got wider. "Not too long. I've been with more girls than I've dated." I wrinkled my forehead. "I'm going to forget you said that last part," I let out a small laugh.

"Would you like to meet someone, Ryan?" I smiled. "No, no, no. You're not setting me up with anyone." He shook his head.

"But the girl I met at the tattoo place, she's really nice and really pretty." He perked his lips. "Fine, I'll meet her. But for now, let's just drink." I nodded as I raised my drink to his.

Many drinks later, Ryan had come to my side of the booth, and we were both shitfaced. "Oh my god, Ryan," I slurred as he raised his glassy eyes to look at me. "I forgot to tell you! I never slept with Ville." I felt my head shake back and forth; everything I was thinking about was coming out.

"That's fucking great!" Ryan drunkenly yelled hugging me. "Let's toast to that!" He raised his glass to mine once again.

"I don't know about this Irish beer, but it's great." I smiled. "We're great- You're great." Ryan's eyes almost rolled back in his head as his face got red. "Thank you." I smiled kissing him on his lips for the first time.

"Karli, what about Bam?" Ryan slurred drunker than I was. "It's a friend kiss," I laughed loudly stretching my body out on the booth and lying down on Ryan's legs. He slammed his beer down on the table and leaned his head back as we both accidentally fell asleep at the booth, drunker than we had been in weeks.

* * *

**Chapter forty-two.**

I woke up still in the booth with Ryan at 11. I was still curled up laying down on the booth. I opened my eyes to see I was facing under the table to the other seat in the booth. I saw Ryan sleeping with his mouth opened wide and snoring across from me.

I sat up to see many other passed out people scattered around the room. There was a sign in the corner of the room that read: Aspirin and water $1. Slice of bread $1.

I pushed my back off against the booth to stand up, but ended up falling back. I raised my hand to my pounding head. "Damn it." I mumbled as I stumbled back up and walked my aching body to the aspirin and water table.

I pulled out a dollar from my pocket and slid it into the box next to the aspirin and water.

I took the small pill from the bottle and took a glass of water. I soon felt my stomach flip. Before taking the pill, I ran to the bathroom 10 feet away before aggressively puking as I just made it to the toilet.

After about 10 minutes of this, I finally felt my stomach pains go away and took the aspirin and water. I then stepped out of the bathroom to see most of the men had already left.

I put another dollar in the box and took a piece of bread from the loaf before checking my phone.

8 missed calls from Bam

Bam: Where are you?

Bam: Do you guys need a ride? I don't want Ryan driving you drunk.

Bam: Can you just call me? Where did you sleep last night?

Bam: Just call me when you wake up.

Kat: Still on for tonight?

Angie: Really? I'd love too!

1 missed call from Brittany.

Brittany: You're probably out drinking; call me when you get back!

Johnny: Where's Ryan? We start filming in an hour.

I walked to the bathroom not wanting to wake anyone up, and dialed Bam's number. "Karli?" He answered the phone. "Hey, sorry I haven't answered. I'm at an overnight bar with Ryan." I leaned against the wall.

"Well that's fine but Ryan needs to get to filming. Him and Steve-O have a stunt today." His accent poured out. "I'll wake him up and send him over. " I walked to the door of the bathroom ready to walk out.

"I'll see you later," I mumbled. "I love you, baby." He emphasized baby. "I love you too, baby." I laughed hanging up the phone. Before walking out to the table Ryan was still snoring at. I gently nudged his shoulder making him jump awake.

He grunted and raised his hands to his head before sitting back in the seat

I took a dollar from my pocket again and got Ryan an aspirin glass of water. I tapped his shoulder handing him the aspirin and water as he looked up to me. "You've got a skit today." I smiled sitting in the chair and pulling out my phone.

"I know that. Why else would I take you to a bar we could crash in?" He took two large gulps of water. "Well it was a good idea. We were shitfaced." I laughed replying to my texts.

Karli (To Brittany.): I'm at a bar with Ryan, call you when I get back to the hotel.

Karli (To Johnny.): I'm getting him up now. Sorry.

Karli (To Kat): Hell yes! I'll see you then!

I read the text over Angie sent to me and checked what I had sent to her last night.

Karli (Last night to Angie.): You should totally go on a date with my friend Ryan. He's awesome. You'd love him.

Angie: Really? I'd love too!

I looked over to Ryan, smiling suspiciously. "What?" He asked as I giggled to myself. "What?" He asked again. "You've got a date tomorrow night." He wrinkled his forehead. "With who?" His voice tone got higher. "That girl I told you about that I met in the tattoo shop," I smiled.

"Her names Angie." He rolled his eyes standing up and walking towards the door.

I quickly jumped out of my seat and followed him to the door. "She's really pretty!" I added. "You'd love her, really." He held the door open for me as he looked back silently laughing.

He opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. I quickly walked while following him to the car. "I'll go." He opened the door and pulled himself into the car. A big smile spread across my face as I quickly got into the car.

"You guys can go to The Melting Pot. 6 o'clock." Ryan started the car making a small smile.

Karli: Meet him at The Melting Pot at 6 tomorrow night.

"Is she that great?" Ryan smiled pulling out of the parking lot and driving down the highway. "I promise." I smiled.

"I'll drop you off at the hotel; I've got to get to set." I nodded as he messed with the radio.

I hugged Ryan tightly before stepping out of the car. "It was nice spending time with you." I smiled. "You too," he smiled back.


	2. Chapter 44

I watched Ryan's car drive away before walking into the hotel lobby. I walked to the elevator and called it down to the empty floor I was on.  
I suddenly felt two arms wrap around me and pull me in tightly against their chest.

I nearly let out a small scream, but instead lips were pressed against my own. With my eyes closed, I kissed them back as they pulled on my pant waist, letting me know exactly who they were.

I finally opened my eyes at the ding of the elevator hitting the floor to see a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at me. I took a step back from him, with us both having a smile on our faces.

"Hey babe," He smiled with his accent highly showing. "I've got a question." We stood outside the elevator. "About?" I asked playing with his hand as he reached over to hold mine. "We're going to Kat's tonight, right?" He leaned his head down and raised his eyes to mine.  
"Yeah, why?" I asked. "Well that means we don't have much time," He put his hands on my waist and turned me to where my back was to the elevator. "Wh-" I was interrupted by Bam's lips being pressed against mine.

He gently pushed me into the elevator walking in with me and quickly pushing the 12th floor before anyone else could get in with us.  
Bam took my jacket off as he kissed my neck until we reached the 12th floor.

I hurried with him off the elevator as we awkwardly walked to our room fighting our laughs from coming out and letting the rest of the guys know we were there.

I leaned on the wall as he shoved his hand in his pocket to get the door key. "Struggling?" I smirked as he shoved his hand into all of his pockets just to find a lot of money and gum.

I reached my hand in my purses side pocket and slid out the key. I waited a second for the green light to show. As soon as I saw it, Bam's hand pushed the door open and pulled me inside. He dropped my jacket and purse onto the floor before pushing me by my waist over to the edge of the bed.

Once we reached the bed he pulled me down by my waist so that I was sitting on the bed while he was still standing up. He pulled away from the kiss and took a step back.

I looked up to him smiling down on me. "Wait here." He took three steps back before turning around and quickly walking to the front room of our hotel room.

I kicked off my shoes and looked around the room while I listened to Bam move things around in the next room.

Bam's POV:

I grabbed the small white rectangle box from my black bag. I opened the box and rearranged the chain before closing the box and walking back to the bedroom.

"Close your eyes." I said around the corner so she couldn't see me. She raised her hands to her eyes while I walked over to her.  
I sat next to her on the bed before whispering in her ear, "Okay, open." A smile spread across her face as she dropped her hands to her thighs.

She looked up to me with her eyes wide open with her smile expanding. "Bam,"

It was a gold chain, with one golden circle. It was a locket. She raised her hands and gently pulled it open. Inside I had put in a picture of me and her the first day we met and a picture of us a few weeks before we left for California.

"Oh my god." She smiled. "It's incredible." She covered her mouth. "Do you like it?" I asked her, already knowing the answer. "I love it." She slightly laughed.  
_

Karli's POV

"It's how we were then and how far we've come." We smiled. "It's the best thing I've ever had. Thank you." I kissed him briefly before he went behind me to lock the necklace.

"Wait here, okay?" I said, leaving him this time.

I went into the bathroom and took off all of my clothes except my locket and slipped on a black silk robe Bam had bought me back in West Chester.

"Ready?" I yelled through the door. "Get your ass out here." Bam laughed.

I walked through the door to see Bam's jaw drop. He was lying flat on the bed with his head raised so he could see me. I playfully ran to the bed and jumped next to him.

He placed his hand halfway on my hip and halfway on my ass. His other hand went under my chin and pulled me towards him for a rough make out.

Bam pulled his shirt off while I unbuckled his pants. He slid his hand under my now untied robe and moved his hand up and down my thigh before squeezing my ass.

"Bam," I said standing over him wearing my untied robe from earlier. "Babe, we're going to Kat's." He grumbled and turned his head to the other side. "Bam, please." He didn't budge. "I'm naked." He quickly turned to the side.

"You liar." He frowned as he looked up to me. I slowly pulled the robe open. He grabbed me by my waste and pulled me down on the bed before kissing my hip bones and stomach. "Bam!" I laughed loudly.

"Come on, one more time." He pleaded as I pushed myself up and crossed my arms, closing my robe.

"Three times tomorrow if you get ready now." He jumped up and began to get ready. I laughed to myself as he walked into the bathroom to manage his hair and brush his teeth.

I changed into my push-up bra and very tight black tank top that showed a thin line of skin between my shirt bottom and waist line. I wore dark blue skinny jeans and a black heals. I wore my locket and my hair was as straight as a bone. It had grown a lot recently, all the way down to a few inches above my belly button.

I did my make up when Bam was done in the bathroom; I put on dark eyeliner and mascara and I was ready to leave for Kat's.  
"Ready?" He asked me. I nodded and walked with him out the door and down to the Lambo.

"Karli!" Kat squeaked as she hugged me tightly as soon as I walked through the door. "You know the girl for years and this is what you get?" Bam joked. "Aw, Bam Bam." Kat laughed hugging him.

"Do you guys want some wine?" Kat asked. We both nodded while she poured us both a glass.

_Several wine glasses, shots and dancing later…_

I heard a loud bang from upstairs that made me jump awake; I figured it was just thunder since it was supposed to rain last night. I looked at the clock to see that it was 3 am.

Piaf was cuddled up against me in my arms while I was asleep on the floor. Tired and still drunk, I let my head fall back to the floor and fell asleep with Piaf.


	3. Chapter 45

Something tickling my nose woke me up. I gently opened my eyes to see Piaf close in front of me, his whiskers tickling my nose.

"Good morning," I smiled at him before gently kissing the tip of his nose. I cautiously pushed myself off the floor, knowing I could possibly still be hung over from the night before.

"Where the hell are they?" I quietly said looking around Kat's living room, glancing back down on the floor where I had fallen asleep. "Bam?" I mumbled quickly looking into the kitchen. "Kat?" I asked again.

'Bam must've been called to film.' I thought.

'And Kat must be in her room.' I thought.

"Kat?" I asked again looking up the stairs. Piaf gently brushed against the side of my leg about three times before I picked him up and held him close against me.

I took several steps up the stairs before I walked past a few doors and reached Kats room. Her door was slightly open, but not even Piaf could slide through without pushing it open an inch or two.

Not wanting to wake Kat, I gently pushed her door open without saying a word.

I walked in looking around Kat's room before looking at her bed once I was at least 3 feet away.

"_No, No, No."_ I whispered, covering my mouth.

_I couldn't believe what was in front of me._

_Bam's arms were tightly wrapped around Kat's waste. _

_Kat's naked waste._

_Bam seemed to be naked under all the blankets. _

_A condom was at the edge of the bed on the floor. __**Used. **_

I covered my mouth, making the heavy breathing escaping my lungs almost silent.

I silently left the room, down the hallway and down the stairs. I gently set Piaf down on the couch before searching the floor for my phone.

Once I found it tucked under the rug. It was 3 in the afternoon.

_2 missed calls from __Angie__._

_Angie__: You're not answering your phone, so I have to tell you now! You're never going to believe who I ran into! Ryan! Right on the beach! I'll let you know the details after our date. Call me! Xo_

I quickly dialed Angie's number, only for it to ring 3 times and go to voicemail.

Not knowing what to say, I just hung up. Kat had a notepad and pen by the door where she kept her keys and mail.

I quickly and sarcastically wrote _'Thank you for your friendship.'_

I grabbed Bam and Kat's keys and walked out the door. In midst of my anger, I made a small whole in the mulch around Kat's roses and shoved her keys in before covering it up with the mulch.

I felt no guilt.

Once in the car, I looked up to Kat's window. _That _was when it hit me.

I could feel tears burning in my eyes while my cheeks got hot. Ignoring the burning on my face and the pain in my chest and stomach, I quickly put the keys in the Lambo and drove away.

As soon as I left Kat's driveway I dialed Ryan's number.

Straight to voicemail:

"_Hey, it's Ryan, I'm probably busy or you're just an asshole. Leave a message." _

"Ryan you dick!" I yelled in anger into the phone before the beep.

"Ryan," I cried. "I need you, please call me," tears ran down my face. "Bam slept with Kat." I cried deeper. "Ryan I don't have anyone else to call!" I cried before hanging up the phone.

I drove faster and faster as my heartbeat did the same. I reached the hotel in a matter of minutes.

I gave the Lambo's keys to valley parking before storming in the hotel. I got into the elevator and quickly pressed the buttons to close the door.

I sat in the elevator pacing, crying and hyperventilating. The thought of Bam with someone else, someone who was supposed to be my friend, made me want to throw up.

As soon as the elevator opened I found myself hurrying through the hallway of floor 12. It was silent, except for my heavy footsteps hitting the ground. I figured this quiet meant the guys were asleep or out.

"Ryan!" I yelled as I loudly and hardly banged on his hotel room door. "Ryan!" I yelled several more times. "Ryan!" I yelled one last time. I had been banging and screaming for over a minute. _No answer. _

I pushed my back up against Ryan's door and slid down to sit on the floor. I pulled up my knees and put my head into them and began to cry. Everything was coming out.

After being at Ryan's door for about 30 minutes, I felt a warm hand touch my shoulder. "Ryan?" I looked up, my vision blurred.

"No." He replied. I whipped the tears from my eyes to see Johnny standing in front of me. "What happened?" He asked in a soft tone. I quickly pushed myself up and wrapped my arms around him.

He tightly hugged me back, making me feel secure. I felt the pain in my chest lighten, but stay. His hug wasn't a _Ryan hug_. But it was comforting, and safe, exactly what I needed.

Johnny took me to his room, which was surprisingly uncontaminated. He took my hand in his and led me to the bed.

"What happened?" He asked me as we sat on the edge of the bed, staring back at each other.

I then remembered my makeup must've been smeared across my face and my hair hadn't been brushed. "I'm sorry, I must look like shit." His slightly smiled. "You look beautiful," He lifted up my chin.

"Now tell me everything." He said taking my hand in his. I began telling Johnny about drinking the night before, and how I had found Bam and Kat. I didn't leave out the used condom, or me hiding Kat's keys. I told him _everything._

"You're better than that." He said after we sat in minutes of silence. "You're better than that asshole, and that slut." He growled. "I'm sure Bam's done things like this before, huh?" He pointed out. I ignored the question.

"Exactly." He replied, knowing the answer. "I'm sure he was drunk." I said softly. "Drunk?!" Johnny yelled, letting go of my hand and standing up. "Bullshit!" He yelled. "Bam's a _jackass._ It takes all of us an unbelievable amount of alcohol to get us that 'drunk'." He paused.

"How much did he drink last night?" Johnny asked. "I don't k-" I stopped. I thought extremely hard before remembering how little Bam had to drink. "Oh my god," I felt tears in my eyes begin to form. I brought my face down to my hands in my lap and began to cry.

"Don't do that. Please don't do that." He picked up my hands. "The last time I had a girl crying in my bed-" Johnny laughed before I inturupted him. "Don't tell me." I whipped my tears as a small smile appeared on my face.

I raised my head to realize we were now much closer than we had been before.

"I should kiss you right now." He said. "Why don't you?" I asked. "God I want too." He inched closer to me. "But you're sad," He paused. "You're in desperate need of a friend right now, and that's what I'll be to you." I felt my heart shatter in pieces. _He was right._

I quickly let my body fall into Johnny's as he lay back on the pillows of his bed, holding me securely next to him. I cried into his chest for what felt like an hour before falling asleep, tears staining my cheeks.


End file.
